::Comparison:: The joy thief

In middle school all the girls were wearing steel toed Doc Martens and colored ribbons tied in their hair. And yes, together. It was like prepster meets grunge and it was all the rage. I on the other hand lacked these wardrobe essentials, at least for this year. Doc Martens were expensive and impractical to an adolescent school girl and my parents didn't think they were a necessity unless they finally cashed in on their threats to send me to military school.

But girls are cruel, especially at that age. I got teased for my lack of proper footwear and hair adornments, among other things. I tried to fit in, buying Doc Marten knockoffs, wearing scantily tied ribbons, and even spray tanning (my white skin had an aversion to turning brown naturally..it rather preferred red), but all that ever came of it was the "orange" disaster of 1998 that I'd still rather not talk about.

I got the message that year loud and clear. Being me just isn't good enough.

I spent the better part of the next ten years comparing myself to every girl I met, torturing myself with the "is-she's." Is she better than me? Is she prettier than me? Is she smarter than me?

And then one day, God whacked me out of my misery.

There will always be someone better than you.

Okay...ouch. This wasn't turning in to the pep talk I'd hoped for and I wasn't sure where it was going.

There will always be someone better than you, if you continue to believe there IS a better...

Uh....**confused look**

Who decides what's better or not?

Huh. Good question. Was it the girls in school? The ones in the magazines with adobe as their secret weapon? The men gawking at those magazines? Was it my parents, or their parents, or other people's parents? Or some fashion designer (whose name I can't quite pronounce)?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that God doesn't like cookie cutter creatures. Nature attests to this. There are literally millions of different organisms on planet Earth, each of them unique from bacteria to birds. No, this God loves diversity.

So why was I striving for uniformity?

Comparison is a thief, particularly of two things; time and joy. Wasted moments and missed opportunities lie in it's path. How much time (and head space) is spent on thoughts about others? How many opportunities are missed as we focus on other's journeys instead of our own? And how much joy is stolen at thinking about those who may (or may not be) "better" than us?

Jeremiah 18:4, Isaiah 45:9, and Isaiah 29:16 speak of God as potter and of us as clay, pottery shards, fancified mud! Any potter will tell you that there is no bowl, pot, or vase that is exactly alike and yet they are all crafted from the same loving artist.

How silly that we think we could be the judge of good or bad, better or worse! How foolish to think that we can make a judgement about someone else's life without really knowing them at all. If we knew, if we really knew someone else's life, would we trade with them? I don't think so. And how senseless to think that we, the clay, could tell the Potter His work is sub-parr...at least on this particular vessel.

Comparison is a thief and a liar, one that will continue to rob us daily of joy, time, focus, and most importantly truth. The truth is that you were created with love, carefully, for a purpose. Best of all, you are one-of-a-kind, and you also have a one-of-a-kind journey. One laid out just and only for you. If you focus on other's accomplishments and turn your eye to their journey, you may just risk missing your own.

Don't let comparison steal one more thing from you. Don't believe the lie that being you isn't good enough. In fact being "you" is the ultimate goal!

And please, don't use those self tanning lotions or sprays. Trust me on that one. ;-)

When God is not a gentleman...

Religion is man searching for God, Christianity is God searching for Man.

~Jefferson Bethke

In bible college I chose to attend probably the most charismatic of churches I'd ever been to. 'Slain in the spirit' and 'speaking in tongues' (loudly I might add) were always part of the service, but for those too timid, or simply downright terrified, our Pastor had a saying; God is a gentleman. It was his way of saying 'don't worry, He won't make you do anything you're uncomfortable with.'

So, for a long time I pictured a kindly old man, wise but soft spoken. If you walked away from Him, He simply waited,where He always had been, like the Father in the prodigal son story. I liked this God. I needed gentle. My war torn heart cried out for a Father who wasn't pushy.

But as my heart healed I noticed something, small at first, but important none-the-less. It happened at a time in my life where I was running from something God had called me to. I knew He'd called me to it, but I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to hear about it. And so, in stubborn fashion I ignored the softly spoken invitations. But God didn't stop there. People gave me prophetic words, asked about it, and I began to see it everywhere. (He seems to deal with me alot like this! )

God was not going to let me run this time.

When you read the Song of Songs you get a very different view of God. A God who pursues us relentlessly. This isn't the wise old man waiting patiently in the background. This is a radical, trail blazing, heart pursuing God who doesn't give up on His creation!

Song of Songs 2:14 My dove in the clefts of the rock, in
the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let
me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is
lovely. 15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin
the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

My stubborness needs this God, the one that conks me on the head over and over until I see the light, who continues to speak when I won't listen. This is a God who isn't a gentleman in the traditional sense of the word. This is a Radical Lover who never leaves me in my muck!

This is what I love most about God, His multi-facetedness. You cannot put Him in a box, nor pigeon hole His character. His is this and that, and everything in between because He deals with each of us as individiuals. He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, and our hang-ups, and He pursues each of us differently because of that.

He is a gentleman, He is a zelous and wild lover, and yet He is so much more, calling each one of us into a relationship with Him that promises to be anything but boring.

More than my mistakes...

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" My husband eyed me patiently.

"Nothing." But that wasn't true. I sat on the top of the stairs in our new apartment, thoughts swirling around in my head, tears just on the verge of spilling over.

In fact that nothing that was something, was actually something big. I just couldn't quite put it into words. From 2009 to this January my husband and I had become full-time caregivers (on top of full-time work) to my grandmother. We'd tried our best to help her rehabilitate, but that was just one of my motives. I wanted our relationship rehabilitated too.

My Nonna is a great woman, but our relationship was almost always strained. Her blunt comments pierced my tiny sensitive heart as a child. There were labels that came out of that (fat, unworthy) and wounds that gaped open for years. Secretly, the little girl in me felt that if I could become 'of use' to her, maybe, just maybe, I'd finally please her.

In November of 2011 it became clear that not only could I not please her, but it simply wasn't my job too. And yet, I couldn't help this nagging feeling inside that I'd somehow failed both myself and her by leaving. She was healthy enough now to live on her own with help from other family members, but I still felt guilty. Guilty that I couldn't mend our relationship, guilty of not being able to let go, guilty of feeling like I'd wasted two years of mine, but worse, my husband's time. My perceived mistakes were haunting me, taunting me, and making me miserable.

But that still small voice whispered gently:

You are not your mistakes....

Right, God. I get it...nothing but the blood.

No, YOU are not you're mistakes. You are not your issues. You are mine.

Tears flowed down my cheeks now as I finally understood what He was telling me. That my identity had nothing to do with what I did (or did not) do, and everything to do with Him. My one New Year's Resolution had been to love God more, and as a result, people. It had never occurred to me that I had to love, forgive, and give grace to myself first. Or rather, accept the love, forgivness, and grace I've been given by the One that matters most.

I'm committed to giving others second chances and standing with People of The Second Chance to do so, but this year, I'm finally giving one to myself.

Because He says I'm worth it.

Why I love my church....

Last night I watched as Glenn Beck (a Mormon) opened for our own Pastor Robert Morris on the last night of our "First Under God" Conference. Gateway is an evangelical, non-denominational church but make no mistake--while the slogan is "we're all about people," we're also all about truth too. Week after week Pastor Robert preaches challenging sermons, the first to draw a line in the sand.

And yet Pastor Robert chose a self proclaimed Mormon to speak at our pulpit, a pulpit that has 20,000 members in our regular weekend services, at a conference that had even more viewers through live broadcasting and DayStar TV. And if there was any question about his affiliation, his speech confirmed that with references to the Mormon tabernacle choir and his baptism into the Mormon church.

It wasn't an hour later that the criticisms hit twitter, facebook, and the local water cooler. Questions flooded in from concerned members and viewers alike. Is Glenn Beck really a Christian? Was his speech sincere? Is the Jesus he knows, the same one we believe in? What is Gateway's affiliation with the Mormon Church? Is Gateway endorsing the Mormon Church? What kind of message does this send about absolute truth? What message did Mormons who came to hear Glenn Beck come away with?

Valid concerns, all of them. But really, not the point.

What we witnessed last night is something rare in our world. So rare in fact, that when we do see it, we don't always recognize what it is. Two men stood in front of us of differing viewpoints, calling themselves friends devoid of any ulterior motives other than love. Because of this love and respect, they can disagree and still come away feeling that same brotherly love they started out with.

People are no longer taught how to lovingly disagree with others while holding their own beliefs true. Others go the opposite direction, confusing tolerance with love and grace. What we see in the media and even in our own churches is division and judgment. The church itself has split off into hundreds of denominations, disagreeing on doctrines both big and small, all in the name of being 'right'. It is a rare person now that can do what they have done, who can have friends of differing viewpoints and faiths, and still show them love, respect, and honor.

We need to recognize that hearts will not be won for Christ through legalistic debate, condemnation, or hate. No, hearts are only won through sharing the love and grace Christ has for us with each another.

Last night one man invited another, giving him the highest honor he could, to speak to his congregation. He did so knowing full well that he would be scrutinized, but I can only fathom a guess, that he believed that his friend's soul was worth it. This other man accepted that honor, and in doing so knew I'm sure of the criticism he would receive on the other end. What both men did, that is radical grace and love.

Who can know a man's heart? Who can see behind the scenes to conversations held in private? Who can say who knows our Lord or not? And in embracing a man in love are we condoning a whole sect? These are questions to me, better left to God. Our job is simply to show His love and through it, the truth.

That's what happened last night. It doesn't mean anyone bent the truth, crossed a line, or decided to endorse a whole other faith. It means we believe in the love and grace we've been shown so much, that we're committed to showing it to others.

In our church, all are welcome.

And that's exactly why I love it.

Why I don't have any New Year's resolutions...

The last two weeks of the year are tricky for most of us.

First there's Christmas and all goodies that come with it; sugar, cookies, cakes (and did I mention more sugar). We gorge ourselves in celebration and then December 26th we vow that on January 1st we'll be better, do better, accomplish whatever it is that we put off, and try to lose the cookie weight we gained during our feasting. In a last-chance-hurrah we try to eat all the sugary substances still lurking in the cabinets because come New Years Day, that'll be history.

But then come work again, things get busy, and that weight you wanted to lose, that book you were meaning to write, that goal to get up extra early for quiet time--- that all goes to hell, excuse the expression.

Someone once said the "definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result." We set ourselves up year after year to do this same dance, and then feel all the more awful afterward. Resolutions are more like re-solutions, our way of trying with all our own mite to solve our own problems, but often our solutions to the problem are worse than the problem itself.

So this year I'm done.

I don't want to focus on my problems. I don't want to focus on striving for one more thing to add to my schedule.

This year my anti-resolution list has one thing on it: Love. I want to continue to fall immeasurably and hopelessly in love with God and others.

I want to run right into His arms and rest there, soaking up love and pouring back out.

I want to live in the moment, knowing every one of them is precious.

I want to dance without caring that I have two left feet just because I can, preferably in the rain!

I want to sit in total silence and hear the world around me.

I want to sit in front of sweet friends and soak up the uniqueness they each possess.

I want to become whatever it is that God wants me to be.

I want to lay down my will for His, because His always works out better than mine.

I don't want to strive one more second for things that aren't valuable because I don't need anything more than I need Him.

I want to put down my to do list and never (or at least not for a good long while) pick it back up.

I want to learn to give myself Grace, so that I can give it to others.

This year, more than anything, I want to put the first things first, knowing all second things will come together if I do.

Won't you join me?

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

What Isaac Newton Can Teach us About God...

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.

Matthew 5:17

It was a nice spring day when Isaac Newton, probably not quite a Sir yet, was sitting underneath an apple tree observing nature. A ripe apple fell from the tree, the story goes, and thus was his inspiration for what he would go on to call "The Law of Gravity." The phrase the Law in this case does not refer to a man-made moral tenant. The Law here refers to something that is undeniably true about our world. If you fall, you will come down...fact. You cannot break the Law of Gravity although it can quite literally break you. Just like any law of science, it does not speak of something that can be broken, but about something true.

When we think of God's Laws, especially in the Old Testament, we think of them as we would our own societal laws---that they can be bent, broken, and manipulated to our benefit or demise. But when God speaks about His laws, He is not giving us something arbitrary to obey or test our will. He is telling us something that's true about our surroundings. The ten commandments weren't given to us as a burden to bare, but as a map to navigate how to live life here.

If we look at the ten commandments with this lens, we might interpret them this way:

1 “You shall have no other gods before me. I am the truth and the life. You can try to find life other places but nobody can give you what I can, and I want the very best for you. (John 14:6)

2 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. Pursue what is true, not what is fake. Those things may make you feel better short term, but that cannot give lasting fulfillment. (Matthew 8:22) 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.Sin is cyclical, it circles around and is passed down through the generations, each generation teaching the other. Life can be passed on to, each generation teaching the other to find it. You choose your own legacy.

3 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. If you misues My Name, you don't really know Me. If you did, you would respect and love the name of the One who gives life. I want a relationship with you! (see Song of Solomon)

4 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. I care about your spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental health and I am telling you, if you deny your body, soul, and spirit the rest it needs, it will be detrimental.(Ps.62:1-2)

5 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. While your parents are far from perfect, they are my children also. Love them, and honor them. If you do not, you may find yourself alone and miserable. Whatever your parents have done, to withold forgiveness and honor is not just hurting them, its hurting you. I don't want that for you. (James 3:14-15)

6 “You shall not murder. Everyone, great or small, rich or poor, righteous or evil, I care about. You are all my children, and to kill one of them is to hurt Me and yourself. To be responsible for the death of another is a burden I never ever want you to carry.

7 “You shall not commit adultery. When you married you came into a covenant relationship. When you dishonor that relationship by sexually sinning, you are not only hurting your spouse, but yourself. Sex is like glue. You cannot keep taking it off and sticking it on somewhere else. If you do, there will come a time when there is nothing left. You will have given yourself away in pieces and find yourself broken. I don't want that for you. (1 Corinthians 6:18)

8 “You shall not steal. I have provided abundantly for you. I am Jehovah Jirah, the God who provides. Find your source in Me. If you do, there is no need to steal.(Matthew 6:25-34)

9 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. Lying is not only harmful to those around you, but to yourself. It can damage your character and your reputation, and one lie ends up feeding into others, and there may come a day where you lie so often you don't know what the truth is yourself. I don't want that for you.(Proverbs 12:19)

10 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Everyone has their own journey to take with Me. Don't look at what your neighbor has. Look to Me for your provision, security, and identity. I know what is absolutely best for you. There will always be someone who has more than you do and focusing on it may have you pining the rest of your life for "things" that don't really provide true life. I don't want that for you, I know where that road leads. Learn to find satisfaction and happiness in the life I've provided you.

His Laws are not in an effort to keep us from fun or entertainment nor are they akin to our own laws. God is not a God who withholds good things from His children, nor is He sadistic or legalistic in His pursuit to get us to "obey" some arbitrary laws, it's simply that He knows what will happen if we violate the Laws He's set forth. Like the Law of Gravity, you cannot break His Laws, nor can they be bent or manipulated for our purposes without consequences.

And while the presence of the God-Man did not change God's Laws, it changed our ability to relate to them, to God and to the world around us. So when He says He came, not to abolish the law but to fulfill it, it makes sense. He did not come to abolish the law--no, far from it. He came to literally fulfill them, to re-established the connection we lost that fateful day in the Garden. To give us the ability to live.

Guest Post: The Porn Trap

Today's guest writer, Amy, is a precious "far away" friend that I met first through the blogosphere and then in real life as she and her husband came to our inner healing conference at Gateway Church. She and her husband are passionate about helping others find the freedom in Christ He came to give us and have helped start their own Freedom Ministry at their church in Pennsylvania. She writes at Walking in Freedom, where her transparency in her own struggles opens the doors for honest conversations about this journey we're all on. Below is an example of her sincere desire to help others walk through things she herself has struggled with.

Pornography.

It's a subject that's normally looked at as a man’s problem. You won't hear much about women who are tempted by or addicted to porn, and while Pornography is such a taboo subject within the church, women being tempted by it seems even more so. More than likely you know a woman who secretly deals with this addiction. Maybe you are one of those women. There are many women striving to follow Jesus who are trapped in the web of pornography and I was once one of them.

A few years back, I found myself trapped in a porn addiction. I was trying everything I could to break free from it, but I just couldn’t. I didn’t know how to. I kept trying and failing. I was following Jesus the best I knew how at the time, but what I didn’t realize was that I truly could not follow Jesus and be looking at porn at the same time (duh!), even if I was trying to stop.

So, how did this happen?

Before I committed my life to Christ, my former husband would rent porn movies, and I unfortunately started watching them with him. 1 Cor. 6:18 says that when you commit a sexual sin, you are committing a sin against your own body. I have experienced the unfortunate truth of this scripture firsthand. I somehow thought it was harmless, not realizing that I was doing damage both to myself and affecting my future in countless ways.

Years later, I gave my life to Christ and married Kevin. Somewhere along the way, I found myself looking at porn online. I was trapped. Despite how degrading porn is towards women, I found myself thinking about it all the time. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't think I could ever tell anyone. I felt so much guilt and shame, crushed under the weight of this secret I was hiding from everyone, especially my husband. I obviously knew God was aware of what was going on, but I just continued each day as if He didn’t. I wanted help, but I just felt too much shame and embarrassment to approach Him.

I have since found that that I am not alone in my former struggle-- up to 17% of those addicted to porn are women. Many of these women are Christians, too. I always thought I was the only one. Part of this trap for women consists of thinking you’re alone in your struggles. If you are caught up in this web of addiction, let me tell you that you are not alone, not even close!

Some women start looking at pornography because of an unmet emotional need. Others look for an escape from their daily lives, or use it to numb themselves from emotional pain. After a while, the reason they started turns into something entirely different and becomes a horrific trap. For me, it started from a place of wanting so desperately to feel some kind of intimacy and while it was false intimacy, it was as close as I could come to feeling the real thing. I didn’t know what true intimacy was.

A huge component of porn is fantasy. It wasn’t until I stopped looking at all the porn that God slowly started to reveal to me the world of sexual fantasy that I had built up in my mind. I honestly didn’t realize how bad it was until God started putting His spotlight on these lustful thoughts I was continually having.

If you are married, or maybe one day will be, let me tell you that this is a huge intimacy killer in a marriage! Not lusting over or fantasizing about someone other than your spouse seems obvious, but for someone who is (or was) trapped in pornography, this is a stronghold that needs to be torn down in order to become sexually whole.

This is not an overnight process, but one that can be completed with God’s help! I am living proof! Once I started to deal with the state of my heart, and all of the junk in it, my compulsion to look at pornography started to subside.

I have not done it perfectly but I am now seeking Jesus for true intimacy and connection, not some ridiculous fantasy I have built up in my mind. Intimacy with Jesus is something that I’m just starting to really experience, and it’s awesome! There’s nothing like it! Pursue intimacy with Him, even if you don’t know exactly what that may look like…and you will be able to tap into something that is much better than any porn “high” can give you.

So, do I still deal with the temptation to look at pornography? Rarely, but I have to be very careful to guard my heart with what I see online and what I think about. This comes as second nature now, but I’ve noticed if I’m feeling particularly lonely, overwhelmed or bored, I need to guard my heart just that much more.

Maybe you're reading this, and you are trapped in the web of pornography. I call it a web, because once you start it's so easy to get tangled up in it, unable to get out - despite your best efforts and desire to stop. I encourage you to confess this to someone, to reach out. When sins are no longer hidden, the power they have over you starts to subside. Talk to your pastor, Christian counselor or mature a Christian friend if you're able to. Sometimes it's even easier to talk with someone you don't know as well like a trained counselor.

God loves you and will help you make the necessary changes in your life. Talk to Him about your struggles. He already knows about them, anyway! He’s not looking at you and pointing His finger. God does not expect perfection from us, but He does expect us to follow Him and turn our back on sin. Don’t let shame, fear, guilt and condemnation keep you in bondage.

There is no mess or bondage in your life that is too big for Him to fix. It’s not too late for you! He’s holding His arms out to you and waiting for you to turn this over to Him. Don’t wait one more day. Freedom is just around the corner, if you're willing to take the journey!

_________________________________________________________________

Some statistics about women and pornography:

* 17% of all women struggle with porn addiction

* 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women

* 9.4 million women access adult websites every month

From the Internet Filter Review

Grace for the Grinch

People of the Second Chance posts topic blogs on who we'd give a second chance to. It's a radical movement on giving grace to those that may not necessarily deserve it (who does?) But this post is altogether different because...

Today I'm the Grinch who needs grace.

It'd been a long morning and my lunch break was spent fighting the traffic and lines to get to the Post Office and buy a few small presents more for Christmas. I needed lunch so I stopped at a sandwhich place

The line was long and clearly they were swamped. The workers rushed around and I stood at the counter five minutes (at least it seemed like five minutes) before anyone noticed me to take my order. *Huff* Annoyed I spouted what I wanted to the timid worker who wished me a "Happy Holidays," rolling my eyes as I complained about the wait.

Twenty minutes went by (this time I timed it) as I sat waiting for my to-go order. I noticed two workers on lunch break, casually chatting away as eight or nine other customers looked just as grinchy as me, clearly frustrated at the wait.

Finally, I snapped. I went to the store manager and proceeded to, in no uncertain terms, point out his two workers on break, and the eight angry customers (besides me) and demanded that I either get my sandwhich or he make it free.

Yah, not my best moment.

My grinchyness started a chain reaction and two other customers also demanded their order or a refund. Then two more, until that poor manager looked like he was going to cry.

Was that really necessary??

That God-voice, the one that convicts got to me. As I paid for my sandwhich I apologized to the manager for what I'd said. I told him I knew they were busy and understood his position. He of course said it was fine, but I sure didn't feel fine. I felt awful for what I'd done, and at the same time thankful for God's grace in the moment.

Driving back, the traffic was just as bad, if not worse and my nerves were still on edge. A driver cut me off, my bumper almost grazing his. But I wasn't going to keep giving in to my frustration. Instead I waved. I smiled. I carried on.

Grace.

Ephesians 4:32 (The Message) Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, and profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

The People who walk in darkness...

Deep in the caves of the Dinaric karst of Southern Europe lives a wonderous creature. Rarely seen by the human eye, it's known as the Slovenian or the "white" saladmander. It dwells in the underground waters that flow from Italy through Slovenia and Croatia, surviving on whatever small creatures come its way. It lives in complete darkness but has paid a dear price for the ability to thrive there....it's sight. It takes generations for an adaption like this to develop, each generation growing more and more accustomed to the darkness. Each generation losing more of it's ability to see, until eventually, there is no need for eyes at all.

Adam and Eve lived in a world where they saw things in a way that seems foreign to us now. They walked and talked with the Lord Himself (can you even imagine, they "saw" God in a tangible reach-out-and-touch-Him way), they saw "life" growing on trees, those intangible spiritual concepts were able to be recognized by their senses.....their world looked much different than the one we live in now. But their choice to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil changed all of that, and not just for the reasons we think.

They disobeyed God, but their choice goes much deeper than that. It was a choice between worlds, to dwell in knowledge rather than life, to rely on what we know in the natural , and to live in spiritual darkness. No longer could they see life growing on trees, or see and talk with the Creator of the Universe. They were banished not just from the Garden, but from a way of seeing and interacting with the world.

Darkness spread. From generation to generation our spiritual sight dwindled until there was no need for eyes at all. We grew accustomed to the darkness until we could no longer remember the light.

But God had a plan, mercy for a dark and hurting world in the form of a tiny baby boy, born through blood and dirt in a tiny cave by a scared teenage mother. God in human form, crying in a manager; the child who would eventually lead the battlecry back into the light.

In life he healed the physically blind, and challenged the modern day perceptions of the world, challenging all to think differently. In dying He took our punishment and then conquered death itself, making it possible for us to do so too.

Born-again is not just a Christianese term for those who believe in Jesus. It's a choice, to stop living by knowledge and choose life. It's a re-birth into a whole new world. It's a shift in how we view and interact with everything around us, a step back into the light to regain our sight.

That's the point to the Christmas story. It's the beginning of an epic saga that changed the world, and it's still happening all around us. We just have to look and see.

The people who walk in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.
Isaiah 9: 2

What's wrong with me?

The truth is, your emotions will not lie to you. Your emotions will, in fact, always tell you the truth about what you believe.

~Bob Hamp

It started at 3am. I woke up in a panic, thoughts swirling in my head. They were nasty, mean thoughts; You're ugly, you're worthless, you can't do anything right! They came so fast I could barely brace myself through the wave of despair and hopelessness that seemed to encompass me there in my bed. Prayer helped and eventually the thoughts and the heavy feelings passed.

But the aftermath was worse. I felt..... condemned. I was a Christian, filled by His presence and yet I had felt this wave of heavy thoughts. What was wrong with me? What was wrong with my faith? How could I feel this way? Was this an attack of the enemy? Was I simply mental?

These were the questions I took to a trusted friend. As I described my feelings and the condemnation I felt, she looked at me kindly and simply said, "Every emotion has a purpose."

Well, huh. I'd never really thought about it that way.

My first reaction was to blame. Blame myself. Blame the enemy. But I never stopped to ask myself or God why I might be feeling this way. So, that's what we did, my friend and I. We asked God and shock of all shockers? He had an answer.

Emotions are like that pain in your knee that you can't seem to get rid of. That pain tells you "Danger! Danger! There's something wrong here!" Your body is warning you that all is not well.

Your emotions in turn do a similar service. They are the warning device that tells you all is not well with your soul. Instead of turning towards blame or a coping mechanism, we can turn to God for a little heart surgery. Turning to God can help us demolish strongholds and lies that we've come to believe and instill the truth about how He sees us.

So next time you're feeling something, instead of asking yourself "What's wrong with me?" remember to stop, pause, and listen to your emotions because they are a road sign saying "Danger! Trouble ahead!"

Then simply take them to the One Person who can help you sort it all out.