Journey to Beauty

Guerilla Warfare

2012-02-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

She sits in the mirror silently touching the lines in her face, that sag under her eyes, the freckles she's loathed since she was little.

You're ugly. Nobody will ever love you. You are worthless.

He sits in the unemployment line contemplating what he'll tell his wife this time, how he'll meet the eyes of his two precious children when he gets home.

You have no purpose. You are nothing. You are useless. Give up now.

He finds himself once more at the computer screen. The women he looks at cannot love him back and he finds himself disgusted and helpless. He can't stop himself and with each look, he feels a piece of himself dying.

You are too messed up, you might as well keep going.

The enemy doesn't fight fair. He is not a front-lines-kind-of-guy, rather sticking to the shadows, darting in and out, a whispering cloud of cowardice.

And he's got his strategy down pat; take you out before you're even in the game, make you believe that you are worthless, coaxing you gently to lay down your will.

His tactics are not obvious. His voice sounds like your own. You would recognize an obvious affront so he stays hidden, slyly influencing.He prefers guerrilla warfare, hiding amongst your own thoughts, finding your weakness and attacking just there.

The thing about the enemy is that he has no real power except that which we give to him. He has no real authority lest we hand ours over. His only power is in tempting us to agree with him. He'll whisper lies, fabricate evidence to support them, and do all in his power to make you believe what you hear.

The battle we fight is the one that is waged in our minds, and for our hearts. This is the most important battle you will ever fight, and you're in it already whether you want to be or not. There is a war waging for you because your heart is that important. You are important, you matter, and you have a destiny that makes the enemy shake in his boots!

You are princes and princesses, daughters and sons, whose Father has already won the war.

All you need to do is remember who you are.

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
Ephesians Chapter 6

The Benefits of Social Media

2012-02-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

We're closer than we've ever been to each other. We can read blogs written in Cambodia, or receive tweets from Australia. We can keep up with friends near and far simply by checking their facebook. We can rally for causes like sex trafficking and garner awareness simply by suggesting a page to a friend. We are increasingly a global community, all thanks to social networking.

And yet countless sermons and articles have come out warning us about globalization, about social networking, and about the times we seem live in. Phrases like one world government and end time prophesies are being thrown about in both fear and hope. (I prefer the hope part)

I read an article the other day from a conservative Christian magazine demonizing social media as if it were in itself responsible for the downfall of civilization as we know it. I couldn't help but think that by following this theology, we're missing a great opportunity for God's Kingdom, opportunities to fulfill the Great Commission and to reach millions more with a click of a button.

1. Social Media gives us an opportunity to read and tell our stories. When it comes to learning, we tend to receive best through stories. The Old Testament is filled with stories of loss, love, and triumph. Our hearts rally to the cause of the hero and cheer on the underdog. We need each others stories of God's triumph in our lives, testimonies that God still works the same today that He did 2,000+ years ago.

2. It helps raise awareness. Thirty years ago people rallied for causes through protests and letters. Today we can help give a voice to the voiceless with simply a click of a button. One tweet or update can reach thousands (and even millions) more than any letter could have. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy..(Proverbs 31:8-9, NIV).

3. It helps us know what to pray for. Voice of the Martyrs is an organization close to my heart as they spread awareness about those who suffer persecution. I can pray for a Pastor of an underground church in China, a Christian missionary in Afghanistan, a woman serving on a Mercy ship docked in Africa, or an imprisoned church member in Laos. Social media is one of the most often overlooked but valuable prayer tools available to us.

4. It gives us perspective. It's easy to get caught up in our own small worlds but when we hear about seven year olds trapped in the sex trade, or families surviving on less than $1 a day, or special needs children in India who are cast aside and abandoned.....you begin to realize that it's not all about you.

5. It gives us hope. Never before have we had access to so many testimonies, encouraging words, and teaching opportunities. God has gifted many Christian leaders with the ability to teach, uplift, and encourage us in just one sentence. It's like having a ring of virtual cheerleaders around us all the time, spurring us on to live the life God wants us to.

6. It helps us fulfill the Great Commission. There is no doubt in my mind that we sit on the precipice of what may be the "end times," because never before have we had the resources and tools to fulfill the Great Commission as we do right now. The world is getting smaller, and with these tools, our arms a little longer.

Let's put it this way... if God can use a donkey to fulfill His purposes, he can use Mark Zuckerberg and Jack Dorsey too. Social networking is an opportunity to reach out into a world we never could have touched before, if we use it wisely.

Trials

2012-02-03T15:28:00.000-08:00

James 1: 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

There are a lot of things I can find joy in; relationships, worship, teaching, art, books, friends, and food....but trials? That's just hard to get excited about.

It reminds me of my second grade teacher who tried desperately to help us find joy in chores. "You get the honor of cleaning the underside of the desks, isn't that exciting?" Needless to say, she was unable to capture our hearts with petrified gum, which is really just as exciting as trials. We all have them, we all suffer through them, but we aren't exactly joy-filled about them.

The kicker is this. God doesn't just say joy but pure joy! The word used here for joy is the Greek word "xara," which can also mean with gladness or rejoicing. Rejoice when you go through trials! Be glad! Be joyous!

How do we do that? How do we go through trials, tribulations, and persecution with joy not simply on our face, but in our hearts?

2 Corinthians 1 gives us a clue:

^8-11We don't want you in the dark, friends, about how hard it was when all this came down on us in Asia province. It was so bad we didn't think we were going to make it. We felt like we'd been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally—not a bad idea since he's the God who raises the dead! And he did it, rescued us from certain doom. And he'll do it again, rescuing us as many times as we need rescuing. (MSG)

This is Paul's letter to the Church at Corinth, in which he describes a period of their stay in Asia that was difficult. Imprisonment and death followed them there and victory seemed impossible. But Paul tells them that instead of being the worst thing he'd experienced, it turned out to be the best, forcing him to rely on the Lord instead of himself. Did you hear the message in that? It isn't on us!

Maybe we could re-word this verse:

Rejoice when you go through trials of many kinds, because this is an opportunity to see God's power and favor and grow in faith and the love of Christ!

Trials are an opportunity to see God at work! Trials do not hinder God's work, but spur it along, because God always comes through. The battle is the Lord's.

Joseph stood on God's promise through slavery and slander, Isaac through sacrifice, Paul through imprisonment, ship wrecks, and torture, Daniel in the lion's den.....these men knew God, and knew the joy of stepping back and watching Him work.

Rest assured God can take our disappointment, our heart ache, our tears. Jesus wept. We're not talking about smiling through the dark valleys here. No fake facades! It's about that deeper joy, the one that resonates regardless of tears or laughter.

That joy that no one can take away, the joy of knowing the ending (victory) in the beginning.

Psalm 45:15 They are led in with joy and gladness. They enter the palace of the king.

::Comparison:: The joy thief

2012-01-26T19:27:00.000-08:00

In middle school all the girls were wearing steel toed Doc Martens and colored ribbons tied in their hair. And yes, together. It was like prepster meets grunge and it was all the rage. I on the other hand lacked these wardrobe essentials, at least for this year. Doc Martens were expensive and impractical to an adolescent school girl and my parents didn't think they were a necessity unless they finally cashed in on their threats to send me to military school.

But girls are cruel, especially at that age. I got teased for my lack of proper footwear and hair adornments, among other things. I tried to fit in, buying Doc Marten knockoffs, wearing scantily tied ribbons, and even spray tanning (my white skin had an aversion to turning brown naturally..it rather preferred red), but all that ever came of it was the "orange" disaster of 1998 that I'd still rather not talk about.

I got the message that year loud and clear. Being me just isn't good enough.

I spent the better part of the next ten years comparing myself to every girl I met, torturing myself with the "is-she's." Is she better than me? Is she prettier than me? Is she smarter than me?

And then one day, God whacked me out of my misery.

There will always be someone better than you.

Okay...ouch. This wasn't turning in to the pep talk I'd hoped for and I wasn't sure where it was going.

There will always be someone better than you, if you continue to believe there IS a better...

Uh....**confused look**

Who decides what's better or not?

Huh. Good question. Was it the girls in school? The ones in the magazines with adobe as their secret weapon? The men gawking at those magazines? Was it my parents, or their parents, or other people's parents? Or some fashion designer (whose name I can't quite pronounce)?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that God doesn't like cookie cutter creatures. Nature attests to this. There are literally millions of different organisms on planet Earth, each of them unique from bacteria to birds. No, this God loves diversity.

So why was I striving for uniformity?

Comparison is a thief, particularly of two things; time and joy. Wasted moments and missed opportunities lie in it's path. How much time (and head space) is spent on thoughts about others? How many opportunities are missed as we focus on other's journeys instead of our own? And how much joy is stolen at thinking about those who may (or may not be) "better" than us?

Jeremiah 18:4, Isaiah 45:9, and Isaiah 29:16 speak of God as potter and of us as clay, pottery shards, fancified mud! Any potter will tell you that there is no bowl, pot, or vase that is exactly alike and yet they are all crafted from the same loving artist.

How silly that we think we could be the judge of good or bad, better or worse! How foolish to think that we can make a judgement about someone else's life without really knowing them at all. If we knew, if we really knew someone else's life, would we trade with them? I don't think so. And how senseless to think that we, the clay, could tell the Potter His work is sub-parr...at least on this particular vessel.

Comparison is a thief and a liar, one that will continue to rob us daily of joy, time, focus, and most importantly truth. The truth is that you were created with love, carefully, for a purpose. Best of all, you are one-of-a-kind, and you also have a one-of-a-kind journey. One laid out just and only for you. If you focus on other's accomplishments and turn your eye to their journey, you may just risk missing your own.

Don't let comparison steal one more thing from you. Don't believe the lie that being you isn't good enough. In fact being "you" is the ultimate goal!

And please, don't use those self tanning lotions or sprays. Trust me on that one. ;-)

When God is not a gentleman...

2012-01-19T16:45:00.000-08:00

Religion is man searching for God, Christianity is God searching for Man.

~Jefferson Bethke

In bible college I chose to attend probably the most charismatic of churches I'd ever been to. 'Slain in the spirit' and 'speaking in tongues' (loudly I might add) were always part of the service, but for those too timid, or simply downright terrified, our Pastor had a saying; God is a gentleman. It was his way of saying 'don't worry, He won't make you do anything you're uncomfortable with.'

So, for a long time I pictured a kindly old man, wise but soft spoken. If you walked away from Him, He simply waited,where He always had been, like the Father in the prodigal son story. I liked this God. I needed gentle. My war torn heart cried out for a Father who wasn't pushy.

But as my heart healed I noticed something, small at first, but important none-the-less. It happened at a time in my life where I was running from something God had called me to. I knew He'd called me to it, but I didn't want to deal with it. I didn't want to hear about it. And so, in stubborn fashion I ignored the softly spoken invitations. But God didn't stop there. People gave me prophetic words, asked about it, and I began to see it everywhere. (He seems to deal with me alot like this! )

God was not going to let me run this time.

When you read the Song of Songs you get a very different view of God. A God who pursues us relentlessly. This isn't the wise old man waiting patiently in the background. This is a radical, trail blazing, heart pursuing God who doesn't give up on His creation!

Song of Songs 2:14 My dove in the clefts of the rock, in
the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let
me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is
lovely. 15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin
the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

My stubborness needs this God, the one that conks me on the head over and over until I see the light, who continues to speak when I won't listen. This is a God who isn't a gentleman in the traditional sense of the word. This is a Radical Lover who never leaves me in my muck!

This is what I love most about God, His multi-facetedness. You cannot put Him in a box, nor pigeon hole His character. His is this and that, and everything in between because He deals with each of us as individiuals. He knows our strengths, our weaknesses, and our hang-ups, and He pursues each of us differently because of that.

He is a gentleman, He is a zelous and wild lover, and yet He is so much more, calling each one of us into a relationship with Him that promises to be anything but boring.

More than my mistakes...

2012-01-12T08:10:00.000-08:00

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" My husband eyed me patiently.

"Nothing." But that wasn't true. I sat on the top of the stairs in our new apartment, thoughts swirling around in my head, tears just on the verge of spilling over.

In fact that nothing that was something, was actually something big. I just couldn't quite put it into words. From 2009 to this January my husband and I had become full-time caregivers (on top of full-time work) to my grandmother. We'd tried our best to help her rehabilitate, but that was just one of my motives. I wanted our relationship rehabilitated too.

My Nonna is a great woman, but our relationship was almost always strained. Her blunt comments pierced my tiny sensitive heart as a child. There were labels that came out of that (fat, unworthy) and wounds that gaped open for years. Secretly, the little girl in me felt that if I could become 'of use' to her, maybe, just maybe, I'd finally please her.

In November of 2011 it became clear that not only could I not please her, but it simply wasn't my job too. And yet, I couldn't help this nagging feeling inside that I'd somehow failed both myself and her by leaving. She was healthy enough now to live on her own with help from other family members, but I still felt guilty. Guilty that I couldn't mend our relationship, guilty of not being able to let go, guilty of feeling like I'd wasted two years of mine, but worse, my husband's time. My perceived mistakes were haunting me, taunting me, and making me miserable.

But that still small voice whispered gently:

You are not your mistakes....

Right, God. I get it...nothing but the blood.

No, YOU are not you're mistakes. You are not your issues. You are mine.

Tears flowed down my cheeks now as I finally understood what He was telling me. That my identity had nothing to do with what I did (or did not) do, and everything to do with Him. My one New Year's Resolution had been to love God more, and as a result, people. It had never occurred to me that I had to love, forgive, and give grace to myself first. Or rather, accept the love, forgivness, and grace I've been given by the One that matters most.

I'm committed to giving others second chances and standing with People of The Second Chance to do so, but this year, I'm finally giving one to myself.

Because He says I'm worth it.

Why I love my church....

2012-01-05T07:00:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched as Glenn Beck (a Mormon) opened for our own Pastor Robert Morris on the last night of our "First Under God" Conference. Gateway is an evangelical, non-denominational church but make no mistake--while the slogan is "we're all about people," we're also all about truth too. Week after week Pastor Robert preaches challenging sermons, the first to draw a line in the sand.

And yet Pastor Robert chose a self proclaimed Mormon to speak at our pulpit, a pulpit that has 20,000 members in our regular weekend services, at a conference that had even more viewers through live broadcasting and DayStar TV. And if there was any question about his affiliation, his speech confirmed that with references to the Mormon tabernacle choir and his baptism into the Mormon church.

It wasn't an hour later that the criticisms hit twitter, facebook, and the local water cooler. Questions flooded in from concerned members and viewers alike. Is Glenn Beck really a Christian? Was his speech sincere? Is the Jesus he knows, the same one we believe in? What is Gateway's affiliation with the Mormon Church? Is Gateway endorsing the Mormon Church? What kind of message does this send about absolute truth? What message did Mormons who came to hear Glenn Beck come away with?

Valid concerns, all of them. But really, not the point.

What we witnessed last night is something rare in our world. So rare in fact, that when we do see it, we don't always recognize what it is. Two men stood in front of us of differing viewpoints, calling themselves friends devoid of any ulterior motives other than love. Because of this love and respect, they can disagree and still come away feeling that same brotherly love they started out with.

People are no longer taught how to lovingly disagree with others while holding their own beliefs true. Others go the opposite direction, confusing tolerance with love and grace. What we see in the media and even in our own churches is division and judgment. The church itself has split off into hundreds of denominations, disagreeing on doctrines both big and small, all in the name of being 'right'. It is a rare person now that can do what they have done, who can have friends of differing viewpoints and faiths, and still show them love, respect, and honor.

We need to recognize that hearts will not be won for Christ through legalistic debate, condemnation, or hate. No, hearts are only won through sharing the love and grace Christ has for us with each another.

Last night one man invited another, giving him the highest honor he could, to speak to his congregation. He did so knowing full well that he would be scrutinized, but I can only fathom a guess, that he believed that his friend's soul was worth it. This other man accepted that honor, and in doing so knew I'm sure of the criticism he would receive on the other end. What both men did, that is radical grace and love.

Who can know a man's heart? Who can see behind the scenes to conversations held in private? Who can say who knows our Lord or not? And in embracing a man in love are we condoning a whole sect? These are questions to me, better left to God. Our job is simply to show His love and through it, the truth.

That's what happened last night. It doesn't mean anyone bent the truth, crossed a line, or decided to endorse a whole other faith. It means we believe in the love and grace we've been shown so much, that we're committed to showing it to others.

In our church, all are welcome.

And that's exactly why I love it.

Why I don't have any New Year's resolutions...

2011-12-31T12:38:00.000-08:00

The last two weeks of the year are tricky for most of us.

First there's Christmas and all goodies that come with it; sugar, cookies, cakes (and did I mention more sugar). We gorge ourselves in celebration and then December 26th we vow that on January 1st we'll be better, do better, accomplish whatever it is that we put off, and try to lose the cookie weight we gained during our feasting. In a last-chance-hurrah we try to eat all the sugary substances still lurking in the cabinets because come New Years Day, that'll be history.

But then come work again, things get busy, and that weight you wanted to lose, that book you were meaning to write, that goal to get up extra early for quiet time--- that all goes to hell, excuse the expression.

Someone once said the "definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result." We set ourselves up year after year to do this same dance, and then feel all the more awful afterward. Resolutions are more like re-solutions, our way of trying with all our own mite to solve our own problems, but often our solutions to the problem are worse than the problem itself.

So this year I'm done.

I don't want to focus on my problems. I don't want to focus on striving for one more thing to add to my schedule.

This year my anti-resolution list has one thing on it: Love. I want to continue to fall immeasurably and hopelessly in love with God and others.

I want to run right into His arms and rest there, soaking up love and pouring back out.

I want to live in the moment, knowing every one of them is precious.

I want to dance without caring that I have two left feet just because I can, preferably in the rain!

I want to sit in total silence and hear the world around me.

I want to sit in front of sweet friends and soak up the uniqueness they each possess.

I want to become whatever it is that God wants me to be.

I want to lay down my will for His, because His always works out better than mine.

I don't want to strive one more second for things that aren't valuable because I don't need anything more than I need Him.

I want to put down my to do list and never (or at least not for a good long while) pick it back up.

I want to learn to give myself Grace, so that I can give it to others.

This year, more than anything, I want to put the first things first, knowing all second things will come together if I do.

Won't you join me?

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

What Isaac Newton Can Teach us About God...

2011-12-28T08:37:00.000-08:00

Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.

Matthew 5:17

It was a nice spring day when Isaac Newton, probably not quite a Sir yet, was sitting underneath an apple tree observing nature. A ripe apple fell from the tree, the story goes, and thus was his inspiration for what he would go on to call "The Law of Gravity." The phrase the Law in this case does not refer to a man-made moral tenant. The Law here refers to something that is undeniably true about our world. If you fall, you will come down...fact. You cannot break the Law of Gravity although it can quite literally break you. Just like any law of science, it does not speak of something that can be broken, but about something true.

When we think of God's Laws, especially in the Old Testament, we think of them as we would our own societal laws---that they can be bent, broken, and manipulated to our benefit or demise. But when God speaks about His laws, He is not giving us something arbitrary to obey or test our will. He is telling us something that's true about our surroundings. The ten commandments weren't given to us as a burden to bare, but as a map to navigate how to live life here.

If we look at the ten commandments with this lens, we might interpret them this way:

1 “You shall have no other gods before me. I am the truth and the life. You can try to find life other places but nobody can give you what I can, and I want the very best for you. (John 14:6)

2 “You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. Pursue what is true, not what is fake. Those things may make you feel better short term, but that cannot give lasting fulfillment. (Matthew 8:22) 5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, 6 but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.Sin is cyclical, it circles around and is passed down through the generations, each generation teaching the other. Life can be passed on to, each generation teaching the other to find it. You choose your own legacy.

3 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. If you misues My Name, you don't really know Me. If you did, you would respect and love the name of the One who gives life. I want a relationship with you! (see Song of Solomon)

4 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. 11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. I care about your spiritual, physical, emotional, and mental health and I am telling you, if you deny your body, soul, and spirit the rest it needs, it will be detrimental.(Ps.62:1-2)

5 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you. While your parents are far from perfect, they are my children also. Love them, and honor them. If you do not, you may find yourself alone and miserable. Whatever your parents have done, to withold forgiveness and honor is not just hurting them, its hurting you. I don't want that for you. (James 3:14-15)

6 “You shall not murder. Everyone, great or small, rich or poor, righteous or evil, I care about. You are all my children, and to kill one of them is to hurt Me and yourself. To be responsible for the death of another is a burden I never ever want you to carry.

7 “You shall not commit adultery. When you married you came into a covenant relationship. When you dishonor that relationship by sexually sinning, you are not only hurting your spouse, but yourself. Sex is like glue. You cannot keep taking it off and sticking it on somewhere else. If you do, there will come a time when there is nothing left. You will have given yourself away in pieces and find yourself broken. I don't want that for you. (1 Corinthians 6:18)

8 “You shall not steal. I have provided abundantly for you. I am Jehovah Jirah, the God who provides. Find your source in Me. If you do, there is no need to steal.(Matthew 6:25-34)

9 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. Lying is not only harmful to those around you, but to yourself. It can damage your character and your reputation, and one lie ends up feeding into others, and there may come a day where you lie so often you don't know what the truth is yourself. I don't want that for you.(Proverbs 12:19)

10 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” Everyone has their own journey to take with Me. Don't look at what your neighbor has. Look to Me for your provision, security, and identity. I know what is absolutely best for you. There will always be someone who has more than you do and focusing on it may have you pining the rest of your life for "things" that don't really provide true life. I don't want that for you, I know where that road leads. Learn to find satisfaction and happiness in the life I've provided you.

His Laws are not in an effort to keep us from fun or entertainment nor are they akin to our own laws. God is not a God who withholds good things from His children, nor is He sadistic or legalistic in His pursuit to get us to "obey" some arbitrary laws, it's simply that He knows what will happen if we violate the Laws He's set forth. Like the Law of Gravity, you cannot break His Laws, nor can they be bent or manipulated for our purposes without consequences.

And while the presence of the God-Man did not change God's Laws, it changed our ability to relate to them, to God and to the world around us. So when He says He came, not to abolish the law but to fulfill it, it makes sense. He did not come to abolish the law--no, far from it. He came to literally fulfill them, to re-established the connection we lost that fateful day in the Garden. To give us the ability to live.

Guest Post: The Porn Trap

2011-12-27T12:03:00.001-08:00

Today's guest writer, Amy, is a precious "far away" friend that I met first through the blogosphere and then in real life as she and her husband came to our inner healing conference at Gateway Church. She and her husband are passionate about helping others find the freedom in Christ He came to give us and have helped start their own Freedom Ministry at their church in Pennsylvania. She writes at Walking in Freedom, where her transparency in her own struggles opens the doors for honest conversations about this journey we're all on. Below is an example of her sincere desire to help others walk through things she herself has struggled with.

Pornography.

It's a subject that's normally looked at as a man’s problem. You won't hear much about women who are tempted by or addicted to porn, and while Pornography is such a taboo subject within the church, women being tempted by it seems even more so. More than likely you know a woman who secretly deals with this addiction. Maybe you are one of those women. There are many women striving to follow Jesus who are trapped in the web of pornography and I was once one of them.

A few years back, I found myself trapped in a porn addiction. I was trying everything I could to break free from it, but I just couldn’t. I didn’t know how to. I kept trying and failing. I was following Jesus the best I knew how at the time, but what I didn’t realize was that I truly could not follow Jesus and be looking at porn at the same time (duh!), even if I was trying to stop.

So, how did this happen?

Before I committed my life to Christ, my former husband would rent porn movies, and I unfortunately started watching them with him. 1 Cor. 6:18 says that when you commit a sexual sin, you are committing a sin against your own body. I have experienced the unfortunate truth of this scripture firsthand. I somehow thought it was harmless, not realizing that I was doing damage both to myself and affecting my future in countless ways.

Years later, I gave my life to Christ and married Kevin. Somewhere along the way, I found myself looking at porn online. I was trapped. Despite how degrading porn is towards women, I found myself thinking about it all the time. I didn't know what to do, and I didn't think I could ever tell anyone. I felt so much guilt and shame, crushed under the weight of this secret I was hiding from everyone, especially my husband. I obviously knew God was aware of what was going on, but I just continued each day as if He didn’t. I wanted help, but I just felt too much shame and embarrassment to approach Him.

I have since found that that I am not alone in my former struggle-- up to 17% of those addicted to porn are women. Many of these women are Christians, too. I always thought I was the only one. Part of this trap for women consists of thinking you’re alone in your struggles. If you are caught up in this web of addiction, let me tell you that you are not alone, not even close!

Some women start looking at pornography because of an unmet emotional need. Others look for an escape from their daily lives, or use it to numb themselves from emotional pain. After a while, the reason they started turns into something entirely different and becomes a horrific trap. For me, it started from a place of wanting so desperately to feel some kind of intimacy and while it was false intimacy, it was as close as I could come to feeling the real thing. I didn’t know what true intimacy was.

A huge component of porn is fantasy. It wasn’t until I stopped looking at all the porn that God slowly started to reveal to me the world of sexual fantasy that I had built up in my mind. I honestly didn’t realize how bad it was until God started putting His spotlight on these lustful thoughts I was continually having.

If you are married, or maybe one day will be, let me tell you that this is a huge intimacy killer in a marriage! Not lusting over or fantasizing about someone other than your spouse seems obvious, but for someone who is (or was) trapped in pornography, this is a stronghold that needs to be torn down in order to become sexually whole.

This is not an overnight process, but one that can be completed with God’s help! I am living proof! Once I started to deal with the state of my heart, and all of the junk in it, my compulsion to look at pornography started to subside.

I have not done it perfectly but I am now seeking Jesus for true intimacy and connection, not some ridiculous fantasy I have built up in my mind. Intimacy with Jesus is something that I’m just starting to really experience, and it’s awesome! There’s nothing like it! Pursue intimacy with Him, even if you don’t know exactly what that may look like…and you will be able to tap into something that is much better than any porn “high” can give you.

So, do I still deal with the temptation to look at pornography? Rarely, but I have to be very careful to guard my heart with what I see online and what I think about. This comes as second nature now, but I’ve noticed if I’m feeling particularly lonely, overwhelmed or bored, I need to guard my heart just that much more.

Maybe you're reading this, and you are trapped in the web of pornography. I call it a web, because once you start it's so easy to get tangled up in it, unable to get out - despite your best efforts and desire to stop. I encourage you to confess this to someone, to reach out. When sins are no longer hidden, the power they have over you starts to subside. Talk to your pastor, Christian counselor or mature a Christian friend if you're able to. Sometimes it's even easier to talk with someone you don't know as well like a trained counselor.

God loves you and will help you make the necessary changes in your life. Talk to Him about your struggles. He already knows about them, anyway! He’s not looking at you and pointing His finger. God does not expect perfection from us, but He does expect us to follow Him and turn our back on sin. Don’t let shame, fear, guilt and condemnation keep you in bondage.

There is no mess or bondage in your life that is too big for Him to fix. It’s not too late for you! He’s holding His arms out to you and waiting for you to turn this over to Him. Don’t wait one more day. Freedom is just around the corner, if you're willing to take the journey!

_________________________________________________________________

Some statistics about women and pornography:

* 17% of all women struggle with porn addiction

* 1 of 3 visitors to all adult websites are women

* 9.4 million women access adult websites every month

From the Internet Filter Review

Grace for the Grinch

2011-12-22T12:14:00.001-08:00

People of the Second Chance posts topic blogs on who we'd give a second chance to. It's a radical movement on giving grace to those that may not necessarily deserve it (who does?) But this post is altogether different because...

Today I'm the Grinch who needs grace.

It'd been a long morning and my lunch break was spent fighting the traffic and lines to get to the Post Office and buy a few small presents more for Christmas. I needed lunch so I stopped at a sandwhich place

The line was long and clearly they were swamped. The workers rushed around and I stood at the counter five minutes (at least it seemed like five minutes) before anyone noticed me to take my order. *Huff* Annoyed I spouted what I wanted to the timid worker who wished me a "Happy Holidays," rolling my eyes as I complained about the wait.

Twenty minutes went by (this time I timed it) as I sat waiting for my to-go order. I noticed two workers on lunch break, casually chatting away as eight or nine other customers looked just as grinchy as me, clearly frustrated at the wait.

Finally, I snapped. I went to the store manager and proceeded to, in no uncertain terms, point out his two workers on break, and the eight angry customers (besides me) and demanded that I either get my sandwhich or he make it free.

Yah, not my best moment.

My grinchyness started a chain reaction and two other customers also demanded their order or a refund. Then two more, until that poor manager looked like he was going to cry.

Was that really necessary??

That God-voice, the one that convicts got to me. As I paid for my sandwhich I apologized to the manager for what I'd said. I told him I knew they were busy and understood his position. He of course said it was fine, but I sure didn't feel fine. I felt awful for what I'd done, and at the same time thankful for God's grace in the moment.

Driving back, the traffic was just as bad, if not worse and my nerves were still on edge. A driver cut me off, my bumper almost grazing his. But I wasn't going to keep giving in to my frustration. Instead I waved. I smiled. I carried on.

Grace.

Ephesians 4:32 (The Message) Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, and profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you.

The People who walk in darkness...

2011-12-21T08:41:00.001-08:00

Deep in the caves of the Dinaric karst of Southern Europe lives a wonderous creature. Rarely seen by the human eye, it's known as the Slovenian or the "white" saladmander. It dwells in the underground waters that flow from Italy through Slovenia and Croatia, surviving on whatever small creatures come its way. It lives in complete darkness but has paid a dear price for the ability to thrive there....it's sight. It takes generations for an adaption like this to develop, each generation growing more and more accustomed to the darkness. Each generation losing more of it's ability to see, until eventually, there is no need for eyes at all.

Adam and Eve lived in a world where they saw things in a way that seems foreign to us now. They walked and talked with the Lord Himself (can you even imagine, they "saw" God in a tangible reach-out-and-touch-Him way), they saw "life" growing on trees, those intangible spiritual concepts were able to be recognized by their senses.....their world looked much different than the one we live in now. But their choice to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil changed all of that, and not just for the reasons we think.

They disobeyed God, but their choice goes much deeper than that. It was a choice between worlds, to dwell in knowledge rather than life, to rely on what we know in the natural , and to live in spiritual darkness. No longer could they see life growing on trees, or see and talk with the Creator of the Universe. They were banished not just from the Garden, but from a way of seeing and interacting with the world.

Darkness spread. From generation to generation our spiritual sight dwindled until there was no need for eyes at all. We grew accustomed to the darkness until we could no longer remember the light.

But God had a plan, mercy for a dark and hurting world in the form of a tiny baby boy, born through blood and dirt in a tiny cave by a scared teenage mother. God in human form, crying in a manager; the child who would eventually lead the battlecry back into the light.

In life he healed the physically blind, and challenged the modern day perceptions of the world, challenging all to think differently. In dying He took our punishment and then conquered death itself, making it possible for us to do so too.

Born-again is not just a Christianese term for those who believe in Jesus. It's a choice, to stop living by knowledge and choose life. It's a re-birth into a whole new world. It's a shift in how we view and interact with everything around us, a step back into the light to regain our sight.

That's the point to the Christmas story. It's the beginning of an epic saga that changed the world, and it's still happening all around us. We just have to look and see.

The people who walk in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.
Isaiah 9: 2

What's wrong with me?

2011-12-15T16:08:00.000-08:00

The truth is, your emotions will not lie to you. Your emotions will, in fact, always tell you the truth about what you believe.

~Bob Hamp

It started at 3am. I woke up in a panic, thoughts swirling in my head. They were nasty, mean thoughts; You're ugly, you're worthless, you can't do anything right! They came so fast I could barely brace myself through the wave of despair and hopelessness that seemed to encompass me there in my bed. Prayer helped and eventually the thoughts and the heavy feelings passed.

But the aftermath was worse. I felt..... condemned. I was a Christian, filled by His presence and yet I had felt this wave of heavy thoughts. What was wrong with me? What was wrong with my faith? How could I feel this way? Was this an attack of the enemy? Was I simply mental?

These were the questions I took to a trusted friend. As I described my feelings and the condemnation I felt, she looked at me kindly and simply said, "Every emotion has a purpose."

Well, huh. I'd never really thought about it that way.

My first reaction was to blame. Blame myself. Blame the enemy. But I never stopped to ask myself or God why I might be feeling this way. So, that's what we did, my friend and I. We asked God and shock of all shockers? He had an answer.

Emotions are like that pain in your knee that you can't seem to get rid of. That pain tells you "Danger! Danger! There's something wrong here!" Your body is warning you that all is not well.

Your emotions in turn do a similar service. They are the warning device that tells you all is not well with your soul. Instead of turning towards blame or a coping mechanism, we can turn to God for a little heart surgery. Turning to God can help us demolish strongholds and lies that we've come to believe and instill the truth about how He sees us.

So next time you're feeling something, instead of asking yourself "What's wrong with me?" remember to stop, pause, and listen to your emotions because they are a road sign saying "Danger! Trouble ahead!"

Then simply take them to the One Person who can help you sort it all out.

Love Covers

2011-12-08T15:07:00.000-08:00

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8

Rock, Paper, Scissors! 1,2,3-Ha! I win!

What? Why?! That's not fair!

Paper always covers rock, duuuh!

I didn't get it. I was eight and all my reasoning said that paper was flimsy, prone to tearing, and certainly less sturdy than a piece of stone. Stone totally trumped paper, that was just common sense!

Much later, at 22 to be exact, I heard a sermon on love and forgiveness. It was about Noah and his drunkenness, about his nakedness, about his vulnerability. His son Canaan had come in to discover his father disheveled and indecent, and while his elder two brothers covered his father, Canaan took the opportunity to shame him. Noah's elder son's love covered his nakedness, while Canaan's hate only succeeded in exposing his own heart.

Like paper, love is an unlikely underdog to sin. The world says that love cannot cover greed, hate, ignorance, infidelity, abuse, racism, or even murder. It seems arbitrary and idealistic. The world would tell us that love cannot make those things disappear, but it's the only thing that can.

To love someone who has or may hurt you is risky. It's bold. It's radical. But it's the only way to move forward. Withholding love doesn't say something about the person, it says something about you. Withholding love means entertaining malice, and that's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick. What was in Canaan's heart-hate, anger, bitterness- only hurt himself, and while Noah's sin left him exposed and naked, Canaan's actions exposed the deep ugly parts that lay still inside his heart.

We're asked to cover one another in love, not to keep things hidden, but because we are called to acknowledge the best. That is love. Noah's indiscretion did not speak to who he really was. It was a fact, yes, that he'd been found drunk and naked, but the truth was that Noah was a man of God who had over and over again shown his faithfulness. Noah was not the sum total of his sins.

When we love someone we choose two things; to call out and believe the best in someone, and to reject the right to judge them. Both are for theirs and our own benefit. Judgement is meant to come from God, not us. Judgement, in human hands, makes us hard-hearted and bitter. By loving others, we lay down that judgement. Judgement is a heavy burden to bear. Love frees us from the bondage of thinking that we are in control.

Jesus said His yoke is easy and His burden, light. Today, I believe Him. Do you?

Who do you need to cover in love today? What judgments do you need to let go of? Who needs the cover of love and grace in your life?

The People Pleaser Stronghold

2011-11-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

Hi, my name is Alex, and I'm a people pleaser.

It started out innocently enough. The need to gain approval, to be loved, things all children long for. But it quickly spiraled into caring, with great significance, what people thought about me.

My identity became rooted in who liked me and who did not. I accepted what others saw in me. I was who everyone else said I was. Good or bad, those became the voices in my head.

I did things, not out of love and kindness, but out of obligation. Out of my need to be approved, and it made me bitter and resentful.

I took responsibility for things that weren't mine. I became the Savior. I would save everyone, then they'd like me more. But being the Savior is exhausting.

And it certainly wasn't in love. It was out of my need for love.

When I thought necessary, I lied. I made up realities to find and gain approval, ones that had no root in the truth.

And I constructed a world around me that was based on my lens for love. I saw people through it, not as people to love, but as people who should love me. People became my pawns in a game of neediness that had no end.

And in that game, people got hurt, intentionally or not.

I hurt myself.

Using people as my source for anything was disappointing. I walked away every time feeling like less of a person than when I'd begun. People pleasing was my stronghold, my drug of choice, my coping mechanism. People became my source for identity, love, and security.

But God.

He's speaking to my heart and to the lies that I believe. That He is meant to be my source of comfort, love, and security. That with Him there is no obligation or task that I can do to make Him love me more, for He cannot love me less. His yoke is easy, His burden light. There are no strings attached to His approval or love.

He loves me for who I am, not what I do.

To live in a world where I don't strive for approval, where I can set healthy boundaries without fear, these concepts are foreign and hard for me. But that makes them none-the-less true.

I am learning a new normal, a new reality, and it's step by step. I am an infant in this way. But I do trust Him. I trust Him to lead me when and where I'm ready to go. And I find that as I go, as I brave the outside world, the one that's scary and new that it suites me. The cage I had placed around myself seems smaller and uglier, and this world, the one where God gives me my identity seems all the more desirable.

In a way, I am grateful for this new place. This valley that seems scary and exhilarating. That God would not condemn me to live a life in the place the I built for myself, but the place He has for me.

A new way to see, to live, and to love.

Ralph Waldo Emerson
People only see what they are prepared to see

The Value of Transparency...

2011-11-22T09:09:00.001-08:00

James 5:16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.

I was recently at a girls' night when a long time friend started to talk about her relationship with her spouse. She was candid, she was honest, she was transparent. She talked with ease about her struggles just as if she was talking about the weather.

At first I was shocked, not necessarily because it was private, but because she seemed to be so relaxed. I thought to myself, wasn't she worried what others would think?

I stopped for a second, shocked that had been my first reaction. Something in me balked at the honesty of others. While it was refreshing, it also made me feel naked and exposed. It made me uncomfortable.

Somewhere along the way, I started to live my life in the guilt, shame, and loneliness that can overcome those who are struggling and I began to believe that I was the only one going through this. I'd bought it hook, line, and sinker and I'd let myself be dragged into a world of masks and lies. I'd tried to put on a facade of perfection and it was getting harder and harder to keep on.

My friend's transparency helped me unravel a lie I'd believed. She reminded me that it's okay, even better, to be honest. She reminded me that there is value in transparency.

What if we all decided to take off our masks and get real with each other?What if we stopped striving to look perfect?

What would it look like to boldly and courageously declare that we all struggle and could speak easily about it?

I think if we could all cast aside the masks and facades we wear we'd give others permission to do the same, to be real, to struggle openly, and to find healing.

That's the real heart of the Gospel. We're all equally messed up and need His grace, and that my friends is a beautiful thing.

Animal Behavior

2011-11-20T13:15:00.000-08:00

I love People of the Second Chance for a so many reasons but mainly because they are revolutionizing the way we think about the word 'grace.' Grace is undeserved mercy and unmerited favor. Grace is a second chance, another stab at life despite your previous actions, and the POTSC know it!

Animal is one of my favorite Muppets. I mean he's cute and fuzzy, but underneath that two feet of darling is a monster. He's rude, curt, uncouth, unnecessarily blunt, and just plain odd. We all have Animals like that in our lives. The boss with the bad temper, the husband who ignores you, the co-worker with the potty mouth, the needy friend, that woman at the cash register that was rude to you for no apparent reason. We all have them, and I don't know about you but sometimes I just want to close my eyes and wish them away and then I hear this whisper...

You have your 'Animal' moments too.....

Ouch. He's right though, I do. I've found myself angry and lashing out at those closest to me, annoyed and irritated with people at work, snapping at the nice cashier, hassling the waiter who I think is taking too long...I've got my moments.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11Don't you realize that this is not the way to live? Unjust people who don't care about God will not be joining in his kingdom. Those who use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it, don't qualify as citizens in God's kingdom. A number of you know from experience what I'm talking about, for not so long ago you were on that list.

Guilty as charged. Thank goodness the verse goes on...

Since then, you've been cleaned up and given a fresh start by Jesus, our Master, our Messiah, and by our God present in us, the Spirit.

In a dorm room in Boston, God gave me, an angry, lonely, confused girl a second chance at life. He gave me grace and for every 'animal' moment that still resides within me, He covers that too. What message do we send about God to our "animals" if we simply walk away? If we condemn? If we withhold the grace He so freely gives to us?

Can you give the 'animals' in your life a second chance? Join the revolution here..

Matthew 10:8 Freely you have received; freely give.

A letter to Penn State

2011-11-11T17:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Penn State,

I get it. A man you respected and loved committed a great wrong and is now finally reaping the consequences. You're confused, you're angry, you're shocked. In fact, what you're going through is relatively normal. You're grieving and the first stage of that is shock and denial. It's common to want to overlook the wrong. To pretend it didn't happen. You want to rally beside Paterno because the truth that he could have stopped dozens of boys' lives from being ruined is a truth too great to associate with the man you love.

Next there's anger. You've clearly shown the world your anger, but it was misdirected. Instead of being angry on behalf of the victims, the boys who suffered the consequences of Paterno and McQuery's silence (not too mention the actual perpetrator), you directed it at everyone else. You turned over cars, you broke windows, you shouted and you screamed but for what?

You rallied behind Paterno and turned him into the victim, casting aside the boys, now men, who suffered the abuse, and in the process you sent a message to abuse victims everywhere----Don't talk. Stay silent, because when you do you ruin good men's reputations. You perpetuated the lie that silence is the answer.

But silence is the problem.

Those boys had their voices taken from them not just by the perpetrator but by the one's who covered up his sin. Football and reputation became more important than truth and justice.

Paterno's cowardice had consequences, for him, for the boys, and now for the University. What we fail to oppose by speaking out, we silently condone. Edward Burke once said, ‎"In order for evil to flourish, all that is required is for good men to do nothing."

If this teaches you anything, it's that people are messy and multi-faceted and good men are capable of great evil. Instead of lashing out at the world maybe it's time to turn inward. To process, to accept, and to hope. To know that in this world there is both good and bad, and that the solution for both is found in the One who died for you, not just so you could get into Heaven but so that you could hope again, so that you could live, so that you could find your voice and help others find theirs.

Grieve, be angry, let what happened challenge all you knew, let it challenge your reality. Question and doubt and let that spur you on to seeking truth.

But do us all a favor? No more riots. Truth be told, it just makes you all look like chumps.

Sincerely,

Happily Ever After

2011-11-01T17:12:00.000-07:00

We are made in the image of God; we carry within us the desire for our true life of intimacy and adventure. To say we want less than that is to lie.

― John Eldredge, The Journey of Desire

There's a trend happening in entertainment. From TV shows to movies, there is this pull toward fantasy and fairytales. NBC and ABC have both recently released shows based on children's fairytales. Each has a hero, each a villain, and both tell us that there is much more to the world than what we see. In ABC's Once Upon a Time we learn that the sleepy town of Storybrook is really a sinister cover up for a curse where all fairy tale creatures have been trapped. Time has stopped in Storybrook and the former fairy tale creatures have all but forgotten who they really are. Yet each of them are plagued by the feeling that things aren't quite right. Something in them yearns for their once happily-ever-after lives.

Catch it yet?

There is within each of us, believer or not, a feeling, an inkling of former glory. It is this insatiable hole that hints at a former life. We were made for more than this. We were made for happy endings, for glory, for victory. There is this odd feeling that we don't quite fit this world, a desire for something we cannot quite put our finger on. Some part of us knows that things in this world have gone terribly wrong and we long for a hero, a savior.

I've seen many Christians up in arms about fantasy and fiction. From Twilight to Harry Potter, we have boycotted in the name of religion. We as a church have shut off the outside world for fear of it's influence instead of going out there to influence the world and in doing so we have missed what is right in front of us.

People are hungry for God.

Their cries are coming through by the stories they tell and relate to. Girls like Twilight because Edward is a mysterious being who is strong enough to crush them and yet exudes unconditional (albeit creepy) love. Kids love Harry Potter because it's a story about an mistreated orphan who finds out that he's really more powerful than anyone could have imagined. We watch tv shows like Once Upon a Time because in the end we long for good to triumph over evil and for the damsel and hero to be reunited.

Do you hear it? The cries?

Instead of walling ourselves off we should be starting conversations with those around us who are empty and need to be filled, who are despairing and need hope, who are hurting and need to be healed. People need to know that happily-ever-after does exist in this world, that there is hope, but that they are looking in all the wrong places.

The solution to a sick world isn't to lock ourselves in for fear that we'll catch it, it's to go out into the world and administer the cure. Discernment is noticing what is true about something or someone, judgement is letting it harden your heart.* Christians as a whole have been guilty of judging the world and shying away. We have hardened our hearts to a world that is crying out for it's happily-ever-after, that is empty and yearns to be made whole.

Will you answer?

*Quote from Pastor Bob Hamp, Recording: The Hidden Heart

Hope

2011-10-25T13:39:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick

Our English dictionary defines hope as "to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence." It springs forth our of the belief that things can and will be different. That we have purpose and a future.

But hope for some is risky.

What if you grew up in a world where disappointment and pain were everyday occurrences? What if you grew up in a family where the idea of hope was not only insignificant but dangerous. Hope meant opening yourself up to the possibility of disappointment, and that had happened too many times to count.

The word "deferred" in Hebrew is "mashak" which literally means to sieze or scatter. Hope seized and scattered makes the heart sick, and more importantly it makes the heart hard. For those who have grown up with abuse, their experiences tell them that hope is risky. Hope leads to disappointment and disappointment to hurt and that simply isn't worth it. It's easier to accept what is, that to hope for what could be.

It's a defense mechanism that we learn to survive, to protect ourselves. Our bodies and minds instead stand poised, waiting for the next shoe to drop because.... it always has.

There's an old proverb that says something along the lines of 'if you go looking for something, you'll usually find it.' If you look for the bad and the ugly, you'll find it all around you. In fact focusing on the negative keeps your focus on your problems, resulting in being surrounded by the very thing you don't want. You can't get free by focusing on what you don't want.

Hope is scary. It's vulnerability at it's best. It's opening yourself up to the possibility of pain but also to the possibility of freedom. There is a stirring in the body of Christ for hope. In a world that tells us of hopelessness, despair, and pain, there is a fire burning. All around us are hurting people. Politicians and religious figures alike have gathered followings by simply saying the words "hope" and "change."

Doesn't that tell us something?

People are hungry for hope. They are hungry for change. They are hungry for God.

I have feared to hope, considering the risk too great. I have told God that my problems and pain are bigger than him and I have placed my faith in my defense mechanisms. I have let my experiences define me and those around me. I have feared disappointment and releasing control.

But I serve a God who believed in hope and change so much that He sent His only Son to die for that. I serve a God that bled to see the prostitute transformed, the lepers healed, the hurting made hole, the prisoners set free, and the world changed. I serve a God who didn't give up on me and who is coaxing me, whispering to me about a future and a hope, about His plans to prosper me. He whispers to me about change, about freedom, and about beauty.

I'm ready to be vulnerable. I'm ready to open my hands up wide to receive what He's giving me. I'm ready to relinquish control. I'm ready to hope.

Are you?

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

The in betweens...

2011-10-05T16:25:00.000-07:00

Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away. And every one that bears fruit, He prunes it so that it may bring forth more fruit.

John 15:2

I sat looking at my Nonna's very sad rose bushes who had to my annoyance, decided not to bloom this year. "What did I do wrong?" I asked our neighbor, perplexed. I'd fed, watered, and fertilized everything I could.

"Did you prune them?"

The answer of course was an emphatic no. It was later that I'd learn that pruning the rose bushes did four important things:

encourage new growth
remove dead wood
improve air circulation
and lastly shape the plant

I'd forgotten what seemed to be rose gardening rule numero uno!

There was a time where I'd felt much like our sad, headless little roses. Stuck in a place I'd rather not be, out of winter, but not yet in full bloom. I call it the "in betweens." The in-betweens are frustrating for a myriad of reasons. You've struggled and possibly come out of something, and now you're stuck somewhere after tragedy but before victory. It's like the Hebrews in the desert, the period between the Exodus of Egypt and the Promised Land. Eating manna can get a bit tiresome for anyone. So why the in between? Why the desert? Why not jump straight out of Egypt and into the land of milk and honey?

Let's take the time to imagine just for a second that the Israelites didn't wander, that God let them right into the middle of the many battles it took to take the Promised Land. Would they have been prepared for what lay ahead (remember that in order to take the land they had to fight many battles where they were outdone and outnumbered)? Probably not.

In fact, God's heart was always for their success (Jeremiah 29:11), but He had to weed out those things that would have led them to fail; idolatry, ungratefulness, cowardice, greed, disobedience. All of these things had to be purged in order to set the Israelites toward their destiny. In order to conquer the land they had to trust and press into God and those weeds had to be pulled out to accomplish that. The desert was for their good.

Like them, our deserts are also for our good. The in betweens are for pruning our hearts and readying our character for the adventures ahead. Much like pruning roses, the in betweens do several important things including:

encouraging new growth
removing lies we believe and healing the dead and wounded places in our hearts
improving our ability to hear the Holy Spirit
shaping us for our future

My latest in between lasted more than two and a half years and it was hard to walk out. However it was during that time that I learned much about myself and even more about God. Though I was pruned and pressed, looking back if I'd stepped into where I am now with who I was then, I would've crashed and burned. Ultimately, the in betweens, prepare us for our God-ordained destinies by helping prune our hearts of anything not submitted to Him. .

Pruning hurts, but the end result is well worth it. The Promised Land is worth it. If you're in an in-between, a place where you aren't quite happy with where you are, it may be that you're a rose bush badly in need of pruning (aren't we all!)

But the blooms next year? Oh yes, they will be beautiful!

Alex is a set free, transformed, loved woman of God who enjoys writing, photography, and a good book when she has time to read and is the founder of the blog 'Journey to Beauty'. She loves her family which includes her amazing husband Kevin, her fiesty grandmother Nonna, and her two dogs and cats. She has a passion for community, and for seeing people set free to find who they're created to be. Alex attended the Boston Conservatory of music as well as Central Christian College of the Bible in Moberly, Mo. She currently serves on staff at Gateway Church in the role of administrative assistant within Compassion Ministries and is a wiz at typing, stapling, and all things office related but most of all she gets to serve alongside a team that is slowly changing the world!

Cleaning

2011-09-20T12:01:00.000-07:00

Some folks do spring cleaning. I seem to do mine at any given point in the year when I have a few days off at home.

I recently embarked on one of these organization fetes over Labor Day weekend. My attention turned toward not the visible surface areas that needed to be wiped down or dusted, but to my husband’s and my dresser drawers and clothes, storage and linen closets. I felt a need to make room, organize and purge our home of all the unused junk and outgrown clothes we’d never put on our bodies again. My mom used to say, “If you haven’t worn it in a year, it’s time to get rid of it.”

Among my achievements that day, to the delight of observers in passing cars, I lugged old housewares to our “magic curb” (now you see it, now you don’t!). I also filled a bag destined for Goodwill with old t-shirts, faded sweaters, clothes I never planned to wear again, and clothes I had never seen (or would never approve of) my husband wearing.

I later made mention to my husband that among the clothes I had given away were some shirts he had acquired through various former companies he’d worked for which he’d never worn.

His response, though forgiving and loving, was: “Babe, please don’t do that again without my permission, okay?”

“But you never wear those shirts, and you didn’t even like those companies you worked for!”

“I know, but you don’t see me getting rid of your stuff I don’t think you use or like anymore, okay?” (I’m guessing you’ve probably had similar conversations with your spouse, children, or parents.)

Even though Scott indeed would NEVER have worn those shirts again, I believe my husband felt a violation had occurred when I came in and made the executive decision they had to go.

Isn’t it funny that we react sometimes the same way to our Father when He tells us there’s something we need to get rid of in our heart closets?

Now, I don’t believe our God comes in dogmatically like me, the housecleaning wife, zealously pitching our junk to the curb or into the trashcan, insisting: “It’s good for you!”

But I do believe He will gently, though firmly, knock on the doors, ask us to unlock those hidden rooms, point to those corners and closets and ask us to willingly give up the dusty junk we’ve tucked away all these years.

Smile! All your life you’ve been on candid camera and He knows what old junk is filling up your dresser drawers or sits behind the hanging clothes.

Make no mistake: God doesn’t move in this way for the sake of a Heavenly Garage Sale to conform us to a sanitized, color-coded, Container Store-modeled life that fits perfectly in a churchy box. Rather, He wants to heal, free, transform, renew, equip and make us more like Jesus!

Think how God must mourn when we cannot receive those good and perfect gifts He wants us to give us from above because we have no place to store the good in those junk-filled spaces!

Jesus reminded us in Matthews 7:18: “A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot bear good fruit.”

When our spiritual walk is stagnant because we’re loaded down by the inertia of that junk, we’ll feel it by the distance separating us from the abundant life which abides in Christ.

Refusing to give up that huge, heavy box loaded down with bricks that says: “I am what people think of me”? Until you trade it with God, He can’t bestow to you the priceless oil painting to put over your mantle for all to see that says: “I am approved by God, and I am an heir with Christ.”

Fervently clinging to those bottles of bitterness from past wounds you won’t forgive others of? While they’re leaking and staining poison in your heart, God so desperately wants you to release those to Him in exchange for a beautiful tapestry He’s woven for you to illustrate your freedom in Christ.

Maybe there’s a closet marked “Shame” which you pass each day, telling you things will never change. You may keep trying to rush God by it so He won’t see it. But did you know, in His great love for you, He sent His one and only Son to die on a cross to free you from shame ever taking up residence in your heart? Oh, how He longs for you to let Him tear the shame closet down, and bestow upon you instead a double inheritance.

Jesus said, “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. (John 15:1-2 NKJV)

I challenge you to allow God to show you what junk you’ve stored up in your heart, and obediently lay those things at His cross. May you instead be firmly planted by His streams of living water, and that as the bride of Christ, He will wash you in His Word, opening the floodgates of all the abundant life He has in mind for you.

I hope this song by Shaun Groves blesses you in this journey.

Welcome Home
By Shaun Groves

Welcome to this heart of mine
I'm buried under prideful vines
Grown to hide the mess I've made
Inside of me - come decorate, Lord,
And open up the creaking door
And walk upon the dusty floor -
Scrape away the guilty stains
Until no sin or shame remains
Spread Your love upon the walls,
And occupy the empty halls
Until the man I am has faded -
No more doors are barricaded...

(CHORUS)
Come inside this heart of mine -
It's not my own -
Make it home...
Come and take this heart and make it
All Your own -
Welcome Home...

Take a seat - pull up a chair -
Forgive me for the disrepair
And the souvenirs from floor to ceiling
Gathered on my search for meaning,
And every closet's filled with clutter -
Messes yet to be discovered -
I'm overwhelmed - I understand
I can't make this place all that You can...

I took this space that You placed in me,
Redecorated in shades of greed,
And I made sure every door stayed locked -
Every window blocked -
And still, You knocked, well...

Come inside this heart of mine -
It's not my own -
Make it home...
Come and take this heart and make it
All Your own -
Welcome Home...

Erin is blessed and loved immeasurably by a kind and redeeming Father who masterfully knit her in her mother’s womb. He created her with a heart for worship, loving her husband Scott, cooking, feeding people, gardening, kitty-cats, and the occasional jog. She studied communications, government, and worship music at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va. Scott and Erin have been members of Gateway Church in Southlake since 2003. Erin has worked since 2007 for a nonprofit think tank in effort to promote economic freedom and change hearts and minds across the nation and in Washington.

Till Death Do Us Part?

2011-09-14T13:56:00.001-07:00

Will you have this man to be your husband; to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love him, comfort him, honor and keep him, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?

~The Book of Common Prayer

Pat Robertson has recently come out with a statement condoning divorce if a spouse has Alzheimer's.

"It's really hurtful because they say crazy things," Robertson said. "Nevertheless, it is a terribly difficult thing for somebody. I can't fault him for wanting some kind of companionship. And if he says in a sense she is gone, he's right. It's like a walking death. Get some ethicist besides me to give you an answer because I recognize the dilemma and the last thing I'd do is condemn you for taking that kind of action."

There are, in the US, about 15 million caregivers who are serving those with Alzheimer's or other dementia related illnesses and the Alzheimer's Association has estimated that those 15 million caregivers give about 17 billion hours of unpaid care to their loved ones. It's hard, it's exhausting. The person you knew is gone. It's certainly, as Robertson said, a dilemma.

I can understand this dilemma and I can empathize with those that come to the brink of despair and see divorce as the only out. But this position makes loud and clear the common thought that marriage (and love) are conditional.

If you meet my needs I meet yours, but once mine aren't being met, I'm out of here!

It's this very thought that is corroding marriages both in the world and in church, and it's roots are born out of this lie:

Other people can meet my needs.

With that line of thinking why stop at Alzheimer's? Cancer is hard. Should people divorce spouses with cancer? Can we take it further? What about heart issues, immune diseases, mental illness, miscarriage, loss of a child, parenting issues.....not to mention the communication problems that many relationships experience on a daily basis!

When we think like this it's easy to see Robertson's reasoning. The man in question's wife is not meeting his needs for verbal, emotional, or physical companionship. She is not 'making him happy'. In fact, her disease demands her husband's full emotional and mental focus, and he's probably exhausted. He'll burn out if his sole focus is to met every one of his wife's demanding needs (and I think we've stumbled on another lie)....

I can and should meet other people's needs.

The truth for both of these lies is that God is the only one who can make meet all our needs, ours and other people's. By thinking that other people are responsible for meeting our needs and vice versa we frustrate both ourselves and our loved one, and we miss out on the abundant life that Christ offers to give us.

¹⁹ And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. ~Phillipians 4

When we confront the lies about where our needs are met, our definition of care-taking changes. It isn't meeting every need your loved one has, it's simply choosing to love them through this season. Illness and death are a part of life we cannot outrun, in fact, it's part of His plan.

¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow! What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ~James 4

Care taking is hard, absolutely, but just because it's hard, doesn't mean that God won't ask us to walk through it. It's an opportunity to reassess your expectations for where your needs are met, and boundaries on meeting other people's. It's an opportunity to grow in faith, to cling to the Father, to confront and examine beliefs, and most importantly to choose love, despite circumstances.

Jesus did.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13

http://www.alz.org/index.asp
http://www.visitingangels.com/
http://helpguide.org/elder/alzheimers_disease_dementia_support_caregiver.htm

*While I have never walked through an ill spouse, I watched my mother care take for my dad through a four year battle with cancer that he ultimately lost. Watching her love my dad, despite his illness, was the most amazing example to me of love. *

5 things I've learned to love about my husband...

2011-09-07T21:17:00.001-07:00

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

~Rita Rudner

No, but seriously. Marriage is 24/7 and odds are at some point those "cute" habits that you fawned over while dating aren't so "cute" anymore. They're annoying. They grate at you....and the most important thing to realize about this is that God made it that way!

Or, let me phrase it differently....He put within each of us unique attributes that need the other. Those habits that just get at you, the ways your partner reacts to things that just drive you bonkers? They're signs. Signs that say "oooo I hit a button." And when that button's hit, instead of reacting, it's helpful to step back and say "what's beneath that? why'd that hurt so bad?" Odds are you'll find something lurking beneath the surface that God needs to deal with.

It makes sense. Your partner's flaws and issues will inevitably flag yours, and you can do two things with that--either let it destroy your relationship or use it as an opportunity to grow. I recommend the latter.

So without further adieu...my 5 things that I've had to learn to love about my husband.

He never wears shoes--ever-- former source of contention in our household, especially when I'd think of sleeping next to the calluses this created. But this is indicative of his whimsically calm nature, his tendency to just be. He's laid back, while I have a tendency to plan everything (and I mean everything!) He chills me out. When I'm upset, he sits back and breathes, and he's slowly teaching me to trust God in deeper ways than I could have imagined. True, most of the time I want to flick him and ask "Aren't you WORRIED?!" But his nonchalant nature tells me what he thinks, "it'll all be okay, God's got this."

His gift buying skills. He came from a poor family, so gifts weren't a bit deal. So, when our first Christmas came and all I got were tweety bird pants and a bath and body works (imitation) bath set, I was mortified. Looking back, I'm ashamed at my initial reaction, but I couldn't fathom a family where gift giving wasn't the point of the holidays. My husband taught me two things that season: materials aren't everything (actually they are nothing), and holidays are for so much more than gifts. His sense of family, love, and compassion still amaze me to this day.

His love of guns. We live in Texas, and if there's one thing my husband likes more than chicken fried steak, it's guns. And yet, somehow I've become blissfully aware of how safe I'll be if there's ever a zombie apocalypse or foreign invasion. Seriously, we're set. If you feel unprepared, just come to my house.

His fashion sense. I've heard ladies refer to their hubbys as ken dolls to dress up. Not mine. Nope. He goes out in flip-flops, a Hawaiian shirt, and a fedora. Yeah. But you know why I love that? He's original. No carbon copies. He's him, and he knows what he likes. And for the most part I think I like that better than someone who lacks authenticity. He's him and I love that.

His mind. He and I think so very differently. But you know, there's nothing like his perspective when mine isn't quite fitting. I love having his input, even if I don't take it (sorry honey.) And I love his ability to connect everything to something else. ADD? Maybe a bit. Brilliant? Absolutely. I need his brain and hey, two brains are better than one (or something like that.)

I know this much. I am more patient, kinder, and more compassionate than I was six years ago. I plan less and enjoy more because I'm married to the one who balances me, even if he drives me completely and utterly nutty.

Oh, and don't worry. A guest post will come soon with what he's had to learn to "love" about me. I can't wait to hear it!

Alex is a set free, transformed, loved woman of God who enjoys writing, photography, and a good book when she has time to read. She loves her family which includes her amazing husband Kevin, her fiesty grandmother Nonna, and her two dogs and cats. She has a passion for community, and for seeing people set free to find who they're created to be. Alex attended the Boston Conservatory of music as well as Central Christian College of the Bible in Moberly, Mo. She currently serves on staff at Gateway Church in the role of administrative assistant within Compassion Ministries and is a wiz at typing, stapling, and all things office related but most of all she gets to serve alongside a team that is slowly changing the world!

How to Enter the Kingdom of Heaven

2011-09-04T11:34:00.000-07:00

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Matthew 18:3

It's Sunday afternoon and the house is quiet. My grandmother is gently sleeping, taking her second nap of the day, and my husband is practicing worship tunes for bible study next week. I love that sound, the gentle strum of a guitar.

212. Husband plucking guitar strings

Sunday's also laundry day, and so I trudge downstairs to grab a load of whites out of the dryer. They are hot, smelling of the downy softener my husband likes so much. I fold each piece slowly and take in that familiar odor.

213. The smell of fresh laundry

By now, you're noticing a trend...numbers. I'm compiling a list of sorts, an inspiration from the book One Thousand Gifts, of things that I am thankful for.

214. A good book

But it's so much more than a list. As I've started giving voice to my gratitude, something interesting has happened. Nothing has changed in my life, and yet, my world looks a tad different than I remembered.

A perspective shift--a revelation.

I've been feeling a bit like Alice in Wonderland, tumbling down the rabbit hole, or like Neo in the Matrix, discovering a new world that was in fact there along. Or maybe like Sleeping Beauty, who wakes from a deep sleep to find the world around her much changed. Something. Something different, magical, wondrous.

215. (Mental Note) A good fairy tale

Actually, this list, it's become a bit like a game. I wake everyday wondering what new things I'll find to be thankful for; a full moon, the way my dog looks at me when he wants to play, dinner with friends, the taste of a fresh crisp pear. It shifts how I look at the world, and brings new wonder to the old dingy places.

And I think to myself, this must be how a child feels. A child literally learns to appreciate something new every day. Their lives are filled with learning and adventure. Somewhere along the way though, we lose the wonder, and most importantly-- the gratitude. We see wonders and signs so often in our lives that we loose the awe in them; a baby born, a flower budding, rain, these seem so everyday. So ordinary. And suddenly we're blind to a world that we once saw in color.

Maybe this is why Jesus said we had to be like children, because children see things differently. Because the world is still new and wonderful. Because to them anything is possible, and the smallest joys are the biggest miracles. Maybe that's the only way to see behind the veil, to go beyond the Matrix, to wake from a lackadaisical sleep.

216. Good metaphors :-)

Maybe the only way to enter the Kingdom of Heaven is to once again capture the awe and wonder of life. Maybe that's the reason why this list is slowly changing me. Gratitude is helping me discover a new world, and all the wonders it contains. It's helping me to recognize God's hand and voice more clearly and to realize that sometimes the small miracles are indeed the best. My world, it looks a little more like Heaven every day, I just have to see it.

Philippians 4:8

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—ponder about such things.

Defeating the Lies About Children

2011-09-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

Do you have kids? When do you and your husband plan to have kids?

These questions daunted my young married life. It all started about three years ago, the first year of my marriage, when I was 23.

It was a curious thing: Whenever I logged onto Facebook or some other social medium, instead of the usual “I’m eating a sandwich,” or “So-in-So poked you,” I began to be greeted by a steady stream of photos and status updates as friends and acquaintances started a journey of becoming pregnant and raising children.

At first, I thought these people were either the really passionate women who all their life had desired to be nothing but mommies, or “victims” of unplanned pregnancies. But then the trickle exploded into a rushing river, and pretty soon… I felt like the only wife out there NOT having kids.

My reaction to this culture change and alienation was stubbornness and even snobbery. You see, I was a serious professional, with a serious job. And truthfully, I was extremely grateful to the Lord for my job, which He used to humble me and ordained for me right out of college in His kindness and deep affection. But also truthfully, I probably took a little too much pride in my job, my benefits, and my frequent flier status on American Airlines. Obviously, it was His will that I had something “better” for my life than children as a 20-something, right?

Because of this attitude, I gave the enemy an opportunity to come into my heart and erect a stronghold. The stronghold was my distrust in God to rule and remain sovereign in this area of my life. I was convinced that my husband and I would be happier, more prosperous, and healthier in our marriage, etc. if I asserted control and we waited. And waited. And waited.

Meanwhile, through the lens of this stronghold, I saw my young friends who were having kids as being locked in their home, held captive to nursing infants, subjected to endless hours of Baby Einstein, scrubbing all sorts of projectile bodily fluids out of beds, carpet, couches, and the bathtub, and totally out of touch with what’s happening in the nation. (And seriously, what the heck was “Tummy Time,” and how on earth could that be the highlight of their day?)

Pretty soon, the stronghold had me wanting everyone to know I wasn’t agreeing with the lifestyle of mommydom, and that even good 20-something married Christian girls who loved the Lord and their husbands can be perfectly satisfied without having kids. But the truth is, I had a chip on my shoulder. And the stronghold grew bigger, causing alienation among friends who were mothers and even sweet family members who felt like they were walking on eggshells around me if the topic of children ever got brought up.

The lens by which I viewed the world backfired and made me increasingly insecure, and had me thinking people didn’t love me for who I am, just my uterus’ capabilities. Even more insidiously, the enemy began to whisper to me accusations: “You’re a disappointment. What’s wrong with you? Why are you selfish? Everyone else is wondering why you hate children. Why aren’t you like other women who love kids? Maybe your husband should have married one of them, not you.”

Then one cold January morning, I woke up and realized—despite family planning tactics—that I could be pregnant. After taking an at-home test, (okay, three) any twinge of excitement I had when I saw those double lines was clouded by this negative thought: “There goes the life I was looking forward to having.”

I wrestled and cried before God for days. And then God whispered to me, “Trust Me. I’ve opened doors you didn’t know could open. I’ve always provided for you .”

I acknowledged His sweet, gentle truth, and thanked Him for what He was going to do in our lives with a new baby. I asked forgiveness for not trusting Him, and although I wasn’t totally happy with being pregnant, I moved forward.

Moving forward meant my husband and I soon learned via sonogram there was, in fact, no baby. Called “blighted ovum,” somewhere along the way, the fetus stopped developing and all I was left with was an empty sac. When the doctor told us this news, I entered uncharted territory involving all the emotions and loss of dealing with a miscarriage. In His lovingkindness, it brought Scott and I closer together as a couple.

But when it was over, I was motivated to remain even more determined against prematurely bringing children into our life, and also to check off a shallow bucket list of “achievements” before everything would be “altered forever.”

Yet in His sweet conviction and deliverance, through a gradual healing process, God showed me it was so much more than a desire to just get a few things accomplished. I had made a poisonous, negative judgment closing my heart to desiring children. The judgment was: Having children ends your career and causes stress, damage and upheaval to finances, marriage, home, and physical appearance.

When He showed those judgments to me, He was telling me two things. Accidentally pregnant, I submitted to Him because I had no other option, but I didn’t fully trust Him, and didn’t continue to trust Him after the miscarriage was over. Secondly, the judgments I had made were so grandly against what He says about His children. Instead, He says: Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

But it didn’t stop there. Going even deeper, He gently revealed my offense against the 2nd commandment. You see, while I looked at other moms with sympathy for the “stress” I saw in their lives, I was worshipping my security and the standard of life I wanted. As much as I claimed to love Him, God wasn’t truly my security. And to me, having children meant sacrificing this security I worshipped: my paycheck, benefits, order and cleanliness of my home, or free time with my husband. Even absurdly enough—the circumference of my waist, or the length of my hair (I don’t want to get a “Mommy-cut”!).

And finally, in the most merciful of ways, even despite my idolatry, brokenness, and judgment, God honored and blessed me by shattering the enemy’s lies about me. One of the ways He loved on me was by revealing how He imparted maternal abilities and gifts I was already practicing before my children ever entered the picture.

God brought to my awareness my ability to nurture. You see, I LOVE to cook—not just prepare food with excellence, but I love to feed people. I take so much pride in sitting down with my husband for dinner, and watching him cut into a carefully prepared tender cutlet of beef or chicken, or listening to his groans of pleasure at a good dessert, or even his eagerness to find a full pitcher of specially prepared mango mint lemonade in the fridge.

And what began as a much-needed aesthetic overhaul of our front yard turned into another passion as I learned to take great zeal in gardening, learning about plants, and bringing new species and colors home. My care of each plant rewarded me by yielding seasonal change, beautiful flowers or mature growth. I remember coming home from work and squealing with delight when the Carolina Jessamine heralded the coming of spring with its yellow trumpet-shaped blooms, or when the Burford hollies let me know by their bright red berries that Christmas was soon approaching.

By finding joy in feeding others and through the tender nurturing and development of just those plants, God said to me, “How much more will you delight in the nurturing and development of your children that I entrust to you?”

And finally, God crowned this blessing by reminding me of a prophecy He gave me through a church presbytery when I was merely 18 years old. I was weeks away from heading to college, filled with all the hopes and anticipations of what lay ahead, and not even dating anyone.

Out of a dozens truths God imparted to me that night about His love for me, my gifts and talents, out of nowhere, the man prophesying over me said:

“The Lord wants you to know you’re going to be a good mother.”

I cried out to God in this revelation in my absolute brokenness, thanking Him for His unfailing mercy and abundant grace for me. I asked His forgiveness for my idolatry and distrust, and praised Him as the Author of Life. While He knit me together in my mother’s womb, His promise endures that He will knit together His children in my womb. And yes, I rejoice that even a one such as myself is forgiven and redeemed from the lies and strongholds of the enemy!

I pray that you may find encouragement in that whatever season you may be in, or whatever area of your life, marriage, family, career, or home that has you believing the enemy’s lies, God would faithfully reveal His truth and shatter the chains that bind you from living the abundant life God has ordained for you. Our God is Mighty and He can do exceedingly, abundantly far above all we can ever ask or think!

Erin is blessed and loved immeasurably by a kind and redeeming Father who masterfully knit her in her mother’s womb. He created her with a heart for worship, loving her husband Scott, cooking, feeding people, gardening, kitty-cats, and the occasional jog. She studied communications, government, and worship music at Liberty University in Lynchburg, Va. Scott and Erin have been members of Gateway Church in Southlake since 2003. Erin has worked since 2007 for a nonprofit think tank in effort to promote economic freedom and change hearts and minds across the nation and in Washington.

Fear Dancing

2011-08-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

'A CH`I maneuver may be CHENG, if we make the enemy look upon it as CHENG; then our real attack will be CH`I, and vice versa.

The whole secret lies in confusing the enemy, so that he cannot fathom our real intent.'"

~The Art of War by Sun Tzu, Chapter 5~

"Ugh! You always do this!" I was fuming. It'd been a long day and an even longer week and I just wasn't up to the mess I came home to.

"I'm sorry I forgot! It happens. I'll clean up tomorrow."

But my mind was convinced that he was the problem, the enemy, and so I pounced and attacked with my words. And he snapped back like a turtle in it's shell. He shut down, which only made me angrier.

And so we fear danced. Around each other, around the problem, around the true enemy.

Which, contrary to my point of view in that moment, was not my husband.

Fear Dance--the dynamics and responses that work within a couple. That when he does this, I do that dance. That dance that happens when your buttons are pushed and you're not intentional about your response. At it's core--the belief that it is your spouse who you're fighting against.

It's a war tactic. Confuse them. Disguise the real enemy. It's the Trojan war horse of battle, and it's a tactic that's winning.

So we fear dance until we're exhausted, weak, and vulnerable. Until we don't know who the enemy really is, we just know we're unhappy. Where all that you can see is emotions, not truth.

No wonder so many couples are divorcing.

We've been played into fighting the wrong enemy for far too long. We have a real enemy, one intent on stealing, killing, and destroying all that is good in life, and marriage is good. God himself said that.

So, we need a new plan. A different way to think and respond in times of heated battle.

Know your partner well before the heat of battle. You're going to battle and your partner isn't the enemy, but nobody will successfully win a battle fighting alongside someone they don't know. Success of the team depends on you each knowing each others (and your own) strengths and weaknesses. In Judges 7 the Midianites are defeated because they are confused in the heat of the moment. Don't be them. Don't wait until things are already going to strategize. Plan your victory now by knowing what you will do then.
Know your enemy. Known his tactics. Know how he plays both against you and your partner. We know his biggest ploy--to confuse you and disguise himself. So be intentional about calling him out.
Refuse to fear dance. When I get angry and yell, my husband automatically shuts down. Fear Dance. I yell out of fear and anger, but I could choose to walk away, regain perspective and come back in a calm, non-confrontational way. And my husband in response is less likely to shut down. That's just an example, but be intentional in finding yours and refuse to play it out. Learn new ways to interact.

No more fear dancing. The enemy's tactics only work if you let them. He can only kill, steal, or destroy what you give over.

So now that you know your enemy, what are you going to do about it?

Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win.

~The Art of War~

Fellow Blogger Love

2011-08-26T13:29:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there comes along a kindred spirit via the internet. Someone I know I'd be friends with if we simply had the chance to sit down and have a long chat at Starbucks over a chai tea latte (I mean, who doesn't love those!)

Read this and you won't be sorry. He gets it, thank goodness! Here's a guy that understands that whether we are shaming women to cover up, or infatuated with sexuality, the root is still the same---two sides to the same coin. Both are focusing on the wrong thing.

3) Our ideas about modesty are mostly Puritanically American, and no, there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with that, but we must remember that our “modesty” is far more a cultural standard than it is a spiritual one. In a society with a history of making sure that women’s breasts were things not to be talked about but rather covered up (for the sake of the male’s eyes/integrity!!!)–is it any wonder our culture has grown into one that worships breasts as only sexual objects? For a while in our culture, many of us seemed to forget or ignore what breasts were really made for–bringing nourishment to babies. Thankfully that’s changing. But perhaps. Just maybe. If we Americans created a society where breastfeeding in public wasn’t taboo, we’d be reminded on a regular basis the true purpose of breasts and we wouldn’t be so quick to turn them into sexual objects… and maybe… just maybe… women would stop feeling the social pressure to have breast enhancement…

4) Some of my reasons are because of how I was raised. Once a month for 12 years school years, I watched my female classmates forced to line up in the hallway, one straight line of girls kneeling, all waiting for a teacher to walk by and measure the distance between the floor and the hem of their skirts and also the distance between the lowest point on their blouse and their clavicles. If the distances were too great, they were sent home or forced to wear the school’s official “ugly sweater,” my school’s version of the Letter A. I had three sisters. I watched all of them kneel in that line. And I have witnessed firsthand how my church’s modesty laws have affected various aspects of their lives, from insecurity to parenting to how they interact with other women with different modesty ideals than their own.
Read more....

Trust and Fear

2011-08-25T18:28:00.000-07:00

We insist that God must surely lead everyone as we believe He has led us. We refuse to allow God the freedom to deal with each of us as individuals. When we think like that, we are legalistic.

~~ Jerry Bridges, Transforming Grace~~

How do I even begin?

It started with an article about breasts. Yes, you heard me right. It was an article that challenged modern day christian restrictions. Essentially it boiled down to this: ask God about what you're wearing instead of worrying about what others think.

And yet...

The responses rang in.

Men.

Women.

Disgusted, angry, responding in frustration and exasperation, and casting aspersions.

Some of the responses were downright ugly. The ugliness of judgement. It was no longer about disagreeing with perspectives. It was a gut reaction-fear and anger, judgement and condemnation.

The writer's intent wasn't to call us to dress like whores. But that is all many people heard. And they all rang in with their fear. What if someone hears God wrong? What if this leads to a generation of women who are completely immodest? What if this article fueled the indecency and immodesty we see around us even more? What if an immature Christian read this wrong? What damage could it do?

Then here. Look to the comments. There are a few who voice their fears, who stand confused, unable to discern the difference between the rules of Man and the leading of God. What if we... get it wrong? What if we hear God wrong?

I'll admit, a list is alot easier. Do's and don'ts are much more concrete than saying "Hear God." Cults like the FLDS, they thought they'd heard God. They were even able to twist scripture to fit their practice of marrying off young girls to old men. Fear of Man.

But a God? A wildly, lovingly, unpredictable God? A God who may ask us to move to India, or hang with some drunks, or talk to a prostitute, or take in a homeless man, or befriend the outcasts?

That's scary. Risky even.

A God who goes above the rules? Where just looking is adultery, and anger is murder? Where the motivations of our heart matter much more than the "appearance of evil?"

That's riskier!

It's clear that in this life we've got two choices. Fear, and trust.

Fear sets the foundation for legalism and it is essentially this---- the lack of trust in God to deal with and speak to each individual as He sees fit (not as we see fit).

But trust, to trust God to deal with each individual, including ourselves, in His perfect timing, in His perfect will? Freedom.

Freedom to simply trust and obey.

And the funny thing about that is if you're busy trying to hear and obey His voice, there's no room for the judgement and condemnation of others. There's no room for legalism.

There's no room for fear.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear,

1 John 4:18

****Disclaimer: I am in no way supporting the idea that we should not live obediently to the principles in the Bible. I am suggesting though that living those principles in an ungraceful, cut off from God's voice, performance driven, legalistic way ends up in a heap of dead branches.

Wrestling with God

2011-08-24T08:41:00.000-07:00

24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
Genesis 32

Jacob was smart. He'd always been the smart one, and Essau the hunter and brute--more brawn than brains. And yet Essau, that dull-witted cretin, was first born (and by only seconds!)

I should be the first born, thought Jacob.

I should be the one getting the blessing, the inheritance. At least I'd know what to do with it!

But Jacob had a plan, one he'd mulled over for years--a way to get the inheritance that clearly belonged to him-to trick Essau and steal the blessing.

And so he did what he set out to do. Unfortunately Essau was angry (and physically able to do harm) and Jacob had to leave the only home he'd ever known in fear for his life. The story goes on that things didn't improve for young Jacob. He worked for a man who tricked him into marrying several of his daughters, and eventually, like all things we do, his consequences caught up to him.

Essau had found Jacob.

Then the story gets a bit weird.

A man, nameless, wrestles with Jacob all night, the night before Jacob is planning to see Essau. A man that is really God and once God sees that Jacob is not so easily subdued, he does the only thing he can to finally get his attention---he touches his hip and breaks it so that Jacob will limp for the rest of his life. He is forever humbled and reminded about that night.

But why?

Why would God come down to wrestle like a man with Jacob?

Because God cared about him.

Despite suffering immense consequences for what he'd done, Jacob hadn't yet learned humility. Never once in Genesis does Jacob ever repent or acknowledge what led him to this place. And so God does the one thing He can to get through to him.

He breaks him. He breaks him to bless him, because He cares!

I once heard a pastor speak on this passage and he recounted a conversation he'd had with his doctor, who told him that the hip joint is one of the strongest in the body and to knock it out of place would take immense pressure.

I, like Jacob, had a stronghold. I had been singing since I was 8-- contests, choruses. I'd won them all, and I was headed off to The Boston Conservatory of music, second in the nation next to Julliard for studying the arts. I was excited, enthralled, ready.

Up to that point nothing had ever been able to break me. I was strong, confident in my abilities and with no room in my life for God. In fact, I couldn't see the need for him when he'd let my family suffer so--the year before my dad had been diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor, but I'd done just fine on my own and when anyone tried to speak to me about God, I argued.

I wrestled.

And one morning I woke up to the oddest discovery--my voice was gone. Instantly, and without warning--gone.

The diagnosis? Vocal nodules.

The treatment? Vocal therapy and five weeks (FIVE!) where I could not speak or whisper.

Suddenly the only thing I'd ever had confidence in, what I'd used to define myself, was gone. With no voice to argue back, one of my dearest friends finally shared the gospel with me. This time I heard her. This time I understood...I could see.

He'd broken me in my strongest place and taken away the very thing that gave me security, so I could finally see Him, see myself, see the truth.

Jacob gained a new identity the night he wrestled with God--Israel--and later that next day, he gained a new family. Jacob, clearly humbled in a way Essau could see, reconciled with his long lost brother.

The night my friend shared the gospel with me, I gained a new identity, and a new family. I was grafted in through Christ. Adopted. Accepted. Loved.

I wonder if like me, Jacob ever looked back to ask what would have happened had God not broken him. I do. I knew the pain I was in, the things I'd used to quench a thirst for something more. And I thank God because I know where my life was headed had a loving, graceful God not interfered.

Sometimes it's the strongest places that need to be broken in order for us to really see.

He broke me to save me. He broke me because He cares.

God's road

2011-08-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

8 And a great road will go through that once deserted land.

It will be named the Highway of Holiness.

Evil-minded people will never travel on it.

It will be only for those who walk in God’s ways;

fools will never walk there.

9 Lions will not lurk along its course,

nor any other ferocious beasts.

There will be no other dangers.

Only the redeemed will walk on it.

Isaiah 35

My husband and I were on our way to Missouri to see his grandmother. We'd left late and found ourselves driving with weary eyes and dark roads. Traveling along a major highway, we accidentally took a detour and found ourselves lost...very lost. It was evening and because we were in the country, hardly a headlight or streetlamp was lit. The only thing guiding us were the headlights on our own car and the occasional glimpse of the road ahead. The sides were lined with trees that were thick and ominous, and the few houses we passed looked like scenes from a horror movie.

It was then that I started to get scared. What if we got a flat tire out here? What if our car breaks down? Would we be safe? I turned to Kevin who was calm and collected and he reassured me that the way was clear and eventually this had to lead to a main road or highway. I relaxed, and sure enough, that little road emptied out to the highway again.

Life feels a little like that sometimes. Things seem dark and ominous and sometimes we just feel lost---scared about the unknown. That's what was most scary on that tiny road in Missouri--the unknown. What was behind those trees? What was lurking in the dark? I imagine this is how the Israelites felt as God created a path through the Red Sea, turning to see the fierce and looming water on each side that could, in an instant, crush them.

But God promised us something. A clear path. A path that, though it might be full of dangers around it, wouldn't devour us. The path that we walk, when we accept his salvation and walk in it, is not a path of scary unknowns. It's a path set out for us in love. Like the Israelites path through the Sea, those waves are held back from those He loves.

While that doesn't mean we won't face hardships and pain, it means that like those waves, they do not have the power to crush us. He makes a way through the pain and loss to perfect grace and love.

Beautiful Letdown

2011-08-18T08:06:00.000-07:00

Song of Solomon 1:15
How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves.

Yesterday my girlfriends and I went to a place called "Painting with a Twist." The twist is that you all learn to paint one picture, but you're own way. That particular night, we learned to paint a ballerina.

In my mind's eye, I knew what she would look like. The instructor was using primary colors but I wanted soft blues and teals. The instructors painting had her hair up but I thought her hair should be down and billowing wildly behind her. I wanted her to look whimsical.

When we were done we all compared our paintings---shocker! They all looked different. Unique. Everyone had put their own twist on their painting. I looked at my ballerina and all I saw was beauty. Granted, I'm no Renoir or anything close to that, but I had created her....and it gave me extreme joy to see that, flaws and all.

I mean, sure her leg was a bit awkward, and she was a bit disproportionate but she was beautiful nonetheless. Possibly more beautiful because she was not perfect. It is through her imperfections, through her uniqueness that you could see who created it. There was a bit of me in her, and a bit of my friends in their own paintings. That's why every painting in the room looked so different. The artist always shows through the art.

I wondered, could this be how God thinks of us? Not perfect by the worlds standards perhaps, but perfectly imperfect to Him? A beautiful letdown of sorts. Could it be that our flaws and foibles might just make us all the more beautiful?

I think so.

Because where our flaws are visible is where He makes Himself known. Where our weaknesses are, His strength shines through. Where the canvas of our perfectly placed facades are rent and torn, they are the holes through which His grace is visible.

The Creator always shines through the created.

And that's beautiful.

Love.

2011-08-16T08:30:00.000-07:00

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

~John 10:10~

Lately I've felt lost in a sea of useless information. I've felt dissatisfied with answers, answers to the one of the biggest questions we ask as humans: What matters? What should matter to me? What will bring me happiness?

I want to find ultimate happiness, that elusive thing called joy...but deeper than that.

Abundant Life.

Yes, I want abundant life, the kind Jesus promised.

But I've been so dissatisfied with everything. Dissatisfaction consumes me and dulls my ear, dulls His voice. So it is with an acme anvil that God answers my question. And not just one answer, the answer.

36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:36-40

Love God. Love Others.

Only two commandments.

It occurs to me that my thirst for full life has been focused on inanimate objects, as in "not alive". Joy has been elusive because I have been looking in all the wrong places. Objects that seem to promise satisfaction but cannot, because ultimately at the end of all things, they will wilt away. They are not permanent.

But God is. And People are.

It occurs to me slowly that the only two permanent things that will make it from this world to the next, are the Creator, and the created. And so I realize that my treasures, the ones Jesus tells us to store up in Heaven have to be people. People!

And I whirl around as the faces of those I love spin in my minds eye. All around, people, amazing people! People to love, and hold, and laugh, and cry with. People who have lifted me up and given me the honor of returning the favor. People who have believed in me when I did not even believe in myself. People.

And God. God who made people, who made me. Who made everything I see. Who loves me and others with an everlasting love. The God-man, Jesus, who was tortured, ridiculed, and died so that I could talk to the Father once more. Who conquered death so I could too.

And I realize, ashamed, that I have not always loved His people.

I've viewed them as avenues to get somewhere, to get something. I have pitied them and sympathized, but I have not loved with all I am. I have not loved them well. But Jesus only gave us two things to do while here....the most important things anyone can do while living in a foreign world that is so far from Edenic.

Today I make a decision, a simple choice. Love. It's always a choice--we always have a choice.

My treasures now, they will be people.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another. John 13:34-35

Out of love for the Father will flow a love for those He loves. And my heart, it suddenly feels oddly lighter, easier, happier. Why?

Because by accepting this truth, I'm letting lies go. Lies about what I'm responsible for. Lies about what brings happiness.

I'm empting my hands of all false pursuits to receive a gift, a revelation that's lighter than the weight I bore before.

Could the answer to the abundant life be that simple? Yes, I think it is. The answer my friends, is love.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

A Choice...

2011-08-15T15:50:00.000-07:00

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.

~Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

Life lately has been full of situations in which I feel powerless. Powerless to change things, things I wish with my whole heart were different. Death, illness, stress, accusations, pain, heartache, loneliness, grief--the flood feels at times overwhelming--impossible even.

Many of you may be facing similar circumstances. The thin places, places where the storm threatens to drown you, and yet we have a simple choice. Trust God and sleep through it or rail against it. Railing can be tiring and in the end, we're no farther ahead.

Through these times of trial and testing, a constant truth has emerged.

I cannot change others, but I can change the way I react.

I cannot change a circumstance, but I can change my attitude and my response.

And I can do all this through a grace-filled God who strengthens me in my weakness.

This is freedom. This means that even if your situation stays constant for awhile, even if that family member continues to be unchanged (and drives you crazy), even if your life isn't panning out the way you planned it; that promotion doesn't come or you what you think your dream job is slips right through your fingers, you can still choose life.

You can choose to turn to God and give it to him, or you can choose to continue on in worry and anxiety. You can choose to set healthy biblical boundaries, or to continue sitting in miserable relationships. You can choose to trust that He is capable of giving you every good thing, or lament in what you are missing.

The choice is always ours.

Those thin places, those places where we feel stretched beyond what we can handle are simply reminders that we've been given a choice; life or death.

Today I have a choice. I choose to be responsible for only what I can--myself. I choose to rely on a God that provides for my every need. I choose to sleep through the storm in the peaceful arms of Christ who calms it.

What will you choose? What false responsibility have you been carrying? What burdens are you ready to lay down?

Deuteronomy 30:19 This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.

Your Body, His Temple

2011-07-28T13:21:00.000-07:00

19 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Genesis 1:31 tells us that at the end of the sixth day, after the animals were created, after we were created, before He rested God took a look at all He had made and called it "good." The Hebrew word there for "good" is "tuwb" (Strongs 2898) and God uses it again in Exodus 33:19 to describe Himself. It's also found in Psalms 31:19 and is used as one of God's characteristics. The word "tuwb" is found in 10 more verses, all either describing God's character or the things God provides (which are "good.")

Now we all know what happened next; the fall, and thus the brokenness of His creation. All was not "good" anymore.

Ever since then we have been in the midst of a grand story of redemption that ended with the Last Adam, Jesus Himself, dying for our brokenness and conquering death. His mission, and God's ultimate goal; to restore creation to it's original design.

In the Old Testament, because of our brokenness, God could not dwell with us. Where He once walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day, He chose to dwell in the tabernacle and then in Solomon's temple, both made with the specifications He ordered. Solomon's temple according to 1 Kings 7, was bronze and gold gilded, filled and furnished with only the best. It was not just functional and practical.....it was grand, it was ornate, it was beautiful.

When Jesus restored creation, God could finally again dwell with mankind, and instead of an ornate temple He chose our hearts as His dwelling place, His Most Holy of Holies. The Hebrew word for heart ("lev") contains two Hebrew letters that create a word picture that literally means "house of the shepherd." That means our bodies are his temple and while they are functional and practical, they are also ornate, made by His detailed eye, and most of all beautiful. Our bodies are "good" in every sense that God is good.

He made you---all of you, including the physical parts. If 1 Kings 7 teaches us anything it is this; that we serve a God who is not only concerned with the practical and functional, but with the smallest details and with beauty. There were things in Solomon's temple that did not serve any other purpose than to be beautiful. They served no practical or functional purpose other than to glorify God.

There is still a worldview in Christianity that teaches that even after salvation our bodies are and will always be dirty, evil, and prone to sin. That our bodies are only vessels and that we should feel shame and guilt if we find anything good in them, that they are merely functional and practical instead of magnificently detailed and beautiful.

This view which we can call for all intents and purposes spiritualism, discounts God's original intent for the Earth. The Earth, and everything in it, was once called "good" and we were meant to have dominion over it. The solution is both here and futuristic; at the end of ages the permanent solution is not for us all to live happily ever after in heaven as spiritual beings. Revelation makes it quite clear: eventually there will be a new heaven and earth--His kingdom will be here. Eventually what is tangible and earthy, and what is spiritual will be fused together as one, as it was intended to be.

Spiritualism is a twisted truth that glorifies our spiritual side and minimizes our human (earthly) one. It sounds good, to discount everything in light of a higher, more spiritual calling, but it was not God's original intent. Both sides of who we are, the temporal earthly one, and the spiritual one, were called good. To discount one for the other is to trivialize and minimize both God's creation and His intent for it.

It's implications are widespread and create much bondage...women trapped not only in head to toe burkahs, but villainized and shamed for their beauty. Teenagers who agonize in the mirror daily, maiming and starving themselves in a culture that's gone to the reverse. Women who believe their value lies in only their looks, lusted over and perverted by the men that use them.

The problem with an unbalanced worldview is the scales can tip either way. Spiritualism and Carnalism come from the same root problem: they each value a part of ourselves and discount the other.

Biblical Christianity is the balance of both. Understanding Jesus' redemption and restoration of original creation should not only give us the freedom to have a healthy respect and awe for God's craftmanship, but it should give us the ability to enjoy them in a healthy way as well. With that should come the understanding of God's future intent for creation--the marriage, once more of the earthly and the spiritual. A place where God can walk with man in the cool of the day, and where you can see "life" and "knowledge" hanging from trees.

What we have here is temporal, yes. It is not the finished design. Most certainly, it is not the end of the story. But you can't discount the middle of the book just for the ending. We are redeemed and restored, and most of all--called "good."

Genesis 1:31

³¹ God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

Money and Heart Matters

2011-07-21T19:52:00.000-07:00

I was twelve and we were traveling to a resort in Colorado. My dad, the ever adventurous driver had chosen the steep, windy road around the mountain. It encircled the bottom and creeped it's way up, and it felt like it would never end.

"She'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes..."

Remember that song? I sang it in the back of our Ford Econoline van ad naseum the whole way up --hey, it was catchy (my family would say, annoying.) I'd sing it again and again, louder and louder, until my mom kindly suggested "the quiet game." (I always lost at that.)

I don't know about you, but there have been points in my life where I felt like I continued "going around the mountain." It was a period of time where the same thing kept happening over and over again, and I found myself walking in circles instead of climbing to victory.

We've all been there.

Stuck.

We move forward but certainly not upward, and it seems like the valley will never end. For my husband and I the lesson at hand was finances. Kevin had grown up poor, and I'd grown up never really learning much about it, and so together we blindly led each other deeper and deeper into debt and financial ruin. When we finally had gotten low enough that we had exhausted asking family members, we went anywhere we could--church, friends.

And we were turned down, but not away. We were offered a different sort of help than simply a check, and we didn't want it.

So....can you guess what I'm going to say?

We went around the mountain again. This time felt like it would last forever and the valley (along with our hearts) became so dark that it was hard to see any hope. I cried out for days before I heard a still small voice.

Do you trust me.

Yes, Lord.

Nope, do YOU trust me.

This time He'd caught me. No, no I did not.

In fact, I didn't trust anyone to take care of me, BUT me. Long ago I'd made an inner vow about caring for myself that had me bound up and blind, and currently circling endlessly around a mountain that I was made to climb.

It was at that moment I knew, God didn't want my money....He wanted my heart.

Giving, stewardship--that was all an outward sign of an inward state of the heart and mine was ugly. It was distrustful, wounded, and walled off.

The best thing that ever happened to me was finally being told 'no' because it gave me the chance to evaluate my own walk, and to realize that I was finally done burrowing deep circles in the overtrodden path. I was ready to climb .

So-- climb I did.

God is patient you see. He isn't keeping us stuck because He's sadistic, in fact He isn't keeping us stuck at all. Our 'stuckness' actually has more to do with us, than with Him. A pastor once told me "God is a gentleman, He waits on us." James 4:8 says "Come near to God, and He will come near to you." He always waits for us to make the first move--gentle, kind and ever patient.

Do you feel like you're encircling your own mountain? Do you feel stuck? Abandoned? Confused? God hasn't forgotten you, nor is He torturing you. Step back from the situation and look deep into your heart--you may be suprised what you find there. Sometimes it is our hearts, it's judgements and vows, that keep us stuck right where we are. And the enemy---oh---he'd like to keep it that way.

But God, He is there, He is speaking.

Gently He is calling. Calling you to climb. Can you hear Him?

Spiritual Motivations

2011-06-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 23: 6 Do not eat the food of a begrudging host,
do not crave his delicacies;
7 for he is the kind of person
who is always thinking about the cost.
“Eat and drink,” he says to you,
but his heart is not with you.

“Do you do good because you are loved, or in order to be loved?”

~Lysa Terkeust

We've all encountered those that seem gracious but behind that honeyed countenance your spirit can feel something underneath, something that says "danger! something is amiss!" When I was little we had a (possibly politically incorrect) word for people like that: indian givers....people who might give you something but they'll ask for something in return, and when they do you may not like the price.

I was such a person.

In fact I grew up surrounded by the lie that you gave to receive. I'd give, but not freely. I'd serve, but not without expectations. I'd love (if you can call it that), but not without a price attached. I was loyal, but I demanded it in return. I craved all these things and more, because--

Underneath all of those false senses of entitlement and expectations was a little girl who wanted desperately to be loved, and based on the culture I'd grown up in, I thought I had to earn it. I thought everyone did. And so I did things to get things, and I grew increasingly upset when I did not receive in return, and all the while the hole within my heart grew.

Relationships became hard for me to engage in and keep. I felt empty. I was pouring out and not getting anything back, and this left me frustrated, bitter, and most of all exhausted. What was I doing wrong? What was wrong with me?

Lysa Terkeust recently wrote a devotional for Encouragement for Today about spiritual motivation that specifically addresses this topic.

Doing something “so that we’ll be loved” is a trap many of us can get caught in. When I do something because I’m trying to get someone else to notice me, appreciate me, say something to build me up, or respect me more, my motives get skewed.

I become very “me” focused. I put unrealistic expectations on myself and the other person. And I can get stinkin’ angry when I don’t feel more noticed, appreciated, or respected.

I can get all twisted up and take my frustration out on myself and that person in an unfair way. I typically sabotage my own efforts and bend to discouragement and defeat.

But, doing something because I am loved is incredibly freeing.

I don’t view the relationship from the vantage point of what I stand to gain.

Instead, I look at what I have the opportunity to give. I am “God focused” and love directed. I keep my expectations in check. And I am able to lavish the grace I know I so desperately need. I live free from regret with clarity of heart, mind, and soul.

I was a girl who gave to get because I didn't understand that I already had.

God freely gave me His forgiveness and unconditional love, and here I was still trying desperately to earn it. It is little wonder that I became bitter, disillusioned, and angry at both the world and God.

There is a saying, "You cannot give what you do not posess." You cannot give out love, if you are empty. I was empty. And all I was giving out was a counterfeit version of the love that God intended.

That all changed once I really understood whose I was and therefore who I was. As I begin to be poured into and accept what was always available, I could pour out without expectations. I freely received and so freely gave.

Maybe you've been trying to earn love and approval too. Maybe you grew up in a family that demanded that you earn their affections....and now you wonder why relationships are so hard to keep. You wonder why you feel empty and poured out and why you never feel poured into. If you find that describes how you feel, simply ask Him, who freely gives, to show you the lies you've believed and the false motivations. I pray that God would give you a revelation of who He truly is and what is available for you--unconditional love, acceptance, and grace.

Psalm 23:6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

The Cycle of Deprivation...

2011-06-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

Isaiah 64:6
We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.

You've done it, I've done it. There's a food, habit, or thing you know needs to come out of your life and so you vow to try to remove it. You do well the first few days, but then something bad happens....your car breaks down, family drama arises, or you just have a bad day and (you know what I'm going to say next...) you fail. Again. And you feel horrible.

It's a really nasty cycle....one that keeps us feeling hopeless...one that perpetuates guilt, shame, and a feeling of failure. The thing about cycles is that they are, well, cyclical...they can go on forever.

It starts with restricting something. The problem isn't in the act of restricting itself....it's the root issues behind it. Ex. If I love cupcakes and I run to them everytime I have a bad day...and I tell myself "I'll never do that again, no more cupcakes!" I'm really avoiding the true issue here. The issue isn't the cupcakes at all. Cupcakes are neither good nor bad....it's that I've run to them for comfort instead of God. If I continue to avoid the true issue I've set myself up for failure because when you use the law to restrict something, human nature tends to want it all the more.
When we restrict something, we're declaring that we can do this all on our own strength..and so we grit our teeth and say triumphantly we're going to change. Since we've already glossed over the real issue....gritting our teeth works for a bit. But then, oh then, the siren call of the cupcake (insert your kryptonite here) calls and...
Because we've done it in our own strength and we've felt deprived, and we don't just give in to our "temptation," we gorge.
Guilt and Shame are right there to comfort us as we fall and with that, an extreme sense of failure. This sense of failure leaves us empty and bereft, causing us to seek comfort yet again in the very thing we've promised ourselves we'd give up.

Nasty right? Frustrating, definitely! So how do we get out of this cycle? The answer is three little letters: G-O-D.

There are few points we must consider about whatever it is that needs to change:

Is the thing that I'm restricting something that's inherently bad in itself...or is there a deeper issue?
If you find the answer to question 1 is that there is an underlying issue, this is the time to seek counsel and God about what that may be.

Doing these things and posing these questions breaks the cyclical nature of deprivation. Paul said that the Law was death. Living our lives based on "this is good, or this is bad" without investigating the core issues that drive us will leave us feeling deprived, guilty, and full of frustration.

So maybe now you're thinking, alright, how do I about finding the root?

He reveals deep and mysterious things and knows what lies hidden in darkness, though he is surrounded by light.
Daniel 2: 22

God is faithful. There are things hidden deep within our own hearts that even we may be unaware of, but it is not His heart to keep us in the dark about them. Journal, pray, or seek someone who can help you get to a place where you hear God for yourself. He has the answers, and He's still speaking today. Getting to the root of our issues will break the nasty cycle that is deprivation and replace it with grace, enjoyment, and the power to walk in freedom.

Continue below to see a testimony of God once again breaking the nasty cycle of deprivation and giving someone freedom!

"Since I was diagnosed with PCOS/insulin resistance in 2007, in order for me to lose weight, I have had to drastically cut down the sugar I ingest to almost nothing (which is healthy for me, anyhow!). This has caused me to look at sugar as "bad". Every time I try to lose weight, as soon as I give my self permission to eat anything with sugar again, I feel as though I cheated and then eventually go back to my poor eating habits again.

As I was spending time with God this morning (and drinking coffee with French Vanilla creamer...sugar!), I felt like I was cheating again. God then spoke something to me that I'll never forget. He told me that it's not a sin for me to drink this in the morning, and it's not wrong to enjoy it. This may sound over-simplified and strange to someone else, but this was a HUGE revelation for me. God gave me permission to drink coffee with my favorite creamer in the morning! When He spoke that to me, it showed me that I keep failing in this area, because I have looked at sugar as a sinful. It's not. Now, I can enjoy a little here and there and know it's not a sin - which will enable me to live in freedom without feeling like I've failed (thus giving up again).

Praise God for showing me that it's not wrong to enjoy things. It sounds so simple, but this has been such a huge revelation for me!"

Functionality vs. Pleasure

2011-06-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

Psalm 84:11

For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no goodthing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless.

I tend towards function. When I look at an object, if it doesn't have a specific use, it's discarded. My life is well organized and everything I do has a purpose to it. My husband is a free spirit, enjoying life's luxuries as they come and ... in the beginning this drove me insane. He could stop and smell the roses without going through a mental to-do list! I couldn't. He knew how to relax, he knew how to enjoy the moment. I find similarly, like my marriage that there are also two schools of thought on what Christians can and cannot do. One is functional, the other less so. One focuses on rules, the other on relationship.

The first bible fellowship we attended had a discussion along these lines and the subject was alcohol. Alcohol, some argued, wasn't inherently bad in itself, but as Paul said "not everything is beneficial" and the negative affects (when taken out of moderation) far outweighed the good. Somehow though that first part "everything is permissible" was forgotten... lost in the banter of conversation until someone reminded all of us that a cupcake isn't very beneficial either (with little to no nutritional value), but it's oh-so-good!

Could it be that there are some things in this life that serve no other purpose than for our enjoyment? Could we have a Father so loving that some things (in moderation) are simply for our pleasure?

Jesus' first miracle is a great example of the abundance of God's love for his people. He's at a wedding and they are out of wine. Now, you have to ask yourself two questions here:

Is wine actually a necessity in a wedding?
What was wine used for in a wedding (lest we resort to saying it was used to purify their water, consider that in John 2:10 not only does Jesus turn water into wine but he turns it into GOOD wine...).

I doubt that Jesus was asserting His authority here so much as He was simply sharing in the love of the Father by watching His people enjoy themselves. Jesus kept the party going.

What I'm not advocating is drunkenness (or gluttony)...that's a whole other post. However, a lesson God is teaching me is that some things are purely for enjoyment. It's okay to enjoy one glass of wine, or take a few minutes from work to spend time with the people around you, or leave the cleaning for tomorrow and enjoy a night out on the porch---or to have a cupcake (but just one! Our body is a temple!) All work and no play isn't what God ever intended for His children just as many of us wouldn't intend that for ours

Restriction and legalism are lies perpetuated by the enemy and the very things Jesus came to set us free from. When your focus is rules, life become only about function--what you can and cannot do, but when life is about relationship, a relationship with a Father bent on giving every good thing, life becomes about love--a love so vast that you can't help but give away in the overflow. Doing what is right naturally flows out of that love, not because we are sticking to the rules but because we love a Father who gives good things!

I spent time with a good friend and as we watched her little boy play she smiled and said "I love to watch him have fun. I love to watch him enjoy all the things that seem so mundane to us now." As she spoke, I couldn't help but feel that God sings this over each of us daily. Not everything is about work and function...some things were made simply for us to enjoy and it makes life that much more beautiful.

*Special thanks to my wonderful husband who is teaching me slowly but surely how to relax and enjoy life so I don't miss it!

Another Onion Layer Deep....

2011-05-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

Shrek: For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think.
Donkey: Example?
Shrek: Example... uh... ogres are like onions!
Donkey: Oh, you leave 'em out in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little white hairs... Shrek: [peels an onion] NO! Layers. Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers.

I looked down at the sweet card someone had given me, and inside was what they thought would be a compliment. It went something like "no matter what you do, you are always just 'you' and I love that."

My heart wrenched inside. Me? But I don't even want to be me....I don't even like "me."

It was a suprise attack. Somehow I hadn't know those feelings were there...at least not in a way I could articulate them. I knew that there was this gnawing sensation that something was wrong in the last few months but I couldn't quite place what it was.

My first reaction was annoyance...

God, haven't we already been through this before? You've told me I'm valuable, I've listened, and I've gained some freedom here and there. Don't tell me we need to go there again!

Silence.

He didn't need to tell me, because I already knew. It was time to go one more onion layer deep. It was time to peel back some more lies and wounds. Kicking and screaming the whole way, I went, knowing that it'd be painful, annoyed that I could no longer hide what had been festering for so many years.

When I was little I can remember wanting nothing more than to simply fit in...the way most children do. Sticking out meant taunting, teasing, and shame. I had a good helping of that--shame. I was ashamed that I was (at that time) taller than anyone else, I was ashamed that I seemed to have different interests than other girls. The world around me told me who I was and I listened and believed them, and eventually I accepted that not only was there nothing special about "me", but that being me was the real problem.

So I tried to fit a mold. I tried and acted and finally threw my hands up in exhaustion. Trying to be like someone else is the most tiring thing I've ever tried to do, and the most unproductive. It was reading that card that day that finally let me put words to the shame I'd felt for so many years.

And then God brought to mind all those in my life who had affected mine simply by being themselves---a Pastor who believed in me, a friend who'd encouraged me and trusted me enough to be completely open and silly, a friend's parents who'd taken me in when I felt like my own family was in complete turmoil, the girl in my class who was kind and compassionate towards everyone....the list could go on and on, and as God kept bringing people to my memory...people that changed me...I realized that by not being myself, I was robbing others of the same thing I so treasured. I could make a difference to someone, I could affect them, just by being who God created me to be. In fact, that was His very purpose. Wow. At that moment I thanked God for his redundancy. Annoyance melted into thankfulness.

My friend told me a story the other day about her little girl. She'd fallen face first into the bathtub and swallowed water. My friend had picked her up and on her bare skin had hit her back over and over again, trying to make her cough up what she'd swallowed. I'm sure that hurt, and I'm sure that little girl was wondering why her mom was doing that, even though her mom was simply trying to give her what she desperately needed and keep her from harm. I felt like that at first...I didn't want to go there...I didn't want to hurt. But I realize now what my friend's little girl couldn't yet...that I was drowning and that God was simply giving me what I needed and keeping me from harm.

He knew what I needed before I asked, He always does. Today I'm thankful that God made me....me! (again!) And I'm thankful that God knew I needed to go around the mountain one more time, no matter how painful, to get there.

Understanding Inner Vows

2011-05-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

I don't do what I want to do. Instead, I do what I hate to do. ¹⁶ I do what I don't want to do.

Romans 7:15-16

Have you ever caught yourself saying something like "I'll never be as angry as my father" or "I'll never be fearful like my Aunt" and yet found yourself struggling with the very things you vowed you wouldn't? I have. I'll never be fearful like my grandmother, I'll never have a temper like my dad, I'll never be like my good-for-nothing Uncle. And yet no matter how much we promise ourselves we won't, we end up doing exactly what we don't want to do. Why is that?

Let's do an experiment.

Don't think about the color Green.

Did you think about green? Or did your thoughts go something like green, oh crap no, blue.

Don't think about chocolate chip cookies?

Hungry yet?

Don't think about baseball.

..........

Yah..... I thought so.

The human brain cannot conceive of negatives. When you promise yourself you won't do something, that something organizes the rest of your thought life. When we promise ourselves not to be like "___" or do "___" those things stay at the forefront of our mind and as we continue to ponder on them, we make the problem worse and we become what we don't want to.

These negatives are called "inner vows,"- internal promises we make to ourselves that stem out of negative experiences. Inner vows cause us to define ourselves by what we are not, or by what we don't do, which is as we saw in our experiment above--impossible for our brains to understand.

So what's the answer?

We shift our focus off of defining ourselves by what we aren't or don't want to do and define ourselves by who we are and what God already did for us. There are models out there for how to break an inner vow, but the most important thing we can ever do is take the matter to God, who's ready and willing to demolish vows, judgements, or strongholds, AKA. to heal anything in our lives stopping us from being who we were created to be. This requires us to be familiar with Hearing His Voice, but that's content for a different post.

Inner vows hold us in a prison defined by our negative experiences. By thinking differently about what has happened to us and shifting our focus off the problem and onto the Problem Solver, we break the hold that inner vows have and we're released to be who God created us to be.

Okay, now I really want a chocolate chip cookie!

Expectations

2011-05-09T10:51:00.000-07:00

"The greatest lesson of relationship
is to learn to love without pain.
Pain is the result of unmet expectations,
of entering a relationship with the need to get
rather than simply enjoy."
~ from 'Cease To Need' by Almine ~

Your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
Matthew 6:8

Maybe I'm the only one whose ever thought their husband can read their mind, but I doubt it. And I cannot possibly be the only one who's sat arms folded and pouty faced when my unvoiced expectations were unmet, all the while thinking "He should have known." Probably not.

Sound familiar? It's all about expectations isn't it? When I think about it, many of the frustrations that eventually led to fights started out with unrealistic or unvoiced expectations. I wanted my man to be the psychic knight-in-shining armor, ready to ride in and meet my need without ever having to say it. Saying it, in my mind would kill that romantic affect (and I know I can't be the only woman who's felt this way!)

Deep within me is the desire for someone who will know what I want before I even voice it, and will come in to my rescue just when I need it. But like me, many women put this desire towards the men in their life--and that's where all the frustration stems from.

The desire I just described is biblical. The problem? That desire should lead us towards a God who knows exactly what we need before we ask ( Matthew 6:8) and who's able to be our Rescuer, because He's the only One capable of meeting our needs.

Between romantic novels, chic flicks, and Fabio like heroes, the lie that has weasled itself into our feminine hearts is that we need a man to save us. The world has deceived us and generations of women have grown up frustrated and disillusioned by ill-placed expectations. Placing those expectations back in the right place affords us two things:

to position ourselves in correct alignment with the men in our lives.

to position ourselves in right relationship with the ONE able to meet and exceed our desires.

By aligning our hearts in right relationship to God, we're able to have our needs met in a realistic way--leaving us to enjoy our relationship with our husbands. (Men, can I get a hallelujah!) From their perspective, it's exhausting to try to be anyone's everything. That Fabio-like hero thing? Over-rated! By taking that burden off our men, we can finally just enjoy our relationships. (and let's be honest---they can then enjoy us--we're much nicer when our needs are being met by the One who can actually meet them.)

And for all the single ladies: ill-placed expectations can be in any relationship from kids, to siblings, to parents and friends. Nobody can meet our needs like our God can and nobody can save like Jesus does.

So next time you find yourself in a hurumph! because a need has gone unmet, ask yourself this: Is my need something my husband (insert other relationship here) can meet, or is this something I need to take to God? Believe me when I say that more often than not, it's the latter.

Thoughts on OBL

2011-05-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you..
Matthew 5:43-44

I was watching a movie (ironically, one about a news show) when we got the call.

"Turn on the news! Osama Bin Laden is dead!"

But I didn't--turn on the news that is.

I continued watching my movie, knowing that tomorrow and the next day I'd hear plenty about OBL and his death and probably more than I'd really want to.

And of course, it was everywhere--how they found his location, how they gunned him down, how long they'd known about his whereabouts (and don't even get me started on why it took so long to act), etc, ad nauseum. There were pictures of people outside the White House yelling and follicking in happiness at the thought that one of the world's most well-known (and elusive) terrorists was now dead. But somehow I wasn't moved with joy.

I thought about it. What would his death really mean in terms of my life? My day would go on just as it would normally--work, home, cooking, laundry, sleep--wash and repeat. I looked on headlines like "Death of Osama heals old wounds," and I couldn't help but think that reveling in the death of a man (even a mass murderer) wouldn't make the cycle of hate stop, nor truly heal anyone's wounds, and where one terrorist has been put to death, there are so many more left to conquer. Osama's death was a battle won, a symbolic one, but it isn't even close to winning the war.

And while I agree that the world may be safer (for now), a wise Pastor I know quipped "he was a starfish, not a spider." The difference? A starfish can have any member cut off and it simply regrows. Hate begets hate. It's a nasty cycle and Osama's death can't change it. In fact, where he died there are hundreds more ready and willing to take his place. We're no safer in reality than we were three days ago.

I digress, so what are we really talking about here?

What I am not saying is that we should all be sad that OBL is dead or in some way feel sorry for him, or discount the affect he had on thousands of people's lives.

What I am asking is for us to think differently about the meaning of his death. What we should all be sad at is what still lives. The demonic whisper that hate is still the answer is alive and well. It's on facebook and twitter--it's on the TV and in newspapers, it's in our schools and our churches. We cannot help what others do, but we can choose how we respond to it. If we respond with hate, we simply keep the cycle in motion. The enemy would revel in that.

I think we have to ask ourselves one question when we respond to the death of people like OBL as Christ followers: Does our response empower the Kingdom of God, or just the opposite? Are we continuing the cycle of hate, or stopping it in its tracts (I'd like to think the latter)?Are we spamming the internet with scornful (and tasteless) jokes and jargon---facebook and twitter this week will testify to that--or are we somber in the face of any man's death since it is the Lord who gives and takes life. ( Job 1: 21 The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.)

How we respond matters deeply and it sends a message to people, whether we want it to or not. We empower one kingdom or another with our words, written or spoken. (Proverbs 18:21) If Jesus's life (death and resurrection) taught us anything it's this: you can't fight fire with fire. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind, it does, really! We can't stop the cycle of hate by hating more......we have to counter it with Love of God. As people of God our responses should well up out of the love we've been given.

Osama's death may have been justice, but take into account the death of Saul in the OT. Saul was David's archenemy so to speak, but even when Saul finally died, David's response was somber. Notice again and again when enemies are defeated in the OT, it was always the Lord who got credit for it and it was Him they praised. (Kingdom Focused)

While one terrorist is dead, there's only One Man's death (and resurrection) that ended the cycle of darkness and made it possible for us to be truly alive. His Kingdom is love, His message is life, and He's the only One that can turn darkness into light, truly heal our wounds and transform mourning into joy. If our response doesn't reflect Him, than we are the ones who've lost the battle this time.

The Royal Calling

2011-04-29T09:05:00.000-07:00

Romans 8:17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

When I was little I loved to play dress-up, particularly by getting into my mom's lingerie closet. She had these long silk gowns in all different colors, some decorated with beading and pearls, others with delicate lace. I loved to don these with some of her costume jewelry. They enveloped my little frame, but I felt important and royal and sometimes I'd even pretend I was a princess, waving to my teddy bears and dolls as if they were my subjects. There was something about royalty and fairy tales that tugged at my little heart, something deep, something true.

And you don't have to be a child to still fall in love with the fairy tales. Today everywhere you look you're sure to see the excitement and bustle that happens during a royal wedding. People in every country, on every continent, of every age got up (or stayed up) to watch the first royal wedding in decades. There's something truly captivating about watching a fairy tale unfold right in front of us. It tugs at our hearts and captures our imaginations in a way that other affairs do not.

But why? Could it be that it somehow calls to a deeper part of our identity? Could it be that it calls out something that's true about each one of us? The Word tells us that because of Christ, we're no longer slaves, but sons (and daughters) of the King. (Rom 8:15ff) That makes us all princes and princesses--which makes us royalty. In fact, one day we're promised to reign as co-heirs with Christ! (2 Timonthy 2:11-12, Rev 22:4-6)

Deep within each of us is the truth--that we were made for more than this. God has set that desire within each of us so that we can know that this is not our home, this is not the place nor the position we were made for. It is a purposeful yearning, placed there by a loving Father (Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has also set eternity in the human heart) that brings us to this conclusion-we're not made for this world. We were made for so much more.

So while you watch Kate walk down the isle, and ooh and ahh over her royal wedding dress, remember that one day soon Jesus will also come for His Bride and we'll reign with Him in glory, a glory that will so far exceed any wedding or affair we'll ever imagine or know. Sarah Crewe's character in A Little Princess echoes what God longs to whisper to us daily:

You are a princess. All girls are. Even if they live in tiny old attics. Even if they dress in rags, even if they aren’t pretty, or smart, or young. They’re still princesses. All of us.
~A Little Princess (the movie)

On Needles and Perspective

2011-04-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

Matthew 10:39

Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

I hate needles, I always have. I get it...they can be life saving, but to me they are terrifying shards of sharp metal that if I had my way wouldn't get anywhere near my epidermis. When I was little I was so fearful, I'd start crying in the car on the way to the doctor's office. To convince me to sit still my mom would turn my head and say "Look at me! Focus on me..." and then she'd make a silly face or tell me a story and I'd barely even notice the tiny prick that followed.

Life's alot like that. Have you ever found yourself late at night unable to sleep and obsessing about the thousands of things you have on your plate that day? I have, so many times. There are so many problems daily that pull for our attention that it's hard to focus on anything else, but focusing more on the problem doesn't make it go away--most of the time it only makes it worse because it becomes all we see.

This was Jesus' point. The more we focus on our own life, the more it becomes all we can see--every problem, every trial, every situation is magnified times 100 and suddenly we're lost in a labyrinth of problems and emotions that we can't seem to navigate our way out of. We get tunnel vision.

Jesus told us the way out-- "Seek first the Kingdom," "Lose your life"--shift our focus. By doing so we broaden our perspective and can see things the way they truly are and we also align ourselves to be in right relationship with our Creator, becoming more who we really are.

The view from the Mountain and the Valley are vastly different. One breeds hope, the other despair. By shifting from focusing on our problems to focusing on the Kingdom of God, we begin to truly find freedom, and that's beautiful.

It's okay to be me...

2011-04-07T09:40:00.000-07:00

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955

My husband and I were driving in the car listening to some soft Christian music. I could tell, as many women can with their husbands, that something was eating at him.

"What's wrong?" I asked. He shifted in his seat..

"Why do you listen to this?"

"What do you mean?"

"This! This soft elevator music."

Now I was really confused...I didn't understand how my choice in music could possibly bother him this much.I shrugged and turned the station, but I was still puzzled.

Fast forward to the present. I was commenting on how I wasn't exactly the "happy cheerleader type" and sometimes that made me feel...different and to me different came with another connotation...."bad". He turned to me, pulled me close and said, "That's exactly why I married you. You're different and I love that."

And I heard God softly whisper-- See, that's exactly how I feel about you.

For years, I'd assumed that I had to fit a certain mold. So I changed the music I listened to, the clothes I wore, and anything that didn't fit with what I saw around me. I thought I had to change, and I thought God wanted me to. So I shifted my image...but somewhere in the process I lost a piece of myself and my husband could see it. That's why he was commenting on my switch in music--he was calling me out. What he couldn't articulate was something like "Hey, I know you hate this type of music, you like something else...why are you changing? For who?"

For who? For others. To fit in--because I cared immensely what people thought of me, but in so doing I had robbed the world of the unique perspective and gifts that God gave me to bring to the table. I had silenced myself in an attempt to be like everyone else.

I wonder how many women silence themselves in an effort to fit in--I wonder how many, like myself, think that different is bad. Look at nature: how many different flowers, animals, and fish are represented. Different isn't just good, it's God's plan! How boring if we all looked the same, talked the same, and liked the same things! What good is a body with fifty arms but no legs, hands, feet!

Today I stand and say that I'm different and I love it (side-note: God does too!) I have a unique perspective, unique giftings, and a unique personality that God gave me--and so do you!

There's a lie out there that we all have to be the same---that's straight from the enemy. He desires to steal, kill, and destroy all of God's unique creations and if he can't do that--he'll convince you to do it for him.

The truth is, the closer you get to God, the more like the real you, you become! Go to Him today and ask Him to help you reject the lie and accept the truth--it's okay to be you, in fact it's more than okay--it's beautiful.

Isaiah 62:3
You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.

In Rob Bell's book "Love Wins" we all lose...

2011-04-06T07:56:00.000-07:00

A staggering number of people have been taught that a select few Christians will spend forever in a peaceful, joyous place called heaven, while the rest of humanity spends forever in torment and punishment in hell with no chance for anything better…. This is misguided and toxic and ultimately subverts the contagious spread of Jesus’ message of love, peace, forgiveness, and joy that our world desperately needs to hear. ~Rob Bell

Since Rob Bell stepped onto the theological scene--I've been a fan. In fact I've enjoyed several of his recent books and videos. I love the honesty that he places within each one, that he isn't afraid to wrestle with the hard questions. So when I picked up Love Wins, despite the controversies and debate, I assumed that I was in for an interesting read.

Does a loving God really send people to hell for all eternity?

This is the question the book centers around. Bell struggles to reconcile a loving God with a just one and so Bell makes up a theology that's more palatable. Why he does this is clear--Bell's been hurt. He cites example after example of men and women who claimed the status Christian but whose actions were toxic and damaging. His spiritual wounds are open for the world to see--you can literally feel the hurt coming off the pages-- and it's clear that instead of finding healing, he's become bitter and disillusioned. I get that. I too grew up in a dead church full of judgment and hypocrisy, full of people who condemned instead of loved. It's one of the reasons I didn't become a Christian until I was 19 years old. But to understand how Christians should love, we need a good definition of Love.

Bell's book negates the one thing that truly makes love---love. A choice.

God could force us to love Him, but then it really wouldn't be love, it would be forced servanthood--true love is a choice we make and without that choice, we're really just predestined pawns. If God chooses for us, then the choices we make don't matter---and worse, our fate is already decided for us.

So does a loving God really send people to hell for all eternity?

The answer is no, but not for the reasons Bell cited. God doesn't send anyone anywhere-- in fact, He didn't even create Hell....that's a consequence of the fall. Our God puts a lot of emphasis on free-will. We're not pawns on a chessboard, or brainwashed servants. God gave us the ability to choose the life (and the death) we want. He's given us an option; a way out to the abundant life both in the now and the hereafter that He desires for us-----but it's our choice to accept it.

There are some questions that I'll nod in agreement with Bell on, like what about those who live in remote villages and have never gotten a chance to hear about Jesus, much less a chance to reject Him. Or will great men and women like Gandhi be in heaven? The answer--I don't know. But what I do know is this; that God gave us a gift--a gift that separates us from any other creature created. He gave us a will, the ability to choose, and it's up to us how we wield it.

If Rob Bell is right, if what we choose doesn't matter, than truly we all lose.

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.
Deuteronomy 30:19

A Healing Story

2011-03-28T16:04:00.000-07:00

Matthew 6:33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Psalm 103:2-4 2 Praise the LORD, my soul,and forget not all his benefits—3 who forgives all your sinsand heals all your diseases,4 who redeems your life from the pitand crowns you with love and compassion

I was different. At 13 I was already a freak by my peers standards--myself a head taller than any other kid in my class (which was taken care of because that year I stopped growing and settled at a nice 5'4 and 3/4) and if that wasn't enough to set me apart, I dealt with debilitating health problems; boils, skin rashes, insulin issues, stomach problems, weight gain. Everything around me, every interaction, every experience told me I was different and the message came loud and clear-- different was bad. To cope with the "different," I turned to food. Food was always there, and it never hurled hurtful words at me.

Around that time was when I started to have issues with my father. A daddy's girl at heart, my body was changing, my hormones were raging, and riding to Home Depot to look at tools wasn't as fun as it used to be. Prone to fits of rage, he'd throw hurtful words my way. Looking back I can see that he was hurting but all my little heart felt was more rejection. The message was still the same--you're different and different is bad. As we fought through my teenage years I continued to seek solace in food.

Fast forward to my now mid-twenties self and a routine doctor's appointment. The doctor had heard the issues that I still struggled with and suggested that all of it culminated from one disease--Celiacs. Celiac's is a disorder in which a person's body cannot tolerate a wheat protein called gluten and by the way--it's in everything! Though my health issues resolved, my life became focused around what I couldn't eat, which meant that my life was still focused around food. I made the most of it, learning to use different flours...in fact, I got used to it. You could even say I'd become content.

During a two-day ministry focused conference at our church, God started a conversation that went something like this.

What do you need physical healing from?

Nothing God, I got this. I feel pretty good!

You can't think of anything?

Uh--well, I've got Celiacs, but I'm scared to be healed from it.

Why is that?

If I'm healed, I'll have to face my food demons--I'm not so good with that ya know. Not having bread and pasta has worked out pretty good for me.

What if I want to heal you--what if I want to heal ALL your food issues? What if all you had to do was ask?

Alright God, I get it, tell me what I need to do to be healed.

Listen....

Right about that time one of our Pastor's was giving a talk on forgiveness, and so I listened intently. I realized right then that I had so much unforgiveness towards men--my dad in particular. I was holding my dad accountable for so much and even though he was gone, I couldn't seem to shake the bitterness. There were some inner vows there too--I'll never get close to a man again,--I'll never be acceptable.

When my Pastor talked about forgiveness, I heard it in a way I'd never understood before. Forgiveness was simply what I did with what was already done to me. I couldn't change my dad, and since he was gone I couldn't reconcile with him...but I could forgive him. I could lay down what he did and not hold it to his account--the very same thing Christ did for me. During the process I laid down the immense rejection and accepted God's truth--that I was His child and He loved me dearly.

Then I heard it--Go have a pizza, on me!

And so I did.

Two remarkable things happened that night. One, I didn't get sick--not even a bit. You have to understand that accidentally "glutening" myself before hand would have caused an immediate trip to the restroom, but not this time. Hour by hour passed and I felt great.

The second thing was that I didn't desire more than what made me full. Before, I couldn't stop at one piece of pizza, I had to five. I couldn't have one bowl of pasta, I had to have three. Food was an addiction, and the cycle of addiction consumed me, but food's hold over me had been broken and let me tell you--it felt good.

What God did that day was twofold. First, God saw something in me that I didn't even know about myself--that agreeing with the label "Celiac" and being restricted from my "trigger foods" was helping me avoid the root issue, the thing that I really needed healing from. Secondly, God showed me that He enjoys (as one Pastor put it) "healing my booboos."

Since then I've felt such freedom---eating just till I'm full and sampling foods I'd given up without even a hint of issues. I'm also continuing the dialogue that was started that day about food and He continues to help me understand and live out the freedom He's given me. I know that there will be temptations and other areas that need to be healed, but I feel confident that day I was changed forever. My heart lurches a bit as I type this because I know that there are people that have been pleading for physical healing for years with diseases more debilitating than my Celiacs and they still wonder when their healing will come. I don't have an answer for them. That's their journey, their story.

This is mine.

When God says something Crazy

2011-03-17T11:08:00.000-07:00

James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

Patrick was 16 the day his world changed. He was from a wealthy British family and enjoyed the life of the priveledged, until one fateful day when a group of Irish raiders attacked his family estate. He was sold immediately into slavery to a man named "Milchu" and spent the next six years serving others the way he'd been served for years.

He worked the land as a shepherd and spent much time alone and away from anyone he knew or loved. In what would have been a life spent in priveledge and merry-making, Patrick was alone, a bondservant, and scared for his life. In his anguish he turned to God, and just as God had done to Joseph, Patrick began to receive dreams and visions. Eventually Patrick was guided by a dream from God to leave Ireland. Once out of slavery, he enrolled in religious courses and then proceeded to return to the land and people that had once held him captive. With him he brought the truth of God's word and His love which subsequently changed Ireland forever.

I was 21 when my world changed. It was a pretty routine doctors appointment and I was simply going to check some things out. Suddenly the nurse walked in with a huge smile on her face and said "You're pregnant, isn't that great?!" That's the closest I've ever come to fainting and vomiting at the same time. I'd just married Kevin six months prior and a child was not on our "to do" list yet. Because of my irregularity, they immediately ushured me into a sonogram room and tried to look for the size and age of the baby while I was trying to adjust to the idea of being a young mom. Suddenly two more nurses flooded the room and they called the doctor in to look at the sonogram. I glanced from face to face trying to figure out what all the fuss was about, hoping to discern what their worried looks meant.

The nurses led me to another exam room and told me to wait for the doctor and that she'd explain everything. When she walked in, she sat solemly in front of me. I don't remember much of what was said other than that I was pregnant, that I was losing the baby as we spoke, and that it seemed like it was an ectopic pregnancy. They'd also noticed some cysts that needed to be checked just in case they were cancerous. The pain of what I'd just heard rose up in my chest and turned into sobs and when I stood up to ask for a glass of water, blood surrounded me and soaked through the gown I'd been asked to wear.

When I read the verse, shortly after my miscarriage, I laughed out loud. Consider it joy? Joy, God, really? You're off your rocker! You're crazy! How could I find something good out of what I'd just experienced? How could God be in this situation at all? For months I wallowed, played the victim, and pouted, angry that God would let me experience such pain, such unexpected pain. But as it turns out, God was there in the midst of my trial.

Once I stopped playing victim to my situation, He began to work. The miscarriage itself had actually clued me into a fertility problem that I had no idea I had. The cysts they found were not cancerous, but they were dangerous, and it's quite possible that having the miscarriage actually saved my fertility. Without it, I may have gone years thinking nothing was wrong. Since then I've gotten to minister to several women around me who've gone through something similar, coming along side them as someone who has been there and knew the pain.

Patrick had suffered greatly as a slave and captive to a nation he neither knew nor liked. He could have very easily played the victim, pouted, and wallowed . But instead he saw God in His circumstances, not that He had caused them, but that He could use them for good. He saw God in the midst of His suffering, and He let God weild his situation to fit His purposes. Patrick became the first man to successfully bring the Gospel to a mostly pagan nation. Just like my miscarriage, Patrick's servanthood was used to accomplish higher purposes.

God's heart is for us, and He would never wish suffering on us, nor would he cause it. But He can use it, He can redeem it. That's why James calls us to consider it pure joy, because like a grain of sand that's rubbed, molded, and irritated can blossom into a pearl, our suffering refines us, molds us, draws us closer to the One. Jesus told us there would be no lack of suffering in this fallen world, but there will soon be a world with none.

Happy St. Patrick's Day! While I'm not Catholic, I hope we all learn to see God's purposes in our suffering just as a young shepherd named Patrick did so many years ago. And remember, when God says something crazy, it's probably because it's true.

To read more about Patrick's journey, check out the translated version of his memoirs and letters to a friend here.

Blame and Control....

2011-02-03T12:16:00.001-08:00

“He is a refiner’s fire, and that makes all the difference. A refiner’s fire does not destroy indiscriminately like a forest fire. A refiner’s fire does not consume completely like the fire of an incinerator. A refiner’s fire refines. It purifies. It melts down the bar of silver or gold, separates out the impurities that ruin its value, burns them up, and leaves the silver and gold intact. He is like a refiner’s fire.

John Piper

It's Snow Day #3 here in Texas, and for my Nonna, that means Day #3 of cold temps, cloudy weather, and aching joints. She hates the cold and it makes her grumpy and today was the zenith of all her frustrations. I walked into the kitchen and I was unknowingly blindsided by her temper tantrum. She was angry and Italian curse words and name calling were flying around the room.

Normally I would have reacted in a similar fashion, trying to yell over her to be heard, but I found out long ago how little that helped the situation and God had been talking to me about responding to other people. So this time I believed I was responding right when I simply talked to her as calmly as I could, even though I was shaking with anger inside.

I walked away, patting myself on the back that I'd finally learned how to handle her outbursts, but as soon as I stepped foot upstairs, the tears came. Angry tears, along with feelings of hopelessness. I wanted to run away and never come back. I wanted not to care about who got her groceries or made sure her medications were being taken, or whether she ate home-cooked meals. But I couldn't do that, and that made the situation all the more desperate. Then I heard him.

What's the Lie?

Lie? Come on God, you and I have been through this! How many freedom classes and sessions did I need to go through! I got this....it's her fault I feel like this, go talk to her!

What's the Lie?

God, come on! I'm free! Go talk to her--she's the one in bondage! Everything is always someone else's fault, usually mine. She's the reason I feel like this!

And then I stopped....because I finally heard myself. I bet you can guess what I heard? Contradiction. Here I was blaming her for the way I was feeling because she was always blaming someone else--wow, even Dr. Phil would have trouble with that one!

I knew the lie--it was about who I was responsible for. The answer was me. I could only be responsible for my actions, my motivations, my heart. When we feel pain or unhappiness there are usually two routes we take that lead to bondage: to control others decisions, or to hold ourselves responsible for the decisions others make. Those routes come with two annoying traveling partners: blame and control. The road to freedom comes when we realize that the only person we're responsible for is ourselves. This is the road that leads us to forgiveness--to give others and their actions up to God and withhold any judgement both from ourselves and others.

With that weight off my shoulders, I'm free to not only respond to those who hurt me with love, but to break the cycle of blame and control that has lived in my family for as long as I can remember. I'm so thankful for a God that is continually refining the impurities and lies from my heart, even when I'm stubborn and cannot see them. Psalm 146:8 The LORD gives sight to the blind, the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down.

The Freedom to Lead A Nation....

2011-01-31T10:09:00.001-08:00

King George VI: L-listen to me... listen to me! Lionel Logue: Why should I waste my time listening to you? King George VI: Because I have a voice! Lionel Logue: ...yes, you do. 18 “The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free, 19 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Luke 4:17-19

Great Britain was in trouble. Set on the brink of war with Hitler, with King George V dead and his eldest son abdicating the throne all eyes were set on his second son: Albert, or to those closest to him, Bertie. But Bertie had a problem--he couldn't speak in public. His stammer was so bad that many times the only audible noises that came from his lips were odd guttural sounds. Radio and TV were quickly becoming the venue that royalty used to speak to their people, and with Albert's disability, the situation seemed hopeless. Enter Lionel Logue; for all accounts a nobody. Lionel was a no-named failed Australian actor who showed a keen interest in elocution. During the 1st World War he used his talents to help soldiers coming in from the field who were shell shocked. Many came back stuttering, stammering, or completely mute. He quickly realized that this was more than a mere speech impediment, he had to go deeper. There was a connection with traumatic events, and the lies they believed because of them. His soldiers were returning from the chaos of the battlefield absolutely convinced they no longer had a voice--that no one was listening. Lionel in his own words said, "I showed them they still had a voice." He broke the lie. Bertie also carried some baggage. A meek child, he recounted that his first nanny hated him and failed to feed him for many years before his mother and father finally took notice. He relayed his dad's disgust at his stammering problem, and his eldest brothers constant taunting. He told of his defects, the bent legs that were corrected by excruciatingly painful metal braces worn for years, and the worst of it, the lonliness that came from being a member of the royal family--hidden from view. All of this led to a lie not just about his circumstances but about his identity. He may have been the Son of a King, but he felt like a nobody and he believed he was just that. But Lionel knew better. He saw past the King's defects and helped him discover the lie and subsequently the truth--that he had a voice and that his voice was important! With his newfound freedom, King George the VI led his people into the 2nd World War with Hitler and his inspirational war time broadcasts helped encourage and empower a nation that desperately needed it. King George VI (Bertie) found his voice, and Britain found one of the greatest leaders they'd ever had. Like Bertie, we too are Sons and Daughters of the King and just as susceptible to the lies of the enemy. How many times have we drawn false conclusions from our circumstances and believed the lie (Insert lie here)? I lost, so I'm a loser. They don't like me, so I must be un-loveable. They hurt me so I must be worthless. I'm different, so I must be bad. The most dangerous are those that the enemy tells us about who we are. So how do we break them?

Find the lie and renounce it.

Ask God to show you the truth.

Finally Repent. This is where we acknowledge our part in all this--that we drew false conclusions about our circumstances and agreed with the lies of the enemy.

My father was not a particularly loving individual in that he often had temper flares and said some damaging things not only about what I did, but who I was. A lie I believed for a very long time because of this was that I was un-loveable.

The truth that God showed me was that my Father loved me very much, but that he himself was hurting and out of that hurt came the hurtful words he spoke that had nothing to do with me and everything to do with his own bondage. I repented, right then and there for agreeing with the enemy that I was un-loveable and acknowledging that God loved me very much, so much that He sent his only Son to stand in the gap for me. As God set me free from the bondage of rejection, my whole countenance changed, and I felt just like Bertie when he triumphantly shouted " I HAVE A VOICE!" I wanted to shout from the rooftops about the love of God and the freedom found therein!

Imagine for a second that Bertie had gone on believing the lie that his voice didn't matter. Would he have stepped up in place of his eldest brother as the monarch of a nation? Would he have been able to speak to thousands of hurting people as many of their sons and fathers were sent off to war? Could he have encouraged them through the constant air raids and lack of supplies? The truth was that his voice mattered more than he would ever know and without him, Great Britain's history would have looked much different. Bertie found the Freedom to lead a nation, and our destinies are just as important!

So what's stopping you?

The Sabbath

2011-01-08T13:21:00.000-08:00

Bear in mind that the LORD has given you the Sabbath; that is why on the sixth day he gives you bread for two days. Everyone is to stay where they are on the seventh day; no one is to go out.”

Exodus 16:29

When you read the Old Testament, line by line, it can seem confusing. There are rules and regulations for just about anything you can think of. Sometimes God's gives a command, and then in the next chapter He seems to retract it. And then there's that whole New Testament thing. What rules apply and what don't? Do we still tithe or observe the sabbath? What about those festivals God seemed so passionate about? What changed?

In a word- everything.

There was, before the fall, a time where we didn't need rules at all. We were connected to God in such a way that life giving principles naturally flowed in our lives. Then the fall happened, and ever since we humans have had the nasty penchant to take life giving principles and make them into heavy-laden rules. The good news is, Christ came to change all that! He came to reconnect us and help us change our minds about the world around us.

The Sabbath is a great example. The Pharisees took this principle and made it a rule, so much so that they argued if Jesus could heal on the Sabbath! Many Christians are not far behind these Pharisees. We've made the Sabbath a day to be busy; go to church, go to bible study, Potlucks, classes, evening services. No wonder the average church goer is just as tired and worn out as anyone else! We've found no rest!

God cared so much about us, that he decreed a day where we didn't need to lift a finger. He gave us helpful principles to get there, like preparing the Sabbath's food a day ahead of time. If you're a mom, you get why that's important. A whole day without cooking? That's a mother's dream! Imagine a day where everything is done; the laundry, the dishes, the cooking, the cleaning, and even the grocery shopping! Imagine a day where you didn't need to go out of your house at all! That's the Sabbath I'm talking about! A whole day of life-giving rest!

So how, in a busy world do we achieve that? I think everyone's Sabbath will look a bit different, but I've listed some suggestions below:

Pray. Ask God what your Sabbath will look like. It seems silly, but when you're talking about life giving principles, He's the one with all the Life.
Pick your Sabbath. Truthfully, I don't think God cares what day it is. You may work during the weekend, so pick a day, or maybe your Sabbath is Saturday instead of Sunday. Whatever day it is, get it on the calendar.
Get it done. Whether it's grocery shopping, cooking, or taking down Christmas Lights, get it done before your day of rest. That way it's not weighing on your mind.
Rest. Yes, rest. No cleaning or laundry on the Sabbath. Take the day to chill at home with family. You'll be surprised how much life you can get out of taking one day to completely relax.

Some of these principles may be hard to implement at first, but your family and your body will thank you. God meant for the Sabbath to be for our good. It's His gift to us. Use it.

Why New Years' Resolutions don't work - Part II

2011-01-03T17:53:00.000-08:00

21For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Matthew 6:21

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33

There is a principle that is often taught at my church, within our freedom ministry. It goes something like "whatever you focus on, will organize the rest of your life." It's deeper than simply an issue of priorities; it's an issue of the heart.

I've spent the last ten years focused on my body; what goes into and what goes out. I've agonized over what to eat, how much to eat, and what diet plan works the fastest. I focused my energy on food, and food organized the rest of my life. It controlled me. I gained and lost, lost and gained, but the root of the issue was simply where my heart was.

It sounds simple and the good news is, it is. Jesus' burden isn't heavy, it's light! He didn't come to simply yoke us with a new burden, He came to take them all. He simply asks us to seek Him first, and the rest will naturally follow. That means seek Him before your weight loss efforts, and the weight will come off. Seek Him first before your financial crisis, and you'll find it resolved. Seek Him first before your dreams and desires, you'll find that not only are they fulfilled, but expounded upon and changed.

God is for us. He desires the very best for us, but He can't give it to us if we've got our backs turned, and He certainly can't give us anything if our hands are gripped tightly to other things.

Once we loosen the handle we have on what we think we need, and focus on Him, we'll find that those other things simply fall into place. I've seen this happen in my own life. When I finally dropped my need for a promotion, I got the position, when I finally turned my focus off being thin and on Him, the weight started to drop....when I turned my efforts from pointing out others wrongs to seeking His purpose for my own life, I got healed.

Resolutions don't work because they shift our focus onto what we think we need, instead of on Him. Seek first the Kingdom, and all your "resolutions" will be added unto you, but maybe (and probably) not the way you expected. And trust me, that's a good thing.

Why New Years' Resolutions don't work...

2011-01-01T12:56:00.000-08:00

But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart

~Matthew 15:18

Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.

~Author Unknown

New Years is a time to reflect on the old and look forward to the new. It's a time to take stock of the goals we've reached, and those we've let fall by the wayside. It's a time where everyone makes those infamous "resolutions", ones that never seem to make it to the end of the year. As the weeks wane on, we lose our newfound motivation to drop those pounds, read that book, pray more fervently, learn to love exercise, memorize more scripture, or whatever else is on our bucket list.

Diets for me were the big ones. For years it frustrated me. I just couldn't seem to find the motivation to make it through the year. Work would be busy, life would get in the way, and just like that those resolutions were out of sight, out of mind. I felt condemned and unworthy each time I failed.

My heaviest weight peaked well over 300 lbs and that was after years of dieting and striving and failed resolutions. I felt awful, ugly, and sick. During a ministry exercise I pleaded for God, for Him to help show me what my problem was. It was then I heard it.

What do you crave most?

I balked, thinking, well duh God, you! And then I cringed, because I immediately knew that wasn't true. On my worst days, I didn't crave God's peace or presence, I craved peanut butter M&M's, cheesecake, and pasta. When I was sad, I looked for food to fill me. When I was happy, I looked to food to celebrate with me. When I was angry, I used food to satiate my rage. But never was I looking to God to fill all those needs.

Resolutions weren't working for me because they never got to the very root of my problem. They were only a band-aid. My problem wasn't the food so much as what I was using the food for. Instead of looking to food to feed my physical body, I was looking for it to also feed the spiritual and emotional parts as well. The latter part of 2010 has taught me that my weight is an outside symptom of an inner heart problem, one that can't be fixed by willing myself to do so.

Slowly, but surely, those pounds are coming off. Inch by inch and chain by chain, I'm becoming freer. In hindsight, sixty five pounds down from my highest weight (whoot!), this struggle is a blessing. It's forced me to daily go to God with my needs and learn to lean on Him. I wouldn't trade the intimacy I know now with Jesus for anything.

This January 1st, I hope that those who read here will not buy into the lie that if you only tried harder, you'd reach your goal. That's works, and works leave you exhausted and no better off that before. Effort of course on our part is necessary, but not without God's help to get to the very root of our issues. Without Him, we're all hopeless. Without Him, without the freedom He can give, we're all in chains.

This New Years, commit to a deeper relationship with Him and leave the resolutions out of it.

A Christmas Story....

2010-12-20T08:27:00.000-08:00

2-7The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light. For those who lived in a land of deep shadows—light! sunbursts of light! You repopulated the nation,you expanded its joy. Oh, they're so glad in your presence! Festival joy! The joy of a great celebration, sharing rich gifts and warm greetings. The abuse of oppressors and cruelty of tyrants—all their whips and cudgels and curses—Is gone, done away with, a deliverance as surprising and sudden as Gideon's old victory over Midian. The boots of all those invading troops, along with their shirts soaked with innocent blood, Will be piled in a heap and burned, a fire that will burn for days! For a child has been born—for us! the gift of a son—for us! He'll take over the running of the world. His names will be: Amazing Counselor, Strong God, Eternal Father, Prince of Wholeness. His ruling authority will grow, and there'll be no limits to the wholeness he brings. Isaiah 9

It all started in a garden with two trees and a choice; to believe God and stay connected, or to take matters into our own hands. With one terrible choice the human race was disconnected from the God as we chose knowledge over life. After the fall, darkness spread throughout the earth. Some took refuge in religion, and horrible things were done in the name of Godly institution. Each generation tried to know and do more good, hoping to change something. Each generation believed they knew a better way, a greater way, with more rules to follow and more guidelines to adhere to. But no amount of rules or law brought any change to the human race. ...Until a tiny babe in a manager graced us with His presence. That night changed the world and everything in it, the day that God incarnate came to live among His people. He challenged the Pharisees, lifted the burden of religion and the need to be perfect. His kept company with prostitutes and tax collectors, set captives free, healed illnesses and cast out demons. He fed thousands with a few loaves of bread and fish, and He challenged people to think differently about who God is and who they are in Him, and He conquered death. And He's still doing that today. He's still speaking, He's still setting prisoners free daily. He is still healing, still shedding light in dark places, making us think differently about who He is and who we are in Him, and bringing Life to the dead and dark places of this world. The story of Christmas is one that is being played out daily. It is the beginning of life and the end of death. It is the beginning of freedom, and the end of bondage. Today and every other day is changed because of one dark night in a stable so very long ago.

On iphone games and waiting on God....

2010-12-12T09:53:00.000-08:00

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way should go; I will guide you with My eye.”

(Psalm 32:8)

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

(Proverbs 3:5)

I'm a bit headstrong when it comes to any kind of game; board games, video games, you name it. Once I start a game, I play to win. That's exactly what I was doing last night with my husband's iphone. The name: Oven Break. The game: to get the gingerbread man out of the oven to safety.

I played for an hour or so before I finally slammed down the phone, angry that I just couldn't seem to win. This was a game of hand eye coordination where you navigated gingerman through valleys, over sharp objects, and across dangerous territory, but I noticed that because I was over anticipating, I'd continually impale my little player. I'd see the obstacle before me and I'd react too soon, always ending in disaster.

Light bulb!

How many times had I seen an obstacle and moved too soon, without God? And how many times had it ended in disaster? Part of my headstrong nature is that I continually believe that I know best, but more often than not I get myself into deeper trouble.

The Israelites had this issue too. Instead of waiting on Moses to come down the mountain, they built their own God, instead of trusting God in the dessert, they moaned and whined about the trip. They continually thought they knew better than the God of the universe and often they only ended up in deeper trouble.

We're at a disadvantage in the time we live in. Everything is fast paced and instant gratification, and so we naturally expect God to do the same. Like a magic 8 ball, we expect the answers right away.

It took a game to remind me that often the most beneficial and spiritually affirming times, were those where I had to wait on God's timing. When I did manage to wait for God before I moved, the outcome was always victory. When I jumped the gun, it was always chaos and disaster.

Take a lessen from my poor impaled gingerbread man. God's ways are better than ours. He knows what's ahead of us and how to direct us to a victorious ending (even if it's just an iphone game!)

Dealing with Perfectionism

2010-11-16T09:45:00.001-08:00

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

You're just a perfectionist! my mom said laughing. We were talking about the root of procrastination, which she figured was perfectionism; if you can't do it perfectly, you put it off. She was right, but it was no laughing matter. I'd struggled with perfectionism for years. It had made me an excellent singer, but a lousy student. I was either going to do something perfectly, or not try it at all. Schoolwork was left undone, new opportunities passed over, because I wasn't sure I could do them perfectly. Fear of failure haunted me at every corner, and it was ruining my life, but I knew that the root cause of perfectionism was much deeper than that, I just didn't know how to get to it.

Blogger Brene Brown's view on perfectionism hit the nail right on the head.

Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. It is not about healthy achievement and growth. It is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame. It’s a shield.....Perfectionism is not self-improvement. Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance. Research shows that most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule-following, people-pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, we adopt this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. *

Perfectionism comes from the lie that says that we are what we do. At the very core of perfectionism is the issue of identity. Her assessment was true, at least of me. I grew up being praised for what I did, but the problem was that in order to feel accepted, I had to replicate that action. I was never praised for who I was or for my efforts, and when I failed I felt the very heavy weight of rejection. Somewhere during those childhood experiences I bought the lie that I was what I accomplished and for years this kept me in bondage.

One day during a ministry event I was talking to God about this, and all of a sudden He spoke to me about my identity and it changed everything. All of a sudden, I didn't have to strive for acceptance, because I was already accepted. I didn't have to fear failure, because failure no longer came with rejection. I suddenly knew that I was no longer what I did or accomplished. I was someone new, someone worthy. My identity was no longer rooted in what I did, but in who I was in Christ.

Maybe you struggle with perfectionism. Maybe you find yourself in that cycle; the one where you either do it well or not at all. If you find yourself struggling daily with the fear of failure, or the fear of being useless, consider that at the very root of all is who you think you are. Let God tell you that, because once He does, I guarantee it will change everything.

*To read the rest of Brene Brown's blog, click here.

Self-esteem versus God Confidence

2010-11-05T08:56:00.000-07:00

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

Psalm 139:14

A conversation in our break room sparked my interest the other day. It surrounded the topic of parenting and self-esteem. There is new research out that the "building self-esteem" craze has led to a generation rampant with entitlement. Years ago the new word in parenting was in building confidence in children, but parents are quickly learning that it's backfired. Let me tell you a story. I was a very talented teenager (Can you guess what the problem was?). I won award after award for my vocal talents and my self esteem was overly healthy. I knew I was good, my teachers told me I was good, and my parents encouraged me too. With my big head, there was no room for God. But very early in my career at the Boston Conservatory, I was diagnosed with a disease that took any dream of becoming an Opera star away. My self esteem was at an all time low and I floundered through another three or four years of college, unable to function in a world that did not cater to or praise me. No one had ever pointed me towards the Lord, and it was another two years before I realized that my identity did not lay in my talents or achievements, but in Who God created me to be. There is a vast difference between self-esteem and God Confidence. Self-esteem asks "What do I think of me?" while God Confidence asks "What does the Lord think of me?" If our identity is dependent upon ourselves, what we're capable of, what we achieve.....it will quickly crumble. If all we teach our children is self esteem, we've set them up to fail. Like my identity crumbled once my talents shifted, basing our identity in what we do and what we achieve is very shaky ground. What if instead of teaching children to be confident in themselves alone we taught our children to have true confidence in another source? What if we taught them to have confidence in the One who resides in them? What if we shifted their world view from a narcissistic inward focus to an outward Kingdom perspective? By doing these things, we set our children up to lead successful lives full of the knowledge that they are all fearfully and wonderfully made, with their focus on the Creator. It's a perspective shift from a "what" to a "who"; that their identity does not depend on what they can do or achieve, but on the Who that created them.

Choose Life

2010-11-01T19:55:00.000-07:00

This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live.

Deuteronomy 30:19

A family in bankruptcy, a hurting and broken marriage, an addiction, bondage; these are things that do not happen overnight. We see people in these positions over and over again, and many have no idea how they ended up there, and many more don't want to know. Knowing would mean acknowledging poor choices and the meaning behind them.

When I first came to Christ I made decisions based on rule and law. I knew I wasn't supposed to do ____ and so I didn't, but that logic paired with my human-ness failed miserably. We were never meant to make life choices out of rules or logic, but rather out of relationship.

Daily we have choices, and each choice has a consequence, two actually; life or death. There is no fence sitting, no in-betweens. It's simply one or the other. For example, you can choose to eat out fifteen times this pay period, or you can steward your finances wisely both to the Kingdom and to your family. You can choose to spend the night in front of the TV, or you can choose to spend that time wisely. Every choice gives us the opportunity to choose life or death.

But choosing life is impossible if you don't have a connection to the Source of All Life. You can make all the right choices for all the wrong reasons and still find yourself in death, but choosing life first means choosing relationship.

So next time your faced with a choice, think about who it's connected to and who you're connected to. Satan comes to steal, kill, destroy, and lie, but God comes with hope, restoration, healing, and most importantly Life. Choose Life today, so that you may live, and live abundantly!

Geography is not the problem....

2010-10-24T10:06:00.000-07:00

And remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

~Confucius

"My brother tried to stay with my mom to help her out. We all kept telling him that he was turning into her, and eventually he moved out. You have got to move out too, or you'll end up just like your nonna."

I sat starring intently at my dear friend across from me. We'd been talking about my move in with my elderly grandmother and how hard it had been. What she was saying sounded like great advice which summed up could be: move out and your life will get better. From the world's perspective, she had a point. Get away from the source of the pain, and the pain will go away, right?

But what if the source of pain wasn't a person or even a situation? What if the source of the pain was something deeper? The warning sign for her advice is that it was problem focused.

I spent the next two months or so wrestling with my problem. I was in real pain, and I thought that my nonna was at the center of it. She was demanding, and often she made me feel worthless. (Can you start to hear the problem?) But if I suddenly up and moved out, what would she do? No one else would care for her, and she refused to move out of her large house......I was getting hopeless that there was a good solution to this problem.

But God is always faithful to show answers. During a quiet time in a ministry exercise, I heard that still and quiet voice; What if Geography isn't the problem? What if where you are living has nothing to do with it?

Alright God, I thought, if geography isn't the problem, what is? It was then that he showed me a core lie I'd been living my life through: I was responsible for my family's happiness. As the oldest child I'd always felt responsible for my family and many relational experiences had confirmed in my heart that this was true. Translated into my current living situation, this meant that I had to cater to every whim and whobble of my nonna's unstable and often unhealthy desires. If I didn't meet her demands, I felt guilty. Therefore, no boundaries were being set.

The truth of course, was that I didn't have to be responsible for her or her happiness.

The very next night, was a test of my new perspective. She'd had a bad day and my husband had even called me to say "Honey, we have to go out tonight. If you come home with her like this, you'll get into another fight with her." I understood his anticipation, because that had been the cycle. She'd go off, push my buttons of guilt, and suddenly we were both in a fight.

But not this time.

This time I hugged her, told her whatever she was mad at couldn't be such a big deal, and I told her I loved her. For about thirty more minutes she continued to throw a fit, but with no one else to push back against, she quickly calmed down.

God was right. Whether I was her caregiver or not, my problem was still the same: I'd believed a lie and I was living my life through it. Hearing the truth set me free to live with her in a healthy way, with boundaries. And now I'm free to love her through a set of different lenses. Her fits no longer enrage me, and with no one to fight against, those are becoming few and far between.

The problem wasn't geography at all. It was the topography of my own heart.

Counselor

2010-10-22T17:12:00.000-07:00

But I tell you the truth: It is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Counselor will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you.

~John 16:7

I sat in a room with about eighty other strangers, listening intently to the teaching in front of me. One of my top strengths is learning, and I was blissfully soaking up the information at hand. As the teacher announced that he felt lead to pray, I groaned. I disliked ministry activation exercises that were done in front of people more than anything in the world. I hated how vulnerable it made me feel, and I hated hearing the cries of others.

The truth is that I hated those cries because I couldn't join in. Oh. I wanted to, believe me. But I cried so rarely, I couldn't remember the last time I had. Something inside of me stalled when I experienced intense emotion and I had no idea why.

The teacher at hand said he had a picture of a little girl, sitting alone. I squirmed in my chair, annoyed to be sitting so long, when all of a sudden, tears streamed down my face. I touched them in complete disbelief. Crying? I don't cry! What's going on here!

Memories came flooding back, memories of feeling alone and unseen. But the most shocking memory was of my father, who was mostly a loving man. In that memory I was bawling, and instead of seeing my wounds, he told me to "dry my alligator tears." My own father thought I was crying simply for attention! It was then and there that I made the vow not to be that vulnerable again.

And I hadn't been, until now. I rejected and renounced the vow that I wouldn't be vulnerable and replaced it with God's truth...the truth that it was okay to be vulnerable, the truth that some of my past experiences had been severely misinterpreted. I thought that my Father's statement was about me, but it was really about him.

I love that what may have taken years of Christian counseling or other therapies to uncover only took moments with the God of the Universe. If we can learn to hear his voice and promptings, I truly believe that God is the best Counselor there is.

If you are struggling with something, consider that God is willing to talk anytime, anywhere. Grab a comfy chair, a bible, and some good music. I like to ask Him "Do you have something you'd like to talk with me about?" Rarely there's silence, but I figure that then He must just want to hang out.

As for me, I'm finally able to cry (and in front of people!), to be vulnerable because of what I heard today. That doesn't mean that I won't battle some serious lifestyle patterns but faith comes by hearing....and I certainly heard today.

Why our stories matter....

2010-10-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

Stories live in your blood and bones, follow the seasons and light candles on the darkest night-every storyteller knows she or he is also a teacher...

~Patti Davis

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony...

~Revelation 12:11

"Do you read everyone's blog?" My coworker snickered.

She had a point. Just about everyone on our church staff has dipped their toes into the blogosphere and I admit, I read them all. It's not because I'm nosey, it's because I love reading people's stories, stories that tell in detail about what God has and is still doing in this world.

If there is one thing that the internet has done for the Church worldwide, it's that it has given us access to other's stories like we've never had before. How else could I read about Princess Warrior's healing from depression in Australia or be captivated by Ali's adventures and God revelations in Africa. What other way could I learn from The Livesay's experiences in compassion,understanding, and love in Haiti? The message here is clear, encouraging, and full of hope: He's still working. He's still doing the same things He's done for thousands of years.

God is passionate about individual stories. It is through this venue that He has chosen to show us what He has and is still doing. The Bible is a giant compilation of individual stories, stories that mattered, stories that told us that God's not done yet. Stories that spurred our hearts on to hope that if God could work in their lives, He can work in ours.

What's more effective, to give a theological exposition on God's ability to heal, or to hear about a woman who's been completely set free from bondage? You can hear a lecture on the goodness of God, or you can read about a small group of surgeons who are committed to helping correct deformities in young children in Africa. Stories captivate, inspire, and spur our spirits on in a world that is increasingly in need of hope.

I love that about God, don't you? I love that even though many believe we're sitting in the "end times" God is turning up the hope dial. I love that God is using tools like the internet to give us access to all the good He is doing. I love that He is still changing lives and setting people free, and that I can read about it from thousands of miles away.

What's your story? It matters more than you think.

Miscommunication.

2010-10-14T17:45:00.000-07:00

19My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

-James 1

I stood at the checkout counter of the market down the street from my Aunt's apartment in Rome. The lady clearly spoke only Italian, and while I wasn't so shabby in that tongue, we were clearly not speaking each others language. I was pointing to my map, hoping that she'd get the jist, and she very well could have, but I had no clue what she was trying to say.

Each of us have our own unique way of processing and communicating to others. It's built by an accumulation of culture, gender, age, family background, and social circles. It can be influenced greatly by our wounds, insecurities, and false beliefs. Pair that together with Satan's intent to sabotage relationships, and there seems to be little hope for clear communication.

So how do we stop miscommunication? Here are a few lessons I've learned (the hard way.)

Don't make a snap judgement. We each bring our own set of life rule books to the table, and more often than not they won't match up. But that doesn't mean the other person is wrong. It just means they are different.

Check your heart and refrain from a knee jerk response. I'm notorious for reacting right away and everytime, it's ended in disaster! Leave the room, get off the phone, or answer that email the next day. More damage is done when we react our of hurt, than when we take the time to assess the situation.

Listen. Really listen. Strip away the insecurities, fears, and lies you may be believing about that person and their heart towards you. These things color the way we receive. Taking them away helps us truly see the other person's heart.

Learn to Empathize. There's a fine line between empathy and sympathy, but empathy is the venue through which we can see another's perspective. Empathy can be a very handy translation device. You may not speak the same communication language, but it you can place yourself in their shoes, you may see something you didn't see before. Could it be that you over reacted or just couldn't see the other persons rulebook?

Give Grace. Maybe they've just been told bad news, maybe their work day didn't go as planned, or they've got personal issues that color their behavior. Any way you slice it, grace covers a multitude of sins.

Honor the other person. Part of honor is choosing to believe the best about that person. Satan plays on our past experiences, misrepresenting the truth and he would love for you to believe the very worst about the person in front of you. After all, if he can divide, he can conquer. It must then be our mission to uphold relationships and guard our hearts.

By doing these things we honor both God and each other, and frankly it saves us all alot of head and heartaches.

Freedom from Religion

2010-10-13T21:04:00.001-07:00

Today I watched in horror as one of the most influential speakers in the Church today, uttered these words... "It's about sinning no more." He was speaking about the driving force behind healing and ministry. I shook my head in disbelief and rewound the video. Millions of people were watching this man, a man who is respected and loved say that the Christian life could be summed up in three words: sin no more.

Something inside of me lurched and I couldn't help but cry out silently, You've missed the point!

Sin no more? If that's the point of this life we're living, then we're all doomed. Only one being, fully man and God lived a sinless life and He did so not so He could point to His example and say, See, I've set the bar higher, see if you can reach it! He did it to be the avenue through which man could finally reconnect with God.

Connection to Life, that's the point. A Connection to the Source of all Life.

Since the fall we've been operating out of our own strength and wisdom. We've drawn our borders and boundaries based on our own knowledge of good and evil. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that our own knowledge has never been sufficient, and has even been detrimental. Disconnected from the source of Life, we experienced death and destruction. But, God. But God sent a Son to Earth that was sinless and paid the price of our sin so that we could again commune with God.

Saying that trying to live a sinless life is the point of Christianity is like saying that trying not to drink is the solution to alcoholism. When we try in our own strength we are absolutely, positively guaranteed to fail, because we're still disconnected from Life.

One of our Pastors, Bob Hamp, has a saying; that whatever we seek first, will organize our lives. If we seek to be free of alcohol, alcohol becomes our focus. But if we seek the Kingdom of God, if we seek the connection to true Life, all other things will fall in place. If we seek first to try not to sin, it will organize our lives and ultimately we'll end up defeated and bitter. But seeking first a connection to Him, that will result in the wisdom, discernment, and heart change that's required to flee from sin.

We must guard our hearts against entertaining the thought that we in our own will and power have the ability to stay away from sin. It's an illusion that the Pharisees of Jesus' day believed, men that Jesus called broods of vipers! What He was trying to offer them was a connection, an avenue back to intimacy with Him.

That's the point of our Christian walk. That's the path towards Life and Freedom. He's calling out for connection and relationship with us daily. Will you answer?

Life Connections

2010-10-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

8 There was a man all alone;he had neither son nor brother.There was no end to his toil,yet his eyes were not content with his wealth."For whom am I toiling," he asked,"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"This too is meaningless a miserable business!

9Two are better than one,because they have a good return for their work:10 If one falls down,his friend can help him up.But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! ~Ecclesiastes 4:8-10~

Americans are right that the bonds of our communities have withered, and we are right to fear that this transformation has very real costs. ~Bowling Alone, by Robert Putnam~

I attend a church of over 14,000 members. So, you can understand my shock and awe when our church came out with the statistic that only about 10% of our members are involved in a life group or bible study. That's a little over 1,000 people. This statistic has been confirmed over and over again through personal experience, as I consistently meet people that are not plugged in. Many of them have no close Christian friendships and so naturally I started to wonder, what gives? Apparently this anomaly is not just common in our Church culture, but is also true of America as a whole. In his book Bowling Alone, Robert goes on to site statistics that point towards the decline in close friendships in the majority of our population. Twenty years ago it was common to site three or four people that were considered deep friendships. That number has dropped by half. Today most Americans can site only one or two close friendships. Is it any wonder then that the rates of depression and anxiety disorders in the United States are on the rise? We were never meant to do this life alone, disconnected from each other. God made us, especially women, to desire community and connectedness. We're made to relate to others and without that our Christian walk is crippled. So how do we combat this trend?

Invest time in others. We're all busy, but when we become too busy to connect with others, we are doing ourselves and those around us a disservice. First and foremost, God called us into relationship with others. Secondly, friendship, according to Dr. Dean Ornish is good medicine and can even help us combat heart disease. Those who fostered close friendships in his study also saw a 72% decrease in depression symptoms. His statistics also bolster the idea that people with a strong network of friendships are able to weather illness and trauma much more successfully than those who lack a network of support. "The Nurses Health Study" out of Harvard concluded that not have a close network of friendship and support was just as much a health risk as smoking or obesity! Investing in others is not only beneficial to them, but to your own spiritual, mental, and physical wellness.

Be Yourself. Or can I phrase it this way...dare to be vulnerable! It's common to feel like we must keep on masks when we are with others, but by putting down your own mask, you're giving others permission to do so as well. By sharing your own struggles and stories, you're giving others permission to do the same. Our stories are important because they are the venue through which God shows the world what He has and is still doing.

See. People underestimate the value of truly looking someone in the eye. Psychologists agree that this is one of the most important non verbal communication skills. You'd be suprised how many people feel passed over and unseen. Next time you meet someone, pray to see them the way Jesus does. By simply choosing to see someone through the Lord's perspective we may gain a friend and minister to someone's heart.

Find the lie. The enemy loves to lie to us by misrepresenting past experiences. Maybe you were tortured and teased by others as a child and so you believed your were worthless instead of seeing that those kids were suffering themselves. Perhaps your mother never gave you words of affirmation and so you believed the lie that you would never measure up instead of seeing that she was acting out of her own bondage and false beliefs. Whatever it is that is keeping you isolated, it isn't from God.

Know who you are responsible for. Not everyone will like you. Personalities, missions, and values will no doubt conflict. You will also have enemies. But the truth is, the only person you are responsible for, is yourself. Their behavior and actions are not your concern. There is freedom in knowing that.

Know who you are living for. Many of us are still living under the bondage that we must please others, but this is the opposite of what God called us to. In the case of developing close friendships, maybe you fear that you'll be rejected, or you fear judgment. This is the opposite of God's plan for relationship. We were never meant to entertain the idea that our life must be lived up to others expectations. "You see trying to live your life living up to others’ expectations is an insatiable quest. They forget what they say as soon as they say it, yet you make it the very borders and boundaries in which you live your life, looking to meet those expectations and find approval."~Marissa Star

Making connections with others may be something you struggle with. If this is the case, get in some quiet time and ask the Lord why. If you're like me, you may struggle with the fear of being rejected. Or maybe there are some core lies that you've been believing about yourself that simply aren't true. But one thing is clear, we must fight for relationship. The enemy has a cunning military plan; if he can divide, he can conquer. Friendships are important to God and therefore a target for the enemy. It's time to take a stand and invest in relationship with others. Go to a Life group, get involved in a bible study, volunteer with your local church and connect with someone today. The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone.-Genesis 2:18

On Knee-Jerk Reactions and Changing Your Mind

2010-10-11T15:55:00.000-07:00

“Thoughts lead on to purpose, purpose leads on to actions, actions form habits....." Tryon Edwards

About four years ago, a year into my marriage, I discovered that my husband hadn't been completely upfront with me about his past or the things he struggled with. I was shattered, but most of all, the trust I had placed in him was obliterated. He was forthcoming, and eventually agreed to seek help from some trusted friends and professionals. Despite all that, I was drowning. Thoughts like, (How can I ever trust Him again? What if he hurts me? What if he falls back into the old habits?) continued to plague my mind. Time and time over he would prove himself sincere, attending classes, seeking help, and changing slowly with each step he took. But that small sinister voice kept nagging at me. Those thoughts made it hard for me to believe he was being genuine. At the inkling of what felt familiar, I'd spiral into fits of rage and anger, thinking, Here we go again! Eventually we came to a standstill. Clearly he was changing into the man God had made him to be. He'd proven that something inside of him had shifted, but I was still playing the same old part. I beat him down with constant berating, questioning, and disrespect.I hadn't grown or improved. I still continued to have knee-jerk reactions that were crippling us and impairing both of us from moving forward. I was cynical about change, and by playing the same part, I wasn't allowing any relational improvement to happen. These habitual reactions that plagued me required no thought. They were patterned by previous experiences and put me on autopilot. How common is it to find ourselves daydreaming as we drive the same route to work? Our body and mind go into auto mode, and suddenly we arrive at our destination with little memory of how we ended up there. This same pattern can happen in many relationships where we may have been wounded by another and where habitual thoughts and reactions have been set up. At the very inkling of a situation that feels like a previous one, and suddenly we're reacting without thought or regard. But this doesn't have to be the norm. The Greek word for repent, metanoia, literally means to "change your mind" or to "think differently." Habitual reactions to any situation will continue to ring true until we make a conscious choice to change our mind and think differently about the situation at hand. Or can I summarize it this way: repentance is letting God change us from the inside (our thoughts), out. Several months ago I made a conscious choice to think differently about my situation. What I mean by that is that for hours I sat at God's feet, praying for my own heart and mind to be renewed towards my spouse. I had to acknowledge my part in the dysfunctional way we operated as a couple, the bondage I had to lies and judgments, and I had to forgive his prior actions. By continuing to hold him hostage to his past mistakes, I was impeding on his ability to lead our home and by continuing to give my habits free range of my actions, I was continuing to put myself in bondage. Freed from that, our marriage is flourishing. Don't get me wrong here. I still struggle, but I continue to stand on freed ground and rage against the lies the enemy would have me believe. I stand firm in refusing to play the same old part. I thought and continue to think differently. Do you have knee jerk reactions to situations? Do you continue to struggle with unforgiveness? Do you find yourself in the same relational patterns over and over again? Consider that it is time to get honest with God and let Him help you change your mind.

For one of the most life changing books on changing your mind, visit http://www.bobhamp.com/ and grab a copy of Think Differently Live Differently.

On Striving and Lies

2010-10-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

What if you have a genuine and captivating beauty that is marred only by your striving?

— Stasi Eldredge (Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul)

A long time ago, a lie began to creep up in my heart. It was deposited there by a woman who meant very well, but whose words cut deeply. As a child, my grandmother adored me, but her love was a tough love that cut to the quick. Because of the things she'd endured in the past, she found the best form of love was to be blunt. For years she commented on my beauty. Too fat, too thin, why are you wearing that color! I like you must better with your hair down!

The comments fell hard on an eight year olds heart, and rushing in came the lie that I had no beauty. I spent years on crash diets and binges, in bondage to food and trying desperately to show the world I was beautiful.

But God. I love that phrase. But God spoke to me. It took years of Him speaking to me before I started to let His voice speak to the lies I'd believed.

Beyond make up, coiffures, and manicures....beyond primping, brushing, and powder dusting is the eternal truth that each of us holds a beauty that is all our own. The enemy would love to convince each woman that she is less than beautiful. That she must strive more, try harder, be better.

But God says just the opposite. What if our beauty could be found in resting in God? What if we laid down the trying and striving, and simply rested? I think that the renaissance painters were onto something when they consistently painted women at rest. A woman at peace with who God says she is, is a beautiful woman indeed. Striving to be something we're not only marrs that beauty.

I still catch myself striving every once in awhile. But in those moments, God is patient with me. The crash diets and binges get fewer and farther between, and my weight slowly but surely is dipping back towards healthy. Slowly, I'm becoming the person God made me to be because I know He thinks I'm beautiful.

The truth that God has been whispering to me daily is simply this: We are most beautiful when we are the most ourselves. Beautiful indeed.

It's all in the imagination...

2010-10-02T09:33:00.000-07:00

Think left and think right and think low and think high. Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try! ~Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Thinks You Can Think!

The World knows something that we as Christians have been ignoring for a very long time, and it's killing us. Used car salesmen, advertising agencies, and television networks alike use it to sell us a range of products through one main advertising medium; our imaginations. Imagine yourself in this car (with the beautiful girl in the passenger seat), Imagine yourself buying this product... it works, and they know it. Imagination leads to thought, thought leads to belief, and beliefs leads to action, and soon you're not only visualizing how great you'd look with said product you saw in that commercial, but your thinking about why it would be beneficial and how it just might change your life. Now, we all know a new car, makeup, or the latest kitchen gadget won't really change our lives, but it's the power of imagination that makes us all think it will. Is it any wonder then that Paul urged all believers to take their thoughts captive, or that Jesus proclaimed that even thinking about another woman could be seen as adultery. They knew what we didn't....that a simple thought could be the beginning of a terrible downward spiral that ends in strongholds and bondage.

*************The Heart and Mind Connection **********

The Hebrew word for heart ("Lev") is made up of two hebrew letters, lamed and beit. Lamed carries the picture of a shepherd's staff and points upward as the tallest letter. Beit has the picture of a house or dwelling place. So the word picture for the heart is literally a "dwelling place for the shepherd."

The original Hebrew is vital to understand because Hebrew letters and words often make pictures that relay important theological truths.The Hebrew letter Lamed can also be broken down into three smaller parts:

the yud, or smallest Hebrew letter, symbolizing the head, the mind, the intellect

the chaf, which represents the body physically

and the vav, which connects the two previous and looks like a hook

The heart is the pathway from the body to the mind. What goes in to our minds then matters, and it matters dearly. The mind becomes the threshold on which our spiritual war is fought, and it often starts with imagination. The war can stop there too. See, the Devil cannot make up or do anything new. All he can do is counterfeit the gifts God has given us and turn them against us. Imagination is one of these gifts. Paul knew that, and he told us clearly how to use it.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8).

*****************So What Now?******************

How do we take back that ground from the enemy? We combat him with the same gift he tried to use against us. We can use our imagination for our own spiritual health. We do this in two ways; by filtering out the thoughts that cause us harm and discomfort, and by using our imagination to help us connect to God. This is not an exposition on the power of positive thinking, or how to imagine yourself into a healthier place, because positive thinking alone cannot help us. It is the union of Christ's saving grace along with the ability to submit our mind (and our imaginations) to Him, that will result in freedom from strongholds and bondage. Freedom is not the absence of boundaries, as some will argue. These are the people that believe that they can watch a racy movie and separate that from their heart. No, freedom is not the absence of rules, but the presence of the living God. That's why positive thinking alone will not work. That's why taking renegade thoughts captive isn't the whole solution. The original Hebrew gave us a picture of how interconnected our hearts and mind are, but it also showed us the original intent of the human heart; the house of the shepherd; the dwelling place of His presence. If you have a hard time feeling His presence, you can utilize that imagination to help you. Get quiet and simply imagine His arms around you, comforting you, holding you. Imagine how safe you feel there, resting in His presence, the King of the Universe, The Father above all. Let your imagination help you connect to Him. That is, afterall, what it was intended to do. Without an infusion of His presence, without connection to Life, all our efforts are useless. But with His presence, and the knowledge of how to correctly utilize our imagination, the sky's the limit!

490

2010-09-12T19:48:00.000-07:00

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" 22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
~The book of Matthew, Chapter 18

It’s easy to write people off, and think it is impossible for them to become anything different from what they have been. But the entire Christian story is about the possibility of change, of people being made into new creations – and the Bible is full of taxcollectors and zealots, prostitutes and pious elites who are all re-thinking who they have been and who they want to be -- in light of Jesus.

~Shane Claiborne

.

We sat in a stark white room, the three of us; myself, my husband, and a very frustrated marriage counselor. We'd been going on and off for about four months and we'd just hit a road block, and when I say "we" I really mean "me."

For about two weeks we'd been rehashing the same issues. I couldn't seem to let go of the past. Anything that remotely reminded me of a past wound set me into a spiral of anger, furry, and resentment.

So, we sat in silence and it was then that God slapped me upside the head. No, really, I felt it.

How can you expect him to soar above who he was if you're keeping him grounded in who he has been? And how can you expect me to forgive all your mistakes when you cannot see past another's?

Ouch.

Somewhere in the five years we'd been married, I'd picked up two core lies. (One) was that forgiveness is useless, because (two) people cannot change. Somewhere I'd lost hope of the possibility of change, renewal, and restoration.

Jesus was serious about forgiveness. He commanded it, and not just a few times. Nope. Seventy times seven. That's 490 times!

490...can you even begin to think of anyone who has hurt you that much?

I don't think Jesus was asking us to be a doormat, but I do think he was using a hyperbole to make a point. And the point is merely this: While I cannot think of anyone who has hurt me 490 times, I bet that within the sum total of my lifetime I will have made at least that many mistakes, and I know that Jesus has made it possible for me to be forgiven of every one of them.

God is continually doing two things simultaneously for us because of Jesus. He's first and foremost forgiving us, but He is doing so with the hope He has in us for change. He did this with Israel. Continually Israel forsook Him and turned to other faiths, and continually God called them back and took them in again. God forgave Israel every time. A Father never loses faith in His children. There are no hopeless cases with God because of Jesus, and yet we as people continually find hopeless cases in others.

I wonder how many marriages are sacrificed on the altar of unforgiveness? I wonder how many women and men find themselves in a hopeless pit of despair built upon the lie that people cannot change.

You may be married, you may not be, but we've all written off someone based on who they've been. We've all harbored unforgiveness against someone. Today is the day to take those wounds, hurts, and issues to God. Today is the day to take forgiveness seriously and release that person to Him. Today is the day to take hold of the promise that the Christian journey is all about the possibility of change.

As for me, I think forgiveness is pretty neat. It's releasing my husband to be exactly who God is molding Him to be without tying him to the mistakes of the past. It's giving him the freedom to change. That's what Jesus does for me daily.

And hey, I'm pretty sure it just saved us money on our counseling bill.

Beauty

2010-09-09T16:41:00.001-07:00

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ... Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

~John 15 1-4

Pick up a magazine, turn on the television, or watch a movie and you will soon see that the world has certain views on what is beautiful. We are berrated by skinny models, short skirts, and perfectly airbrushed faces and bodies, none of which seem the least bit attainable to the average woman. Beauty is elusive, subjective, and in the eye of the beholder. It's hard to define, and even harder to attain.

In my quiet time I've been searching desperately for God's definition of a woman's beauty. It didn't take me long to start researching the Hebrew words for beauty.

Recently I came across an article about the word "hadar".

Like all abstract theories in Judaism which ultimately find their expression in concrete mitzvot, the idea of beauty, as well, finds a tangible realization in the central mitzvot of the holiday of Sukkot. The Torah requires: "And you shall take unto yourselves on the first day (of Sukkot) a fruit of a beautiful tree -- pri etz hadar." The Talmud (Sukkot 35a) wishes to define what constitutes a beautiful tree by analyzing the Hebrew word for beautiful, hadar. The sages conclude that it is the etrog tree, because the word "hadar" is interpreted to be a fruit which "dwells continuously all year on the tree" (ha-dar, literally, "that which dwells").

So then, the word hadar, like many Jewish words is a word picture. The picture painted is of one that dwells continuously on a tree. It's hard to miss the glaring similarity of the meaning of the word "hadar" and what Jesus tells us in the above passage.

Right there in John 15, Jesus tells us how to be beautiful. It's simple; Remain in Me. By remaining in Him, by remaining in a relationship that is thriving we give Him permission to continually work on our hearts. Like a grain of sand that is continually buffed into a sparkling pearl, or a piece of coal that is compressed and refined into a diamond, we are continually groomed and fashioned.

True Beauty has nothing to do with our outer looks. Time has a way of taking those away sooner or later. Beauty has everything to do with a heart that is continually being refined. Beauty is the willingness to submit all our "icky" parts to Him.

This doesn't mean that we cannot be concerned with how we present ourselves. What it does mean is that our "beauty" no longer rides on what we wear or how we dress. Freed from the bondage of continually trying to measure up, that's where we'll become vulnerable, free, and most importantly captivating beautiful.

*Above photo by Duchess Photography & Design. www.duchessphotodesign.com